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		<title>Should you grab any job that comes along?</title>
		<link>http://www.transitioning.org/2012/01/09/should-you-grab-any-job-that-comes-along/</link>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Jan 2012 11:32:24 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Number of View: 1913 Editor&#8217;s note: This article first appeared here on 21 Jun 2009.  Should you grab any job that comes along? Written By: Gilbert Goh Should you grab any job that comes your way after being retrenched? Many I know will try to go back to their same profession and some even seek [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Number of View: 1913<br/><p style="text-align: left;"><em><a href="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/cub3411.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-18788" title="cub3411" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/cub3411.jpg" alt="" width="585" height="452" /></a></em></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><em>Editor&#8217;s note: This article first appeared here on 21 Jun 2009.</em> </p>
<p><strong>Should you grab any job that comes along?</strong></p>
<p><strong>Written By: Gilbert Goh</strong></p>
<p>Should you grab any job that comes your way after being retrenched? Many I know will try to go back to their same profession and some even seek out the same position they last held with similar pay scale without any consideration for other position that they are unfamiliar with. So what should the unemployed do here?</p>
<p>I guess this is a personal issue and also largely depend on how long the person  has being unemployed. Some have a large sum of savings and can hold on for many months whereas others could not even go unemployed for a month. Depending on how desperate you are, you are the best judge of the situation.</p>
<p>Those who held senior position before  seem to take much longer time to find employment.  Senior management staff and chief executive officers tend to find it harder to find their next job especially in a very depressed job market even though their salary request is much reduced. I have seen senior managers earning $5,000 to $6,000 during the 1997 downturn turning to driving taxis to make ends meet. Their sacrifice and humility earn my utmost respect and I salute them! They are role models for the many unemployed people who may still be fussy about their job selection.</p>
<p><strong>Easier To Land Part Time Work</strong></p>
<p>Generally blue collared and clerical staff will find it easier to get employment as firstly such jobs are in demand and secondly their salary request is within market range.  Many   will  be able to find  work   if they are not too choosy. However, this is all so personal and what is gem to one may be trash to another. I have known some members here who are doing telemarketing for $7.00 an hour happily of which some will shy away from due to various reasons best known to the individual.</p>
<p>So should you take up any job that comes along regardless of the salary and job scope just so that you can go back to being employed again and lead a normal life? Our government has asked us to lower our expectation and just work first so that we are out of the misery. There is some truth there as the longer one stays jobless the worse the situation will become unless one has alot of backup funds. Even with an attractive severance pay out, many retrenched executives lost alot of self confidence as they sit at home doing nothing. Their family members also have to cope with daddy suddenly hanging around their neck 24/7.</p>
<p>Yet for others, the retrenchment may come at a wonderful time especially for mothers. A transitioning member gladly took out ten months of severance pay out and spent precious time at home now tending her two young kids.  After knocking off at 9pm daily for the last ten years, she found meaning in her life again with new found freedom at home. Her kids are also happy that mummy is finally at home now waiting for them instead of the maid. She may need to readjust her work philosophy having find so much meaning in life after staying at home for the past few months after being retrenched.</p>
<p><strong>Lifestyle Change</strong></p>
<p>Personally,  I find that we all need to lead a more balanced lifestyle in busy Singapore.  Too many of us have worked too hard in our jobs and this have cause us to lose touch with our family members and even ourselves.  We all need to work less and live simply so that we can find meaning in our existence. Many have told me that they felt  they are merely robots living meaninglessly in our stressful society. I agreed with them.</p>
<p>On another note,  some may want to just take up any jobs for the money. This is a practical society that we live in. Bills need to be paid and the home mortgage has to be paid on time.</p>
<p>Financial advisors have advise us,  as a rule of thumb,  that one should set aside at least six months of living expenditure for emergency use. However, speaking from my experience, a minimum sum of twelve months to eighteen months seem reasonable as one can stay jobless for one to two years against one’s choice. There is no fixed unemployment term unfortunately. Some I know have stay jobless for more than two years. Others longer.</p>
<p>Others may also ask if they can strike out on their own if they have some capital set aside for such a purpose? I say why not? Retrenchment always provide us the opportunity to try something new and we may succeed. The only caution I give is that if the business venture fails (which it may) what is your next option? Many who have dumped all their savings or severance pay into starting a new business venture get themselves burn and end up worse off than before. I would advise one who is keen to start a new business venture after being laid off to also set aside at least twelve months of expenditure sum so that there is something to fall back on in the event that the business really fail. We don’t plan to fail but if we fail to plan for contingency we are in for real trouble. It is good to be kaisu sometimes.</p>
<p><strong>Career Change</strong></p>
<p>What about a total career change? Again why not? I speak from experience again. I was working in the financial sector for around 5-6 years earning around $60,000 a year on average before going away. As I was all along keen in the social service sector, I thought I was ready for a career change. However due to the extremely low salary range I put it off my priority job search list as I realise that I could not maintain my lifestyle with the kind of salary I am getting. For a start, social workers are paid less than $2,000 a month and quotes of $1500 is not uncommon.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, after many months of unemployment and an recurring interest in that sector, I decided to plunge right in starting at $6.50 an hour as a part time worker in a family service center. After several months as a part timer, I was offered full time contract employment with a starting salary of less than $1500. I stayed with the center for less than a year before venturing out to another welfare organization managing to acquire a salary of $2500. Though it was less than half of my previous pay as a financial advisor, I was able to pay my bills and manage a reasonably decent lifestyle. What lessons have I learnt here?</p>
<p>Firstly, I should not have wait so long for the right job and salary to come along. By waiting, I wasted precious time and potential lost of income. The mental stress that I have acquired from the wait far outweighed the real loss in income and status of the new job. If I can do this all over again, I will follow my heart and seek out those jobs belonging to the social service sector. As such jobs do not pay well and many people shun them as dirty jobs, Singaporeans have a lot of choices if they don’t mind the salary range. Many people who are retrenched in the 40s and 50s are all doing well in the social service sector.</p>
<p>Secondly, it gives me a lot of satisfaction knowing that my job creates an impact on someone’s else life. Accountants and lawyers have known to throw away their five figure salary and spend their time in the social service sector. The job satisfaction they get far outweigh the huge loss in income and social status. Many have not regretted the big sacrifice and some even have to downsize their lifestyle in order for them to survive on the meager salary they are getting as social workers.</p>
<p><strong>Commission Paying Jobs</strong></p>
<p>Many people I know went into the commission-based industries such as property, insurance, stockbroking and multi level marketing (MLM). Many have done extremely well and regained back their self esteem. Some are smart enough to even go for taxi licensing first in preparation for any economic layoff – more like a backup plan. To these people, I saluted them as they are more prepared than others who can only watch when it is their turn to get laid off.</p>
<p>I remembered I went into the insurance business in 1994 and was making a reasonably decent living till 1999 before I ventured out for my study abroad. The income I made during those five years was equivalent to my ten years of service with the government as a civil servant. So if you are jobless, commission-based job is worth a try and you never know if you can do it or not without trying first right?</p>
<p>As commission-based jobs do not have a base salary one needs to ready for at least three months of no income as industries such as insurance advisors need to clear a few certification courses before they can start to sell. For property agents, the wait for the first paycheck may be a good half year down the road as clients only pay up when the deal is officially closed. There are also marketing advertisements to pay and other industry-related necessary cost to bear. Those with big backup finances have an obvious advantage here.</p>
<p>So, it is good to try out new opportunites but going in with eyes open is equally important. It will be disastrous to try out for a year without really making any headway in the full-commission  industry and  ending up worse off than before.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, there is no gain without risk here.<br />
<strong>It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves. Sir Edmund Hilary</strong></p>
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		<title>Seven Industries To Consider After Retrenchment</title>
		<link>http://www.transitioning.org/2011/12/31/7-industries-to-consider-after-retrenchment/</link>
		<comments>http://www.transitioning.org/2011/12/31/7-industries-to-consider-after-retrenchment/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 30 Dec 2011 22:22:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Number of View: 2319 This article was first posted here on July 2009. Written by: Gilbert Goh I have listed seven industries which the newly retrenched can try on to jumpstart hopefully into a  new career. Some of these industries have being tested by me and others were related to me by people in transition. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Number of View: 2319<br/><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2149" style="border: black 3px solid;" title="Garden" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Garden-300x225.jpg" alt="Garden" width="400" height="325" /></strong></p>
<p><em><strong>This article was first posted here on July 2009.</strong></em></p>
<p><strong>Written by: Gilbert Goh</strong></p>
<p>I have listed seven industries which the newly retrenched can try on to jumpstart hopefully into a  new career. Some of these industries have being tested by me and others were related to me by people in transition.</p>
<p>Hopefully, you can find something that will interest you to try it out first before turning it  wholeheartedly into a career.</p>
<p><strong>1. Commission work</strong></p>
<p>Commission work is  easy to start off but need alot of perseverance and efforts. Initial fiery efforts sometimes can only carried us so far but the rest is up to a dogged persistence to hang in there when the chips are down.</p>
<p>Commission jobs are like being your own boss as no one pays you a salary. In fact, sometimes, you pay your boss a cut of your commission and it is called over riding commission.</p>
<p>I am sure by now you know what commission jobs are. Property agents, insurance advisors and MLM agents all belong to this category and need to sell something before you pick up a cheque for your commission.</p>
<p>Strong marketing skills and good PR are all important criterion for those keen on doing commission jobs. Property and insurance agents all need  to pass stringent qualifying exams before they can start to sell. As it takes about a minimum of three months to pass all qualifying exams, it is encouraged that those who are  interested in this career have some savings to tide over a transitional period.</p>
<p>We have all heard of how some property and insurance agents earn six or even seven figure salary in their career. Do not be fooled as this group belongs to a minority. Most struggled as the industry is very competitive and  many drop out as they could not last the pace. Commission work also needs people with drive and passion. Those who make it are frequently people that are very motivated and driven.</p>
<p>I have been an insurance advisor for four years and fortunately have done well from 1994-1999 attaining the coveted Million dollar round table award twice. I have also travelled widely because of the industrial prizes that came with certain awards.   I could not persevere after four years as  I found the work boring and monotonous.  However, I have throughly enjoyed my four years&#8217;  journey  as an advisor as not only do I have a lot of freedom but it also freed me to do alot of personal stuff on my own. It was also the first time that I managed to get out of the 9-to-5 work cycle.</p>
<p>The insurance sector also introduced me to the power of positive thinking and goal setting.  Being a rather negative thinking person, I am glad that those motivational seminars that I sat through many hours  provided me the impetus to do things that I have never thought of doing before. For me, life has being an adventure since the day I became  an insurance advisor.</p>
<p><strong>2.  Teaching</strong></p>
<p><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-2140" style="margin: 7px; border: 2px solid #000000;" title="footstep" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/footstep-198x300.jpg" alt="footstep" width="198" height="300" />I was fortunate to be introduced to the teaching industry and was posted to China for a one-year term teaching English to the Chinese students in 2007-2008.</p>
<p>It was an eye opening industry as I have never taught before. Though there was a syllabus to follow, often, we have to improvish along the way.  I remembered I brought my class out to the football field one morning and taught them there. We shared alot during that period and that session somehow broke the ice for all of us.</p>
<p>I urged all who are transitioning to take up the opportunity to work abroad if offered that chance. It is not only ground breaking but also mind stretching.  While working abroad, you are exposed to a totally different culutre and your mindset tends to change and reshape.</p>
<p>If you are keen to teach English to foreign students, do take up a diploma in TESOL &#8211; teaching English to students of other languages.  It is almost a pre requsite due to a tightening of requirement by the educational ministry. A tiertiary education is also helpful here.</p>
<p>When I returned  to Singapore from Sydney last year, I continued  my teaching on a part time basis. Though teaching is lucrative, it is short term and often temporary. There is also no CPF here and no medical or other monetary benefits.</p>
<p>Most educational centres pay between $30 to $50 an hour depending on qualification and experience. One can earn around $4000 a month teaching about 5 hours a day.</p>
<p>A passion for teaching is  required here as sometimes it can be boring and the class may give you problem. Classroom management also is important here as students tend to &#8220;bully&#8221; teachers who are soft and lenient.  Sometimes, your class may give you enough problem to quit the industry halfway and totally.</p>
<p>Networking is important here as it is rather tough to get into closely knitted this industry without any referral. The two teaching contracts that I had were all recommendation made  by friends on my behalf who knew the bosses in the educational centres.</p>
<p>You can also try out relief teaching in our public schools. I heard that for experienced retired teachers, there is a need to fill up relief teachers in our schools here.  Relief teaching is also temporal and only pays upon work done. There is also an absence of other work benefits such as medical insurance or bonuses.</p>
<p><strong>3. Telemarketing</strong></p>
<p>Telemarketing is an industry that  is recession-proof. Any company will need telemarketing services to push through products to<img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-2141" style="margin: 7px; border: 2px solid #000000;" title="42-16248525" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/bowl-of-fruits-nice-295x300.jpg" alt="42-16248525" width="295" height="300" /> the market. It is mostly paid hourly and rates of between $7 to $10 an hour are commonly quoted.</p>
<p>I have done a few telemarketing contracts during my transitioning period from 2000-2001.  I enjoyed the work as I liked  talking and interacting with people. Some even provide a one-day course to orientate the new worker to the industry. Many simply allow you to start work once you have sign on the dotted line.</p>
<p>Most telemarketing work here involves marketing of the financial products such as credit cards or lines. Suffice to say in any marketing job, there is always the sales target to meet. Some companies pay a small commission on top of the hourly rates to attract workers to meet the sales quota.</p>
<p>Most people take telemarketing job as  temporary work and I do not blame them. The work can be strenuous and monotonous. You also need to talk alot and competition among fellow telemarketeers do not allow one to be too cordial in the work place.</p>
<p>There are many telemarketing companies in the market and one needs to search for them in the internet to surface out a few of the bigger better ones.</p>
<p>People who are retrenched and  are desperate may want to consider taking up telemarketing as a stop gap measure until you find something better.  It is better than sitting at home waiting for the next job. A take home pay of around $1500 a month for rookies is achievable here.</p>
<p><strong>4.  Tuition</strong></p>
<p>This is a  traditional bread and butter job for many undergraduates and retired teachers. Many could make a few thousand dollars a month just by giving tuition to a crazy population. As many as 80% of our studying population have some form of additional learning services that go beyond their normal teaching curriculum.</p>
<p>The starting off however can be rather difficult as it is an industry that operates by word of mouth. If you are good and responsible, you will gain credibility and popularity very fast.</p>
<p>Rates of $30 an hour for teaching to a primary school kid with travelling is achievable if you are good.  Those tutoring A level students can fetch up to $70 an hour especially if it is very near to exams.</p>
<p>It is an industry that favours the females as many parents are cautious of male teachers handling their children at home.</p>
<p>Some people  in  transition  I know have tried giving  tuition with variant result.  I guess alot depend on how passionate the person is in helping the child furthering his academic potential.</p>
<p>Moreover, during holiday season, most kids switch off from tuition and your income nosedives during that period.</p>
<p>In my opinion, giving tuition may only provide you some form of monetary incentive  but can never replace your main source of income unless you are really good at it.  An income of around $300-$500 is achievable if you have a few students to start off with.</p>
<p>Alternately, you can try out at tuition centres first though the starting pay is pathetic. Hourly rates of between $20-$30 is often quoted and you have to handle a class of between 5 to 15 students in the centre.</p>
<p>Personally, I have not try giving tuition to school going children  as I am not keen in this industry at all.</p>
<p><strong>5.  Laborious menial work</strong></p>
<p><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-2143" style="margin: 7px; border: 2px solid #000000;" title="ln-sg-workers" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/ln-sg-workers.jpg" alt="ln-sg-workers" width="200" height="198" />I have heard that most kopitiam and food stalls need workers and they always have vacancy due to the work nature and shift hours. For an eight hour shift, rates of between $40 to $50 is attainable.</p>
<p>The job  is laborious and is considered dirty work. You not only need to clean tables but also even drag rubbish bags to the rubbish point.</p>
<p>I feel that  this kind of work appeals more to the matured blue collared workers who have not much choices in their career due either to their education or work skills.</p>
<p>There is also a need for drivers both in the class 4 and 5 category. As the work is tough and  often involves carrying goods up and down the vehicles, the person needs to be fit and hardy.</p>
<p>I know that some retrenched people take up cab driving but with different success. Some manage to persevere whereas others give up. As Singaporeans tighten up and many switch to public transport, cab drivers need to work doubly hard to make ends meet.</p>
<p>Moreover, new drivers need to pay up a refundable deposit of around $1000  before they could enrol for the taxi driving course. This is a deterrant measure and many people simply fail to cough up  a thousand dollars to enrol for the course.</p>
<p><strong>6. Security work</strong></p>
<p>Many people I know also try their hand at security work after failing to  land a job for a while after being retrenched.  Frankly, I see nothing wrong in that and it remains a personal decision for those in transition.</p>
<p>One needs to take a 3-month course and some c ompanies are willing to let you do it for free in return for a 6-month bond.</p>
<p>The security industry is always in demand and there are several thousand vacancies right now. PMETs can go for the supervisory security course affliated with WDA and can earn close to $1800 as a security spervisor.</p>
<p>One major bugbear of the security industry is the working hours.  Most contracts need you to work a 12-hour shift with an off day a week. Those who need to go for worship services in church have problem settling down in this industry. The pay is also nothing to shout about.  A new security officer can earn about $1300 a month working a 12-hoour shift cycle.  For those working in 8-hour shift, the pay can be as low as $900 a month.</p>
<p>People in transition considering security work needs to be reminded that people with criminal records are usually disallowed from such industry. Moreover, some who have little education have failed in their security industrial tests as they could not comprehend the course details properly.</p>
<p>Security companies also are infamous for the way that they fail to pay their workers promptly and correctly due to a cashflow problem.</p>
<p>I would encourage those considering  security work as a career to sign up for the bigger companies such as Cisco or Premier Security. They are better run and managed. The odds are that they will not fail to pay promptly or correctly.</p>
<p><strong>7. Part time temp work<img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-2144" style="margin: 7px; border: 3px solid #000000;" title="mountain picture" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/mountain-picture-300x200.jpg" alt="mountain picture" width="300" height="200" /></strong></p>
<p>Part time work is always a sought after service especially in a recession. Companies prefer to provide work only for a designated period and  they do not have to provide for any medical or other extra monetary allowances.</p>
<p>Adminsitrative part time work is more popular with women workers and  rates of anything between $7 to $10 an hour is achievable.  One women friend I know likes to do temp work as she gets to try different work environment and industry.</p>
<p>There is also less politics here as no one cares to engage politics with a temp worker. Some companies also pay temp workers higher as compared to permanent workers due to the short term work nature.</p>
<p>Of course, the flip side of temp work is that there is a lack of benefits and more importantly minimal work security. After every assignment, one has to wait for the next one and unless one is financially sound the wait could be a long and weary one.</p>
<p>Many people I know are doing some form of temp work while in transition. It is a form of income  for many thoughis  less stable than a permanent job. A temp worker can earn close to $1500 &#8211; $1800 a month performing clerical work.</p>
<p>One can get more money from doing direct temp work for a company  than getting it from an agency as there will be a cut in money provided for the job deducted by the agency.</p>
<p>I hope that I have provided some form of asssitance to those who are  considering what to do next immediately after being retrenched. More importantly, before taking the plunge, it is good to consider what you are passionate about.  Often, those who last longer tend to do something that they like.</p>
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		<title>7 Ways To Come out of Prolonged Unemployment</title>
		<link>http://www.transitioning.org/2011/10/21/7-ways-to-coming-out-of-prolonged-unemployment/</link>
		<comments>http://www.transitioning.org/2011/10/21/7-ways-to-coming-out-of-prolonged-unemployment/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 20 Oct 2011 19:51:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.transitioning.org/?p=3202</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Number of View: 7078 This article first appeared here on Aug 29, 2009 7 Ways To Come Out Of Prolonged Unemployment Written by: Gilbert Goh Many readers I met have been out of work for many months. Many also experience joblessness  lasting more than a year. One I met was jobless for more than 2 [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Number of View: 7078<br/><p style="text-align: center;"><strong><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3207" title="man head an table" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/man-head-an-table.jpg" alt="man head an table" width="416" height="337" /></strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><em>This article first appeared here on Aug 29, 2009</em></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>7 Ways To Come Out Of Prolonged Unemployment</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: left;"><strong>Written by: Gilbert Goh </strong></p>
<p>Many readers I met have been out of work for many months. Many also experience joblessness  lasting more than a year. One I met was jobless for more than 2 years surviving on his savings and doing odd jobs along the way. As a guide, people who are out of work for more than 9 to 12 months are deemed to belong to this prolonged unemployment group. Aparently, there is a sizeable proportion of the working population that belongs to this troubled group &#8211; mostly in their 40s and 50s.</p>
<p>As many as 50,000 people who are out of work may have fallen into this jobless category causing much headache to the government.</p>
<p>The technical word for this group of workers is long termed unemployed (LTU). Many of them are mainly retrenched workers, axed during the recent global financial crisis, and came  saddled with obsolete skills and have difficulty adjusting to a new economy.  Many will  need to upgrade their skills to prepare themselves for a second career with lower salary expectation and having to start all over again like a new kid on the block.</p>
<p>Having stayed jobless for 18 months during the Sars period personally, I could empathsize with the LTU&#8217;s  situation. You send out hundreds of job applications weekly and interviews that you attended all turned out fruitless. Every time you don&#8217;t hear from any employer after another interview, your self confidence took a step back.  Your head hung lower and you wonder whether if you are destined to stay jobless forever. That thought did come to me as the world seems to go pass me. It was a tough period and people in prolonged unemployment needs alot of resolve and mental strength to hang on.  Self esteem is at an all time low and it takes alot of self confidence to ignite the engine again. The mind also works slower when one is out of work for a long period.</p>
<p>However, readers who belong in this category  can find solace in my situation as I have moved out of this tag and are very much a better person after that awful period.  I have learned to be more flexible than before and very opportunistic. It is as if my honing radar is very switched on now to look out for opportunistics.  I remembered I took on a life-changing opportunity to work and teach in China only after a short discussion with my wife. Prior to that, I would not even entertain such thoughts more out of not wanting to come out of my comfort zone than anything else. I also became more resilient as a result of that prolonged period of joblessness. Something happened during that period and I could feel that something inside of me has changed. I am sure many people in prolonged unemployment will agree with me on this.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, people in a state of prolonged unemployment tends to be comfortable wherever they are. It is not that they want to stay unemployed, it is just that the whole mental and physical being have adjusted to being not working. They may also follow a routine that after a long while may take alot of discipline to  come out of it.  Lets face it &#8211; if possible we won&#8217;t want to work as it can be boring and stressful especially in our suffocating working culture. Some who left their former work places in acriminous circumstances also have this phobia to return to the work force. If possible, they want to enjoy the peace and quiet at home living simply with whatever savings they have so far.</p>
<p>I have listed seven ways to come out of prolonged unemployment. For some of us, unless we are desperate financially, we will take our time to return to the work force. Prolonged unemployment can also be bad for our social well being as no one can feel that they are plugged into the society if they continue to live their life alone at home all day. While we work we also intreact with our colleagues enhancing our social well being and self esteem. Nothing beats doing a hard day&#8217;s work and being able to see the fruits of our work at the end of the month when we stand behind the ATM machine.</p>
<p>LTUs need to believe in themselves once more or else no one else will believe in them. Alot needs to come from the inside.</p>
<p><strong>1. Make a decision to return to the work force</strong></p>
<p>Though jobless for 18 months, I have taken up several short term contracts doing telemarketing. Lasting between one to three months, such jobs have given me much needed financial resources and broke the monotony of staying at home. It also helps to keep your mind in shape.</p>
<p>People in prolonged unemployment can look for short term work to get by &#8211; at least to get out of the house for a period on a regular basis. Many short term work can  be located through telemarketing companies, recruit agencies and newspaper advertisement.</p>
<p>I got two telemarketing contracts from the newspaper advertisement and proved to be a life saver for me as if not I would be a living cocoon stucked at home.</p>
<p>A reader in prolonged unemployment situation  told me that he helped out at his mother&#8217;s egg stall regularly and this has helped him used up  the free time  wisely. The time spent  at the stall also helped him to bond more with his ageing mother.</p>
<p>So, make a decision to return to the work force and doing short term contract job may be the start that you need before taking off. Very often, what the mind sets out to do will be accompanied by active participation of the body and emotion.</p>
<p><strong>2. Know what you want for yourself</strong></p>
<p>Our government has always advocated that the unemployed  go for upgrading skills to be more job-ready but what is the right training programme for someone who is jobless already for a year or two?</p>
<p>Our retraining programmes, such as those initiated by e2i and CDCs, are all heavily subsidised and many merely pay not more than 10% of the course fee.  Training allowance is also avaluable to those who are in need and it seems that this is a heaven-send initiaitve benefitting the unemployed.</p>
<p>However, to my shock, I realised that many who  attended our retraining programmes are actually  not really jobless. Many training programmes are attended however by workers sent by their companies as there are no work to be done at the work places. Workers attending such upgrading courses have their pay tab picked up by the government saving companies from retrenching them in the process as there is no work to be done at the companies.</p>
<p>LTUs can still benefit from retraining programmes by asking themselves what do they really want to do for a second career? At the age of 40s to 50s, many may  have realised that the best money making days may be behind us. We can only hope that we can do something that we like now. Work should now become a joy rather than a chore. Though some of us still have to support our family, one should adjust to a lower salary range and scout out whatever limited opportunities available in the job market.</p>
<p>Do not follow the crowd when it comes to attending upgrading courses. I see some readers all rushing into one particular course that has a long waiting list only to regret taking it later. Many simply sign up for the course when their friends are also doing it. Many have also used it as a networking opportunity.</p>
<p>I wanted to be in the social service all along and when I decided to upgrade it was not a difficult decision for me. I worked part time in a family social service and tooked on a certificate in counselling &#8211; sponsored by the company.</p>
<p>I later worked towards a diploma in psychology &#8211; also sponsored by another company. After that, I earned my graduate diploma in social science on my own never wavering from my dream. Soon after, I founded a non profit organisationing  &#8211; Transitioning.org,  helping many to transit during unemployment. It is now a registered NPO with the registrar of societies.</p>
<p>LTUs need to spend some time going through what they really want for themselves. They need to go through what is available in the market and look for a match. When the whole process is to help in the pursuit of a dream never can dissuade the person from achieving his passion.</p>
<p>Readers who have difficulty finding their passion can email me and I see how I can help you here.</p>
<p><strong>3. Get family involvement</strong></p>
<p>My family helps me alot during the long period that I was unemployed. They stood by me and never ceased to push me out to take up any job. I know many wives who will nag and harass their husbands to take up a job even though they dislike them. Some husbands have no choice but to desperately hunt for a job just to avoid their wives&#8217; nagging routine.</p>
<p>LTUs should discuss with their family members their life goal &#8211; what they want to do and how they can accomplish them along the way. Unless husbands talk to their family members about  their plan,  one can&#8217;t really blame them for mistaking that he is just a bump that refuses to work!</p>
<p>Suffice to say, a family that is supporting and encouraging, can help to put an LTU back on his feet again faster than one who has poor support.</p>
<p>With a low self esteem and some  not even have enough left in their tank to push on for another mile, family support is vital for LTUs to get their feet back again in the work force.</p>
<p><strong>4. Find support from fellow LTUs</strong></p>
<p>The human race is a particular species that find solace in gathering together. They can progress remarkably well if they can find the relevant support from the community. Their problem seems lighter and easier to solve if they can that they are not alone with their own problem. Many others have also face the same issue and have overcome them before.</p>
<p>I was fortunate to have strong support from my own church group who never failed to encourage me along the way. There were alsosome friends that I count count on for morale and financial support. To these days, I have never forgotten about their generiosity and they were one of the main reason why I could escape unscathed from those dark days. Of course, it took a lot of humility for me to open up my situation to them. One key element for LTUs to find support is to humble themselves first and not allow the ego to take precedence here.  When you do your part the rest will ultimately follow. That is the law of the nature I guess.</p>
<p>Too many fellow LTUs I found tend to keep their problem to themselves. Perhaps, it is our Asian culture that inhibits sharing of our problem to others. Of course, many well meaning friends when you share with them your problem,  also took the wrong discourse and dispensed solutions to them. All LTUs simply need is a good listening ear and that the friend is always there whenever he needs to unload off his chest.</p>
<p><strong>5. Learn to find your life&#8217;s mission</strong></p>
<p>As LTUs normally are in their 40s &#8211; 50s age group, I am sure that many want to do something that left a ever lasting legacy behind &#8211; there are simply not many days left when we will depart from this world. Like many here, I am not really into money making when I gew older.</p>
<p>Suffice to say, some will not have this luxury of choosing something that they like to do as financially some will need to take up any job to get by for their family members.  For this group, survival over takes their intrinsic interest work wise.</p>
<p>I want to do something intangible &#8211; stuff that touches people lives. Call me sentimental or silly but there are things that I do these days that do not make my professional resume looks good anymore.</p>
<p>By running this non profit organisation full time, I have not drawn an income for many months and in fact I have to give away cash to people who are more in need than me. Many of us attached our work to an income and this is only right. we all should be paid for an honest day of work. I have also duplicated some of the things that I have done in Singapore to Sydney right now. We just started a support group in Sydney on 28 Aug and it was a dream came true. Though the group only has four participants on the first session, I  resolved to ensure that the group will carry on and hopefully more people in transition will join us.</p>
<p>There will be those out there who may want to do some meaningful voluntary work that does not pay at all or simply paying peanuts. Of course, some breadwinners will be unable to work in such jobs due to practical reasons.</p>
<p>There are many needs out there that require someone who dares to sacrifice themselves so that they will left a legacy behind. Too many of us live our life too flippantly when we can, through some serious planning, curve out a meaningful career for ourselves benefitting many people along the way.</p>
<p><strong>6. Do things that help boost the self esteem</strong></p>
<p>I  understand that many LTUs battle depression and often a low esteem. Some have alot of  self doubts about their abilities and a few may need lot s of affirmation before they can go back to the work force. Many who are being retrenched often blame themselves for not doing a good job when this is furthest from the truth. Some employers have no choice but to retrench staff as there is no work to be done. Marketing and sales staff are always the first to go and the &#8220;last in first out&#8221; philosophy often happens to new staff. Questioning your capabilities when you are being laid off is both unnecessary and self harming. The soonest one stop the self harming game the better it will be for the recently laid off. If not, they will wallow in self pity and join those in the LTU group.</p>
<p>As they wake up daily to a meaningless routine and staying very home-bound, many even hate to go downstairs for fear that some may enquire on their work status. Every well meaing enquiry frim a good neighobur is a stab to their self image and confidence.</p>
<p>I have met many LTUs in my work here to realise that the longer one stays unemployed, the worse the situation gets. Some even doubts their capability when offered a job &#8211; rejecting the offer in the process!</p>
<p>LTUs need to consciously do things to boost up their self esteem. For example, some I know go for the various retraining courses to stay in tune with the market. I find that this is a wonderful way to keep one&#8217;s mood in the high as the person is out of the house regularly and he also mixes around with other people in transition. There is support when you mix with people regularly. We are never meant to be alone all by ourselves.</p>
<p>During my period of prolonged joblessness,  I also wrote alot and to date, at least one hundred articles were printed in most of the major newspapers&#8217; forum columns in Singapore.  I also took time to write a book &#8220;How to survive unemployment&#8221; and am embarking on my second book now.  Thus, we all can make good use of the extra time on hand to do something that we have no time to do all along.</p>
<p>In this aspect, e2i has done a wonderful job of allowing people in transition to attend their many short courses almost free of charge. A friend went for a one-day executive worshop for PMETs (professional, managerial, executive and technician) and continued with other sort term courses that lasted a few days. He also got to know others in transition and have being able to gain from their support.</p>
<p><strong>7.  Set a deadline on when to go back to the workforce</strong></p>
<p>For LTUs,  it is always good to set a deadline on when you can get back to the workforce. Often, what the mind sets out to do is accompanied by active participation of the body and emotion. For example, if you are jobless for a year, you can set a time frame of another three months of intense job searching so that your vision of landing a job may materialise within the three months.</p>
<p><strong>Conclusion</strong></p>
<p>It is hope that  LTUs can find some solace from this article and learn to move on with their life. It is never good to be jobless for too long. It hurts our pocket, esteem and also may hamper our family&#8217;s abiility to support us.  There is a limit to how long our family can hold on when we suffer from prolonged unemployment. Ourchildren will also find it difficult to respect us when we daily stay at home and face the four walls.</p>
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		<title>How To Tell Your Family When You Are Being Laid Off</title>
		<link>http://www.transitioning.org/2011/09/11/how-to-tell-your-family-that-you-have-lost-your-job/</link>
		<comments>http://www.transitioning.org/2011/09/11/how-to-tell-your-family-that-you-have-lost-your-job/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 11 Sep 2011 10:13:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.transitioning.org/?p=2216</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Number of View: 3230&#160; This post first appeared here in Aug 2009 Written By: Gilbert Goh Many people I know have difficulty telling their family members when they received news that  they are going to be retrenched. The agony of losing their job and the trauma of having to inform their loved ones stress them to the point [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Number of View: 3230<br/><p>&nbsp;</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><strong><em><a href="http://www.transitioning.org/2011/09/11/how-to-tell-your-family-that-you-have-lost-your-job/forest/" rel="attachment wp-att-9008"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-9008" title="Forest" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Forest-300x225.jpg" alt="Forest" width="400" height="325" /></a></em></strong></p>
<p><strong><em>This post first appeared here in Aug 2009</em></strong></p>
<p><strong>Written By: Gilbert Goh</strong></p>
<p>Many people I know have difficulty telling their family members when they received news that  they are going to be retrenched.</p>
<p>The agony of losing their job and the trauma of having to inform their loved ones stress them to the point of a break down. Some primary breadwinners even lie to their spouses that they are still working when they are actually out of work.  They continue to put on their tie and left their home for office as per normal. They then hang out in the library or Macdonald. It is a very sad state of affair if husbands could not tell their wives directly that they are out of work without suffering an emotional heart attack.</p>
<p>It goes without saying that men holding higher offices have much more difficulty revealing the dreadful news of their retrenchment to their spouses as it means a deep dent to their  ego plus their pocket. An impending downgrading of socisl status also means that men feel that they have let their family down.</p>
<p>This is understandable as many have loans to pay and often they are taken with two incomes in mind. When one income is taken out, naturally, the surviving working member will feel the pressure of having to pay for all the household bills and loans. So, many surviving income earner feel the stress and react adversely to the news adding on to the pressure feel by the newly retrenched.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2244" style="border: 3px solid #000000;" title="man with head in hands" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/man-with-head-in-hands1.jpg" alt="man with head in hands" width="385" height="185" /></p>
<p><strong>Emotional Trauma of Unemployment</strong></p>
<p>Unless one has substantial savings in the bank account, primary bread winners will mostly face an emotional battle to reveal the dark truth to their loved ones. This is more so for men who often earn more and are dependent on for household bills and other loan repayment. The role of the primary breadwinner changes now and this often stress out the surviving income earner. Both husband and wife now need to sit down and talk out especially on  the financial issues affecting the household. Sometimes, it may even lead to a downgrade of housing and lifestyle. Cars may need to be sold off to leesen out the loan repayment and maid has to be laid off. Without discussing properly and leaving things to chance, the marriage is doomed for major repercussion.</p>
<p>A friend of mine who is going to be retrenched soon has yet to inform his wife about his impending job loss. He is waiting for the right moment and has meanwhile dropped her alot of hints hoping that the pre-warning will soften the blow when the news are broken to her.</p>
<p>Another friend has informed his wife about his job loss but was prevented from telling his in-laws to save face. As the in-laws are all doing well, the wife felt that informing them will somehow tarnish their good image. This friend lamented that  he felt lousy whenever his parents in law asked him about his job and he has to lie as if he is still working. His wife&#8217;s constant harassment about his job search also stressed him out alot and he has told me that it is worse than not having a job.</p>
<p>He has to take on any job more to satisfy his wife&#8217;s constant pressure than anything else. This is so wrong and unnecessary.</p>
<p>So how can we best break the bad news to our loved ones when  the company has informed us of the job loss?</p>
<p><strong>Ways To Inform Your Spouse</strong></p>
<p>Firstly, never feel that you are at fault at work. Your job loss is not tied to your work performance.  It is the ailing economy that is the cause of your  retrenchment. Your reaction to the job loss will impact how you feel and may even affect your re employment opportunities. Someone who takes to retrenchment positively will approach the situation with the right attitude and often picks himself up faster than one who reacts negatively.</p>
<p>Many people also feel lousy when they are axed.  Some take it out on their family members especially when they feel emotional about the loss initially.</p>
<p>Next, prepare to  inform your loved ones at the appropriate time. It is good to drop strong hints along the way but there is always the need to inform our spouses directly.  They need to hear from us however ugly it may be.</p>
<p>Couples need to have the aptitude to go through a relationship in both good and bad time.  Many only go through a relationship when things are doing well but turn the other way when things go awry.</p>
<p>I have witnessed how spouses, especially women, gave their husbands the cold shoulder when they announced the retrenchment news. Some even pressured them to take up any job just to avoid  gossiping from  relatives and neighbours.</p>
<p><strong>Bad News Test Of One&#8217;s Marriage </strong></p>
<p><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-2248" style="margin: 7px; border: 3px solid #000000;" title="couple having fun" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/couple-having-fun1-300x196.jpg" alt="couple having fun" width="300" height="196" />I find that this is so wrong and spouses need to adopt an encouraging approach when  their men break the bad news to them. It is also a good opportunity for the couple to hang in and support one another when the chips are down. Relationships often come out stronger when the couple manages to emerge out  a fiery situation such as an illness or a retrenchment.</p>
<p>Often, it is also a test of one&#8217;s relationship thermometer. How much you have invested in the relationship will be   tested when there is any setback which will disturb the harmony of the household. Those who have spend time and effort in building up the relationship often  find that they have a supportive spouse. by their side when things go wrong. As they have sow in the marriage when things are well, they will reap back much more in return when there is a need for it.</p>
<p>Fortunately, I have also seen how some wives stood by their men when they  were jobless. There was not a word of malice in their tone throughout their unemployment period and it was a journey that they decided to go through together. As the greadwinner role switched, wives did not chided their husbands for not bringing in the beacon which may further dampen the self esteem of the guy. They decided to tighten their belt and go for the jugular and downgrade their lifestyle. The kids could also see that even though they go out less often than before, the love shown at home was love personified. Action speaks louder than words here.</p>
<p>So, when the time comes for you to annouce the  bad news to your spouse, grind your teeth and  bravely break it out. It is not good to face job loss alone and be isolated in the process. We all need our family to provide us the support.</p>
<p><strong>Conclusion </strong></p>
<p>Frankly, the aftermath is more important as you go through in detail how you are going to organise your finances and left nothing to chance. Try to cover every ground so that there is no misunderstanding.</p>
<p>Moreover, any other adverse news such as a sickness or death of a loved one will also affect a good relationship. It is when we go through a bad patch together that we can grow as a family. What good is it when a family only goes through life with us when things are good?</p>
<p>So never deny the positive effect of bad news. Losing your job may be the best thing that can happen to you and your family. It will cement the love that you have for one another and your relationship will be sweeter than before.</p>
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		<title>Facing Joblessness With Confidence &#8211; Be Prepared</title>
		<link>http://www.transitioning.org/2011/06/21/facing-joblessness-with-confidence-be-prepared/</link>
		<comments>http://www.transitioning.org/2011/06/21/facing-joblessness-with-confidence-be-prepared/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Jun 2011 20:40:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Gilbert Goh</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Emotional Support]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Surviving unemployment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[age]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cleaner]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://transitioning.org/?p=45</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Number of View: 3770 This article was reproduced here in Jan 09. Many who visited this blog site I believe will have been  retrenched or preparing for retrenchment. However, it is not the end of the world yet. The unemployed need to prepare themselves well if they are retrenched. Those with severance package definitely have the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Number of View: 3770<br/><p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3601" title="local faces of workers" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/local-faces-of-workers.jpg" alt="local faces of workers" width="450" height="275" /></p>
<p><em>This article was reproduced here in Jan 09.</em></p>
<p>Many who visited this blog site I believe will have been  retrenched or preparing for retrenchment. However, it is not the end of the world yet.</p>
<p>The unemployed need to prepare themselves well if they are retrenched. Those with severance package definitely have the upper hand to wait out the prolonged down turn. Those without will face the future with less confidence.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, staying prepared for retrenchment even if one is working now help.</p>
<p>Learn to network more now as retrenchment will hit you without giving you any early warning. Many feel a sense of loss and disengagement when they are laid off. Sometimes shock soon follow the newly retrenched and we all are better off staying lean and prepared for the worse.</p>
<p><strong>Networking </strong></p>
<p><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-3648" style="margin: 5px; border: 3px solid #000000;" title="happy young faces" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/happy-young-faces-165x300.jpg" alt="happy young faces" width="265" height="250" />Networking often helps one to face up to retrenchment. For example, if your company is not doing well, it is good to meet up with the suppliers or the clients. Often, they are the ones who will know you more as you have serve them all this while. Sounding them out that you may need their help in the event that you will be retrenched certainly give you a sense of confidence that you have open up a back door for future engagement.</p>
<p>A friend of mine who is an engineer in Sydney was retrenched last year November due to a merger. He was given one month&#8217;s notice and access to office facilities after that to help himself to locate for a new job. An employment consultant was also provided for the group of ten retrenched workers to help them with job counselling.</p>
<p>Fortunately, three weeks after been laid off, he managed to find a job that actually belonged to his previous company&#8217;s customer. As his track record was good, he managed to get the job after one interview. He also had a pay rasie as the profile was more of a consultant than an engineer. He was of course estatic.</p>
<p><strong>Skills Upgrading</strong></p>
<p>The next thing that you can do is to map out your skills set on a piece of paper and narrow down your job search. Many retrenched workers I felt aim for jobs in all the wrong  places. If you want to teach, go and apply for jobs in the MOE or the many private schools here. If you want to work in the construction sector aims to apply for jobs within that sector. Do not direct your job search all over the shop. Be focused on your search and if necessary talk to a career coach about your skill sets.</p>
<p>Many in their urgency and desperation try to apply for all advertised jobs from newspaper advertisements and fail to get even an interview as their experience and skill set do not commensurate with the job requirements. So remember to apply for jobs that fall within your skills set and experience. Though the hunt may be longer, the interview if granted may go through smoothly as this is the kind of work that you are comfortable with and an interviewer will be able to tell that you are the right candidate from the way you responded to their questions. Applying for a job anyhow will only frustrate you and waste your efforts.</p>
<p><strong>Financial Planning<img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-3650" style="margin: 5px; border: 3px solid #000000;" title="money face" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/money-face-300x225.jpg" alt="money face" width="300" height="225" /> </strong></p>
<p>Do also prepare a financial plan even before you are laid off. Try to check how much you have in your account especially your CPF so that you know how long the balance sum can pay for your home mortgages. The first thing that people are worried about is their home mortgages as this is our basic need &#8211; according to Maslow Theory. We all have some basic needs such as housing and food and when these needs are compromised we all suffer some sense of instability. So do go through your budgetting with your loved ones in the event that you are laid off. Staying prepared is key here when unemployment looms.</p>
<p>How long can you last given the current account balance that you have? If one is laid off, how much can the family hold on with your spouse&#8217;s sole income? All this need to be sorted out preferably before someone is being retrenched so that you are well prepared.</p>
<p>We all can face joblessness with confidence if we have planned out what we should do after that. Have a plan A and even plan B so that your unemployment phase is not a period of desperate frantic job hunting heading nowhere.</p>
<p>As we all do not have a safety net here in the form of social welfare payout when we are laid off, it makes sense to properly prepare for our finances now for those who are still employed. It will be too late to plan properly when we face unemployment.</p>
<p><strong>Talk To Your Spouse</strong></p>
<p><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-3652" style="margin: 5px; border: 3px solid #000000;" title="happy family" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/happy-family.jpg" alt="happy family" width="251" height="251" />Speak to your spouse when the pink slip is being delivered to you. Prepare her well in advance if possible  so that she is able to cope when it comes. Women are generally more insecure when her husband &#8211; normally the main income earner, loses his job.  There are the bills to pay and mortgage repayment have to go on even if income is not coming in. It can be a destabilising period for the family and also a good test of how resilient your family is in time of trouble.  If your family is able to withstand the pressures of someone losing his job, it can withstand any other storm that will come in the future. Many families pull through the  tough period and emerged much more stronger and firmer. Their relationship also improves considerably after clearing  a major crisis.</p>
<p>Go through your job search planning with her so that she is assured that you are doing your best to be rehired. Continue the family activities as normal as possible so as not to disrupt any current activities.</p>
<p>If there is a need to cut down on services or even lay off the maid, speak to the whole family calmly and explain the reasons why you are doing it.  Family members will understand why you are taking such course of action and will appreciate that you bother to take time to talk to them. Family who stays  strong together to tackle things calmly   will tend to emerge victorious in the end. If possible, minimise conflict and maximise communication during this period.</p>
<p><strong>Seek Help If Necessary</strong></p>
<p>If you think that the situation has overwhelmed you after a while,  learn to seek help if possible. There are church workers, counsellors and even good friends whom you can count on during this tough period.</p>
<p>This is not the best time to let pride deters you from asking people for assistance.  It is also a good time to build up the  relationship with others when you approach them for a listening ear.</p>
<p>Who knows,  your friend will seek your help in future when they are faced with the similar problem. We are all build to help one another here and no man is born to live on an island. By facing your situation all alone, you are also exposed to negative and desperate thoughts .</p>
<p>So lower your pride and seek help.</p>
<p><strong>Conclusion</strong></p>
<p>Staying calm and patient is probably the best anedote  for those who are still currently unemployed. Though the worst may be over for our economy, I know that jobs are still hard to come by. For every job that is advertised on the newspaper, there are at least a hundred applications.  It will take a while before one get rehired. The mind needs to be regularly psyched up through reading and positive self talk.</p>
<p>An average  waiting period of between 6 to 9 months  before one gets rehired is not surprising.</p>
<p>This may sound like a cliche &#8211; but learn to treat this period as a test of your inner man. There is no better time to  mould a man&#8217;s character than when he is  being place in a difficult situation. After a prolonged period of grinding and rubbing, the person will come out fresher and stronger both in thoughts and action. He is not the same again after going through the trial of fire.</p>
<p>Never dispise the period when you are in the  valley as it is in there that we all learn how to grow. It may change you life as it has changed mine.</p>
<p>Gilbert Goh</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
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		<title>How To Maintain Family Harmony During Unemployment</title>
		<link>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/10/03/how-to-handle-familys-expectation-during-unemployment/</link>
		<comments>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/10/03/how-to-handle-familys-expectation-during-unemployment/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 03 Oct 2010 04:45:49 +0000</pubDate>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.transitioning.org/?p=1695</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Number of View: 5196 This post first appeared here on 26 June, 2009 How To Maintain Family Harmony During Unemployment Written by: Gilbert Goh Unemployment is known to have  hit the whole household hard and some families have  disintegrated when the effects of joblessness are not handled properly. Finances remain the top-most concern of most families  when the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Number of View: 5196<br/><p style="text-align: left;"><strong> </strong><em>This post first appeared here on 26 June, 2009</em></p>
<p><strong>How To Maintain Family Harmony During Unemployment</strong></p>
<p><strong>Written by: Gilbert Goh</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/asian_fanily2.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-13894" style="margin: 3px; border: black 3px solid;" title="asian_fanily2" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/asian_fanily2-300x200.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="200" /></a></p>
<p>Unemployment is known to have  hit the whole household hard and some families have  disintegrated when the effects of joblessness are not handled properly. Finances remain the top-most concern of most families  when the main breadwinner lost his job. </p>
<p>More men lost their jobs during the previous recession than women and this has severe implication at the home front. It is usually acceptable for women to lose their jobs and stay at home as housewives but the Asian husbands could not do  the same when they are been laid off. Cultural stereotyping means that there are not many Asian husbands hanging around at home operating as house-dads.</p>
<p> Handling the fragile self-esteem of the unemployed is also crucial as many men felt that they have lost the respect of their family members and will feel particularly sensitive on this aspect.  Husbands will also  feel  discouraged  as they felt that they have let their family down and will try all ways to   quickly get re-employed.</p>
<p>This is  one main reason why many Singaporean men now do not mind a job posting overseas so that they can get back to providing for their family again even though they live separately from their family members. </p>
<p><em>Asian men are used to  defining their main role as a provider within the family unit and failing to keep up with that sterotyped image has caused them to feel sidelined and unappreciated.</em></p>
<p> Our young children will also    feel the side effects of our unemployment and  are  unable to articulate their grievances properly for fear of being reprimanded if they do so.  Many are  also not consulted before their parents implement cost-cutting measures  within the family.</p>
<p>I remembered we have to lay off the maid when I was jobless and my daughter felt the loss as  she is rather close  to  her. I felt  bad but there was no way that we can hold on to the maid without suffering a financial crunch. It was a decision that haunted me for quite a while as I felt that I have let her down as a dad and provider.</p>
<p>Of course, unemployment has turned out to be a blessing in disguise  for some families.  Many families have shown their support and rally around someone who is jobless further strengthening their relationship. It is during a crisis that people treasure  the love and concern of their loved ones.</p>
<p><strong><em>*Wives &#8211; this is your best time to show love to your jobless husbands in a most practical manner and it does not come often!</em></strong></p>
<p>I have also heard of many men, during  their transitional period, spending more time with their family members as they do not have to work late and rush through deadlines and projects. I have also found that unemployment  is a good time for many of us to re- evaluate our life goals and check if we are heading in the right direction. Many of us  simply sail along in life without having the chance to do any stock-taking for ourselves and that&#8217;s probably why some leave the world in deep regret for not pursuing after  life-long dreams.</p>
<p>Singaporeans are guilty of over working in many ways and that is the reason why some  have chosen to migrate overseas for a more balanced lifestyle when they could not keep up with the frantic pace at work. It is also meaningless to place  all our energy at work and missing out on building up a relationship with our loved ones.</p>
<p><strong>Jobless Husband Lost Role As Provider</strong></p>
<p>Many families have downgraded their homes when the breadwinner got  laid off  and could not keep up with their mortgage repayment. Many  also became bankrupt and suffered financial ruin with devastating consequences.</p>
<p>It will take a very strong man to overcome such severe setback as we have commonly used our financial achievement to measure how successful we have been.</p>
<p>Home foreclosure is  common during a recession and unfortunately can be a very traumatic event for the whole family. It is during this crucial period that many families start to crack under the financial stress.  If the family manages to stay together during this awful period, there is every chance that they will make it for the long haul.</p>
<p>However, it is  seen as an ultimate shame for the husband if he could not  fulfill his basic primary  role as a provider for his family. Losing the family&#8217;s shelter is also a deep stab to a man&#8217;s  ego and many have subsequently leave the family in shame.</p>
<p><strong><em>*Wives &#8211; show him the respect that he needs even though the world is collapsing all around</em></strong></p>
<p>The family now needs to assure him of their support and show him the respect that he yearns as a man even though he may have stumble a little. He may have lose the house but he has never lose his home  as his family is still encouraging him on.</p>
<p>The wife&#8217;s response  is also crucial now as she is the key person who can help him turn his life around. Failing to do the right thing will certainly create deep rift within the relationship resulting in a marital melt down.</p>
<p><strong>Consequences of Unemployment On Our Children</strong></p>
<p>The uncertainty and desperation of unemployment  must have drove many middle-aged PMETs  to the brim  of sanity and panic.</p>
<p>I  remembered my only daughter would sit quietly in one corner whenever there was an argument with my wife over finances. However, her countenance betrayed her emotions and I realised later that she was suffering in silence.</p>
<p>She was only seven years old then.</p>
<p>Our children will  feel the tension and frustration when a family member goes through joblessness.  So, never think that your children are ignorant or apathetic to your situation even if they are silent. They may be suffering inside for all you know.</p>
<p><strong><em>*Jobless dads &#8211; continue to maintain the relationship with your children as normally as possible</em></strong></p>
<p>Do spend some time  talking to your kids however difficult it is. I know that it will be tough to spend time with your children when you are feeling all torn up inside.  However, our children can be the ones who will give us the impetus to live on meaningfully when everything is going awry around us. It is also a good distraction and help us not to focus on our miserable state.</p>
<p>I remembered spending many evenings going for a swim with my daughter as she was little. We have some fun time together and I treasured those time spent at the pool  even though the familywas facing severe  financial stress.</p>
<p><strong>Sticking Together Through Thick and Thin</strong></p>
<p>Of course, there are some families  &#8211; especially those with high powered corporate wives &#8211; who  simply neglected their jobless partners and never really respect them once they have lost their jobs. Some  wives continued to take holidays with their children &#8211; without their unemployed husbands.</p>
<p>It will be wise  to plan the finances together with their unemployed spouses even if it is based on the working wife&#8217;s sole income. This will ensure that the husband feels included and respected. If not, he will feel alienated and his self esteem will  nosedive. A husband low on self-confidence will also find it difficult to get back into the work force.</p>
<p><strong><em>*Wives &#8211; walk the marital  talk through thick and thin!</em></strong></p>
<p>Moreover, it is time now to walk the talk as in our  marital vow we are   urged  to stay together through thick or thin. If family members do not stick together when the chips are down, I am afraid they won&#8217;t be intact for very long.</p>
<p>Singaporeans have also place too much emphasis on financial security and many families break up when the main breadwinner is being laid off. It is sad that many families  only functions properly when things are going well. The uncertainty of life has ensured that families will not sail through life untroubled. </p>
<p>Personally, when I was jobless,  I faced enormous pressure at home due to mounting financial debts from my house mortgage and credit card bills. I used up my credit lines to pay off monthly utilities and expenses. I also did not discuss my financial situation with my wife  due to my huge ego.</p>
<p><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-1806" style="margin-left: 1px; margin-right: 5px; border: 1px solid #000000;" title="father_son1" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/father_son1-174x300.png" alt="father_son1" width="174" height="200" />I later decided to talk to my spouse about my situation when things were starting to get out of hand. It was a wise thing to do as the situation at home improved after that and I also flared out lesser.  More importantly, we  learned the precious lesson  to stick together as a a couple despite life&#8217;s adversity.</p>
<p><strong><em> *What kind of example would we have shown to our kids if we  only share the good times with our loved ones but not the bad?</em></strong></p>
<p>Unemployment, like any other form of life&#8217;s adversity,  will    test out  one&#8217;s   resolve and patience and will show the true colour of a person. Fortunately, the tough time will not last forever.  It is also in  the valley that we learn perseverance, determination and mental toughness. Many people have miss out on the golden opportunity to learn  life&#8217;s real lessons during a tough period when they only see the negativity of the situation. They wish that the ordeal will end sooner and never really learn anything from their adversity.</p>
<p>Many great charities were  started by people who walked  through the storm themselves. They have managed to learn from their experiences and  used them to benefit others caught in similar circumstances.</p>
<p>The worldwide charity - Jeans for Genes Day was originated in Dorset in the early 1990s.  Two local brothers inspired a fundraising day that&#8217;s now one of the best known &#8211; and loved &#8211; charity events in the UK.</p>
<p>The brothers had chronic granulomatus disorder (CGD), a life-threatening condition which affects the body&#8217;s immune system.</p>
<p>So they started fundraising for the charity with an &#8216;auction of promises&#8217; in their local area which raised £7,000.</p>
<p>Inspired by this initial success, the family came up with the idea of Jeans for Genes Day. The brothers have indeed used their adversity for a greater good.</p>
<p><strong>Conclusion</strong></p>
<p>After speaking personally to more than thirty  over unemployed people,   I am convinced  that  the support of family members is crucial to the well being of the unemployed.  They not only help  cushioned the crushing emotional blow of unemployment but also provide vital moral support for them to turn their lives around. When they  are re- employed later on, I am sure that they will remember the support they have received from their family members and will cherish them even more.</p>
<p><strong>There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Franklin Delano Roosevelt</strong></p>
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		<title>7 Major Traumas of Unemployment</title>
		<link>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/08/01/7-major-traumas-of-unemployment/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sun, 01 Aug 2010 15:47:22 +0000</pubDate>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.transitioning.org/?p=2462</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Number of View: 7561 This article first appeared here in July 2009 7 Major Traumas of Unemployment Written by: Gilbert Goh Many readers have asked me what to expect when they were given the pink slip. Trying my best to be optimistic, I told them to stay well prepared and not to take things for [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Number of View: 7561<br/><p><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2465" title="people pic image" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/people-pic-image.gif" alt="people pic image" width="388" height="242" /></p>
<p><em>This article first appeared here in July 2009</em></p>
<p><strong>7 Major Traumas of Unemployment</strong></p>
<p><strong>Written by: Gilbert Goh </strong></p>
<p>Many readers have asked me what to expect when they were given the pink slip.</p>
<p>Trying my best to be optimistic, I told them to stay well prepared and not to take things for granted here. People who are prepared and positive tend to sail through unemployment with their chins up.</p>
<p>Unemployment has known to break up marriages and drive many to depression especially if families  are hit hard financially. For me, unemployment means no income and due to a lack of unemployment welfare, there is no social safety net for our jobless.</p>
<p>I will list the seven major traumas that will strike the unemployed and  coming up with some solutions to counter their impact.</p>
<p><strong>1. Finances</strong></p>
<p>By now, most people will know that unemployment = no income and full stop.  Many I know could not face up to having no regular income as their savings is almost near zero. What they have earn before is just nice for their monthly expenses.  Some simply spend away what they have earned without any regular savings plan in place. When unemployment arrives, they are shocked and  could not think straight for many days. This is what I termed a worse case scenario and it happends to many people I know.</p>
<p>My advice for people who are STILL working now is to plan out your finances  before you even receive the pink note.  Don&#8217;t wait till you are retrenched before deciding to plan out your finances. That will be too late. The clouded mind of the retrenched also does not allow one to plan confidently. If you are married, do this important exercise with your spouse when you are relaxed and calm.</p>
<p>Prioritise your expenditure &#8211; decide  how much you need to survive on given the amount  you have in your savings acount. Then calculate how long you can live on with that expenditure plan before you press the panic button of borrowing from friends  and selling stuff. Many may need even need to downsize their car, home and lifestyle to make ends meet without an income or living on one income for a family setting over a prolonged priod. Do plan that out as that option may arrive  at your doorstep however detailed you have plan for life without a job. It is called planning for the worse. Trust me, some of you will need it.</p>
<p>At the worse scenario when you need to raise cash urgently, what alternate forms do you have?  Do you need to borrow from friends if necessary and who will they are? Do you have things to sell on ebay and how much can you raise by selling stuff online? These are all valid things to think through before the crunch time comes.</p>
<p>Many people are made bankrupt as their debts piled up and bills went unpaid for many months.  This can be avoided if you talk it out with your banker or enlist the assitance of Credit Counselling Bureau to act as a mediator for you. Check out all avenues of assistance before the bad news hit you in the face.</p>
<p>Personally, I have faced many sleepless nights when I was unemployed during the Sars period. The worse stressors were when the bankers sent you  pay-up nasty mails with the legal masthead on them. It was not only stressful but terrifying for one who has always enough to pay up for such monthly bills.</p>
<p>Needless to say, it is prudent to live frugally now even if we are still working given the turbulent time we have in this current economic climate.  When you spend wisely even though you are still employed, it will be easier for you to adapt to a frugal lifestyle when you are jobless. It comes easily as you have being conditioned to live simply all along.</p>
<p><em>Summary note: Plan out your finances well using a worse case scenario.</em></p>
<p><strong>2. Relationships</strong></p>
<p><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-2466" style="margin: 7px; border: 3px solid #000000;" title="people pic" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/people-pic-298x300.jpg" alt="people pic" width="298" height="300" />Many families enjoy a blissful time together when everything sails through smoothly in life. However, when one of the family&#8217;s income earner is jobless and tense, everything changes at home. Tempers flare up easily and the whole family atmosphere changes over night.</p>
<p>The warm cheerful father that they have known all along may now turn into a hot tempered monster who roars at everyone at home. Suddenly,  his constant presence on the sofa now turns into an unwelcome sight for many at home. Children will try to avoid the massive terrifying frame and camp in their bedrooms waiting for the nightmare to end.  Instead of hugging them, their dad now snap and growl. Young children who do not understand what have happened may turn inward and depressive at the suddent change in family dynamics.</p>
<p>My family members got the blunt end of my outburst during the first six months of my unemployment.  I would snap at my daughter at the simplest of things and made her cried. Of course, I felt bad at my foul mood but could not do much to improve matters.  I also quarrelled alot with my wife over finances as we took out a home mortgage loan based on the income of two working members.  It stressed out the only working spouse who has to pay for most of the household bills.</p>
<p>I later talked things out with my family members and things improved when I shared my issues with them. They could understand why my mood was foul and I also promised that  I would be more responsible in my behaviour.</p>
<p>We also continued our regular weekend family outing and this helped to provide support to me during that tumultous period. Many unemployed readers have told me that their family remains their best form of support and reinforces the good relationship that they have all along especially during their unemployment blues.</p>
<p><em>Summary note: Talk things out with your family members and continue whatever family time that you have all along. Your family is your best support during this awful period. </em></p>
<p><strong>3. Friendship<img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-2467" style="margin: 7px; border: 3px solid #000000;" title="nab with hands in head 2nd" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/nab-with-hands-in-head-2nd1-300x168.jpg" alt="nab with hands in head 2nd" width="300" height="168" /></strong></p>
<p>Some people I know count on their friends to support them when they are jobless. I was fortunate to have a good butch of friends whom I counted on for support.  They were with me when I was down and out. Some offered me financial assistance and never chased me for repayment and I was grateful for their unconditional support.</p>
<p>However, there will be some friends who will run away at the smell of trouble from you. A friend of mine for twenty over years disappointed me much when he turned the cold shoulder during that period.</p>
<p>I remembered we shared many years of  good brotherly bonding as we grew up together and later became very good friends. So it was a shock when he turned the cold shoulder during that tough period. Calls to him went unaswered or he would not want to go out with me for our regular drinks.  I was more disappointed than angry with him. Needless to say, our friendship went downhill after that. So, be prepared that your good friends may turn out to be those that may not stand by you when you are down and out. This may hit singles more as they count on their friends to be their support system. It may be wise to cultivate a few more good friends to be on your side. Woe to those who only have one or two good friends and could not count on them when he needs them most.</p>
<p>Fortunately, I have also invested in other friends and those that I thought would be cold to me turned up to be rather supportive. They went out with me and provided me a good listening ear when needed.  To these days, we  still stay in touch. So, you will reap from the time and efforts  that you have sow  on friendships.  Though one or two may turn away, there will still be others who will respond to us when we need them.</p>
<p><em>Summary note: Be prepared that friends may turn away from you when you need them most. </em></p>
<p><strong>4. Emotional Disturbance</strong></p>
<p><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-2468" style="margin: 7px; border: 3px solid #000000;" title="woman with back facing" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/woman-with-back-facing-219x300.jpg" alt="woman with back facing" width="219" height="200" />Many unemployed people turn depressive and negative especially when they went jobless for many months. Some will face sleepless nights or have difficulty going to bed. Anxiety seems to be the byword of every jobless vocabulary.  The odd one will also have suicidal thoughts when the going gets rough. To some, losing one&#8217;s job is like losing part of our life. We have identified ourselves with the position printed out on our namecard and when one is retrenched, our identity goes thorugh a crisis transformation.</p>
<p>For the record, the first three months may be the most difficult period as the unemployed adjust himself to face up to his situation. Many snap easily at their loved ones and relationships tumbled downwards. Family members may also need to be prepared here to be more understanding and loving. Many I know could face up to the trauma of unemployment better when their family members were supportive and dependent. It is also a test of how strong the relationship has being. Families who spend alot of time together tend to have an easier time when someone goes jobless. The time spent together previously now acted as a buffer for them when the chips are down.</p>
<p>Almost all of the unemployed people I met have some form of emotional disturbance during their period of unemployment. Some managed to have only a mild attack whereas others need to seek medical assistance.</p>
<p>It is not difficult to fathom why the unemployed turned depressive.  Unemployment often attacks the self worth of a person and many I spoke to often questioned why were they retrenched when they were hardworking and performing well at work.</p>
<p>Their self worth thus took a hard stab as damaging  self enquiry went on for many weeks and months often during the crucial first three months. I would advise these people not to do too much self critical examination of why they were retrenched and their c olleagues get to work as often managers do not reveal too much about retrenchment exercise. Some human resource managers I spoke to told me that there were many other reasons why a staff has to be  laid off.  Besides work performance, other perimeters such as business re organisation, financial constraints and manpower reduction were considered before someone is being laid off.</p>
<p>Critical self enquiry on one&#8217;s work performance also hampers one from venturing to seek re employment  confidentally. Some I know never venture out of one&#8217;s home unless it is at night to avoid the inquiries of neigbhours. I also have this problem as  I try my best  avoid neighbours who will ask me why I am always at home.</p>
<p>In face-saving Singapore, many jobless people will try all ways to face up to their jobless state. Some retrenched PMETs still turn up in their tie and brief case preparing to go to work when they have no office to go to so that their family members will not know the truth.</p>
<p>Ego saving efforts to concel unemployment seem to be more rampant when the person is higher up the corporate ladder. It is well known that the higher you climb, the steeper will be  the fall.   The top executive has much to adjust to life without work as now he does not have a secretary making coffee for him in the morning nor those power lunches he share with his peers and bosses. He is all alone facing up to an uncertain empty future. The jobless executive needs to redefine what success means to him now. Is climbing up the corporate ladder that important now when one needs to be better at managing work life balance? Time alone without work may be the best tonic for the busy working executive to sort out his priority in life.</p>
<p>For the emotionally disturbed, it may be good to speak with someone about issues that torment us.   Seeking counselling is also helpful as research has shown that by speaking out our problems to another person we often feel less stressed. It is never wise to left issues that emotionally affect us without really addressing them. It is like caging up an angry dog who wants his daily favourite walk in the park. So seek help when necessary.</p>
<p>It is also good to communicate our fears with our spouse who will remain by our side through thick and thin. They will remain our best form of support during the down time.</p>
<p><em>Summary note:  Learn to face up to your fears and  be humble enough talk to someone about them.</em></p>
<p><strong>5. Physical wellbeing<img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-2469" style="margin: 7px; border: 3px solid #000000;" title="happy faces exercising" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/happy-faces-exercising.jpg" alt="happy faces exercising" width="300" height="150" /></strong></p>
<p>Besides suffering from emotional setback, the unemployed may face a barrage of physical ailments. Lets face it, what  goes on inside us will affect our physical being.  Of course, the vice versa also applies here.</p>
<p>In his book &#8221; Real Life&#8221;, Dr Phil McGraw wrote:  &#8221;When you adopt a healthy lifestyle it begins to add up in a powerfully positive way.&#8221;</p>
<p>WHen you sat depressed at home and shouting at your kids half the time to stay quiet, the heart went pumping hard and rage is also not a healthy way to destress. Over a prolonged period,  when the  person is jumpy and anxious, it will manifest itself physically. On the other hand, a healthy phsycial wellbeing will also influence how you think and act. I have exercised long enough to know the merits of such a statement.</p>
<p>I knew a friend who was retrenched recently and after suffering three months of joblessness, he had much more white hair than befores and lost some weight in the process.  He was anxious as he was the only primary breadwinner. His wife works part time and is also on  medicinal assistance.</p>
<p>Thus, do not discount the physical after effects of unemployment. What that goes inside our head will affect our physical well being.</p>
<p>So what can we  do to counter the stressors of unemployment?</p>
<p>For me, I took to jogging to destress and found it helpful both for my emotional and physical well being. I have started to run for well over two decades and intesified those runs when I was jobless.</p>
<p>In my book &#8220;How to survive unemployment&#8221; I have detailed how exercising has helped me alot to recover from the emotional perils of joblessness.  If readers want tohave  a free soft copy of this book, just email me at gilbert@transitioning.org.</p>
<p><em>Summary note: Guard your physical well being by having regular exercise. </em></p>
<p><strong>6. Adaptability</strong></p>
<p>Lets face it &#8211; those who can adapt to unemployment faster will tend to recover and look out for rehiring opportunities. The ones that still hang on to their previous employment  tend to have a hard time adapting to unemployment. They tend to speak bad about their bosses  who have retrench them and also question their self worth alot more. They have not learn to move on as fast as they could have.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2470" style="border: 3px solid #000000;" title="daybreak pic" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/daybreak-pic-300x197.jpg" alt="daybreak pic" width="300" height="250" /></p>
<p>In his bestseller book &#8220;The 4-hour Work Week&#8221;, author Timolty Ferriss wrote: &#8220;Usually, what we most fear doing is what we most need to do. That phone call, that conversation, whatever the action  might be &#8211; it is fear of unknown outcomes that prevents us from doing what we need to do.&#8221;</p>
<p>Mr Ferriss describes vividly what the problem the unemployed will face about adapting and facing up what he  fears most. When the retrenched still is hung up on why he is being laid off, it is likely that he will have difficulty trying to take active steps to getting re hired.</p>
<p>He is still sore about his retrenchment and so long as he is mad about it, he will face difficulty in adapting to his jobless situation.</p>
<p>Thi is perhaps the reason why many still could not open up to their loved ones when they are about to be retrenched. Many only inform their spouses the day that they have no job to go to causing a mini panic at work.</p>
<p>I have found that those who could adapt and accept  their retrenchment well turnd out to be the ones that could find new jobs fster than those who could not.</p>
<p>Top executives often have major adaptability issue as  they have much more to lose when they are laid off. Besides losing the financial perks,  the self worth also nose dives and they  tend to question  their  capability to perform. As rehiring for the top brass retrenched PMETs tends to be longer, the resilience factor of this category of workers has to be higher. Some may even have to downgrade their expectations in a worsening job market. Needless to say, their salary expectation has to be readjusted.</p>
<p>Some needs to adapt to looking for work beyond their level of comfort.  Others may have to adapt to a lower pay package in a totally different field. A few may even have to be relocated to work abroad for a stint. I remembered I have to take up a teaching job 2 years ago &#8211; a totally different field in China,  in a major job shift  which  I have gladly taken up. The experience changed my life forever and shifted alot of my own life&#8217;s paradigm.  I would not have done what I am doing now if I have not taken some risk, uprooted myself and got out of my comfort zone. Worse of all,  I will also be forever trapped in my own limited world view.</p>
<p>I have heard of how we have major problem taking on certain job scope and that could probably have contribute to a worsening jobless situation. Learn to let go of our past position and salary package and take some risk with a new career.</p>
<p>Some who have went for retraining with e2i and WDA have adapted well in their new career. They not only do well in their new job but also derived satisfaction from their work.</p>
<p><em>Summary note: Adapt to your new state well and  take on some risk to move on to newer horizon.</em></p>
<p><strong>7. Self Confidence<img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-2471" style="margin: 7px; border: 3px solid #000000;" title="scenic sea view" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/scenic-sea-view-300x225.jpg" alt="scenic sea view" width="300" height="225" /></strong></p>
<p>I want to talk more on this topic as I have seen many matured PMETs suffering a serious dent on their self confidence after being laid off. Some may not even recover as they face a proloned period of unemployment  damaging their confidence irrevocably. Many simply want to retire at home if they can.</p>
<p>It is obvious that the longer the person goes jobless the damage to his self confidence will be greater.</p>
<p>People who goes jobless for more than 12 months will also face a psychological barrier of getting rehired. Their body language says it all when they go to job interviews with sloughed shoulder and downcasted eyes.</p>
<p>Interviewers also do not take to prolonged unemployment kindly as they may feel that the person is unadaptable and fixated.</p>
<p>It is good thus for the unemployed to do some casual or temporary work so that their resume will not be blank out during that period. It also shows a person who is vibrant and actively trying to get out of the rut.</p>
<p>Self confidence is also strongly tied to a positive mindset. A confident person will try to bounce back from adversity and also adapt to different situation.</p>
<p>He will want to thrive in any adverse situation so as to learn from the  experience.</p>
<p>To him, any negative experience can be  utilised   as a nurturing process so that something good can come out of it.  He will not want to waster any time wallowing in self pity.</p>
<p>So whenever you enter into an adverse situation, try to look out for a learning experience out of it.</p>
<p>A jobless situation can turn out to be a rewarding experience if the person can try to  look out for a positive career revamp. How we think will determine how we approach our problem.</p>
<p><em>Summary note:  Learn to see the positive outcome of any adversity &#8211; however hard it is.</em></p>
<p><strong>Conclusion</strong></p>
<p>I hope that I have provided you enough information for you to stay prepared during your  unemployment period. This will be a particularly tough time for you and your family. It could also be a test of your family relationship and the journey will be choppy I assured you. However, after going through the rough journey in stormy sea, the ship will soon arrive on shore and you and your family will treasure each other alot more.  A person who has gone through the consuming fire of trials will often come out stronger and more matured. I hope that readers will agree with me on this.</p>
<p><strong>Motivational quote: Pray to God, but continue to row to shore &#8211; Russian proverb </strong></p>
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		<title>7 Lessons I Learned From My Jobless Experience</title>
		<link>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/07/08/7-lessons-i-learned-from-the-recession/</link>
		<comments>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/07/08/7-lessons-i-learned-from-the-recession/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Jul 2010 22:17:33 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Number of View: 3316 This article first appeared here in Oct 09. I have read widely that the economic crisis may be already over and many have cheered such positive news. It is like dawn breaking out on a very prolonged period of darkness. We can finally see some light at the end of a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Number of View: 3316<br/><p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-3886" title="ln-sg-workers" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/ln-sg-workers.jpg" alt="ln-sg-workers" width="400" height="298" /></p>
<p><em>This article first appeared here in Oct 09.</em></p>
<p>I have read widely that the economic crisis may be already over and many have cheered such positive news. It is like dawn breaking out on a very prolonged period of darkness. We can finally see some light at the end of a very dark long tunnel. For many, they will want to erase such a depressing period from their memory if they could.  The past twenty  months have knocked many of us flat  and some even suffered tremendous financial distress from failed investment, home foreclosures and bankruptcies. Many have lost their  fortune in a very short period and may never get to see their money again at all.</p>
<p>Some families I heard broke up as a result of unemployment-related problems &#8211; mostly financial.  Lives have changed  and how we approached our affliction will largely determine whether we can meaning in our suffering. Yet, there are many others who have learn something useful out of the crisis. Some have told me that they became stronger mentally and emotionally. They have learn to thrive in adversity and found that their adversity quotient has strengthened. It is in the valleys that many will learn life’s lessons and this is so true for many in this recession. Unless we try to embrace and accept such down times readily, we will never learn from crisis that can suddenly  hit us at certain points of our life. Without experiencing sadness, we can never really know what is true happiness. Without the feeling of being poor before, we can never truly understand what poverty can bring to a person and appreciate any richness that we have. Adversity has softened many people  and they have all grown to become a better person. We all can learn a lesson or two from the 2008/9 recession. Here are seven lessons I learned from my own unemployment blues:</p>
<p><strong>1. Never put all your eggs in one basket<a href="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/money-2.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-12339" style="margin: 5px; border: black 3px solid;" title="money 2" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/money-2-300x225.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="225" /></a></strong></p>
<p>Those who think that by investing our money we will reap tangible returns from  risk-averse investment vehicles will be disappointed. The past recession proved to be very devastating for anyone who invested their money  even in capital-guaranteed instruments. One big lesson we can learn from the recession is that greed may  equal loss. Invest abit but left some in the low-interest savings account seem a wise choice in this volatile environment. Though the return may seem low for money placed in the savings account, at least the capital sum is guaranteed – 100%.</p>
<p>Personally, I have lost 6 figure sum   in the stock market many years ago and have since stayed away from the stock market. I have learned my lesson and hope not to repeat my mistake again. Readers who have lost money in the minibonds and other investments will identify with what I have shared here.</p>
<p><strong>2. Reduce debts and save more</strong></p>
<p>Hopefully, the recession has taught us to constantly look for ways to reduce our debts and save more. Many I know have cut back on spendthrift habits and spend what they have rather than using their credit facilities. If you have a mortgage loan, try to pay it off in the shortest possible time. Staying debt free should be the motto of our people in this tough time. If possible, when buying a house, use the income of one person rather than both working couple to seek for a loan from the banks as the recession cycle seems to be getter shorter these days. Many people were caught out when they have difficulty paying their mortgage loan when their partner lost their job in the recession.</p>
<p>We ought to try to stay debt free in the shortest time possible. I know that this is easier say than done especially when we borrow to wed, buy a house, car, furniture and some even use their credit card to go on their dream holiday. Cutting down on debt or even staying debt free should be the goal of anyone affected by the recession.</p>
<p><strong>3. Always be in an upgrading mode even when you are gainfully employed</strong></p>
<p>Seek out a new skill even when you are still gainfully employed. Many people work thinking that they will be in their job forever.  People  always look lost when they are suddenly  retrenched and never know what they want to do after that. While still employed, plan ahead what you want to do for the next five or ten years. Those who plan ahead tend to be more confident of their future when they lose their job in a recession. Having additional skills also allow you to immediately change career when you lose your job. You are already one step ahead of those who are still floundering and looking lost after retrenchment. So,  learn a new skill preferably something that you like to do all along but never get the chance. It is time to explore those dreams that seems almost impossible to achieve when we are in our comfort zone. Be adventurous and take some calculated risk in your life.</p>
<p><strong>4. Treasure your family</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/dad.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-12341" style="margin: 5px; border: black 3px solid;" title="dad" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/dad-300x173.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="173" /></a>One nice thing that I heard from many people who lost their jobs is that they have  treasured their family more. Perhaps, we have substitute  relationships for tangible stuff in our materialistic society all along. We buy things for our children thinking that this will please them when deep down they prefer having us around  at home. They want our time and not our toys. Many who spent most of their waking hours in the office sudddenly felt lost when  enforced to spend the day time with their family members at home when they lost their job. They felt uncomfortable as they don’t know how to engage their children while transitioning at home.</p>
<p>They realised how much they have missed out on seeing their children grow up until they spend the time  at home interacting with them. It is a good wake up call for many I felt. Our children all grow up too fast and when we realise that we have miss those time, it will be too late as   time lost can never come back to us again. Time lost is forever gone.</p>
<p><strong>5. Reconsider that loyalty issue with the employer<a href="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/unemployment-pic1.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-12345" style="margin: 5px; border: black 3px solid;" title="unemployment pic" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/unemployment-pic1-300x224.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="224" /></a></strong></p>
<p>One significant lesson many people learned during the recession is that you can never expect loyalty from your employer though you have being foolishly loyal to the company. Many people put in extra hours of over time when requested to help their employers rush out some urgent tasks but were shocked to receive the pink slip still. Worse of all,  you still see many of your colleagues working  on when you are being laid off &#8211; that&#8217;s the deepest cut of all.</p>
<p>“Why me?” many have asked when they were been laid off. It was a blatant thrust of the sword into the loyal heart. So, reconsider that  loyalty issue with your employer. Are you putting in too many hours trying to fulfill your boss over bearing demands at work? Every extra hour you spent at the office  takes you away from the precious time that you can spend with your family members. Is it worth it?</p>
<p>I am not saying that we should all slack at work but the loyalty issue may need a re-check after how employers lay off their workers indiscriminately during the last  recession. <em>One ought to know that we work to live and not live to work</em>. Life is too short to put all our waking time working for our bosses so that they can make more profit for the company.</p>
<p><strong>6. Spend more time networking</strong></p>
<p>Many people who find jobs easily after been  laid off usually have a larget network of friends and contacts that they can tap on. They have benefit from spending time interacting with people from all walks of life. We need to change the way we job search from now on especially when the economy is so turbulent these days.  Learn to move out of the comfort zone of simply going to work and returning home. Learn to socialise more and be a friend to others. It is when we sow then  we can  reap from the time and efforts that we have put in cultivating relationships.</p>
<p>Networking can be uncomfortable for many of us who are naturally shy and inhibited. However, hopefully the positive efforts to network  will put us out of our comfort zone. So, move out to interact more with others – it can also  bring more colour into our mundane life.</p>
<p><strong>7. Simplify our lifestyle and be contented with what we have</strong></p>
<p>We all need to simplify our lifestyle more here. In Singapore whereby shopping is the popular past time of most people, learning to simplify one’s lifestyle seems relevant. We buy things on impulse and stock them up without really using them in the process. We buy the latest gadget when we found our colleagues having them. Hopefully, during the recession, we have learn not to compare ourselves with the Joneses and be contented with what we have. If our car is still working well though it is a old model, try not to change for another newer model incurring a new 10-year loan in the process. The key question to ask ourselves when we want to buy anything new is: “Do we need it? Is the old one not serving us well enough?” It is best to be happy with what we have. Stay lean and contented.</p>
<p>Lessons learnt from difficult times tend to stay on within us for a long time. People also emerge stronger after each economic crisis. So don’t waste your time brooding over lost opportunitites but try to see something useful coming out of the hard times. Life is too short to spend them always wishing for what we don’t have. Learn to see that there will always be a rainbow coming out of the heavy storm.</p>
<p>As one great man has taught us :- All this shall pass. It had already happened for me and the same will happen to you as well …</p>
<p><strong>Written by: Gilbert Goh</strong></p>
<p><strong>PS: If you have similar stories to share about lessons learned during the period that you were jobless, email me at <a href="mailto:gilbert@transitioning.org">gilbert@transitioning.org</a> or <a href="mailto:goh_gilbert@yahoo.com">goh_gilbert@yahoo.com</a>. All stories will be treated with the strictest confidence.</strong></p>
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		<title>Seeking Help When Unemployed</title>
		<link>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/06/21/seek-help-when-necessary-dont-wait-till-its-too-late/</link>
		<comments>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/06/21/seek-help-when-necessary-dont-wait-till-its-too-late/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jun 2010 10:18:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.transitioning.org/?p=1477</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Number of View: 5234   This article first appeared here in June 09. Seeking Help When Unemployed Written By: Gilbert Goh  I am all in favour of the unemployed seeking professional counseling  and career coaching support. Those who feel that they are depressed and feeling hopeless should seek out a coach or counselor for advice [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Number of View: 5234<br/><p><a href="http://occmed.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/reprint/51/4/287.pdf"></a></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"> </p>
<p><em>This article first appeared here in June 09.</em></p>
<p><strong>Seeking Help When Unemployed</strong></p>
<p><strong>Written By: Gilbert Goh</strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong><a href="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/depressed-man1.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-12071" style="margin: 5px; border: black 3px solid;" title="depressed man" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/depressed-man1-300x199.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="199" /></a>I am all in favour of the unemployed seeking professional counseling  and career coaching support. Those who feel that they are depressed and feeling hopeless should seek out a coach or counselor for advice rather than suffering alone. They are many family service centers (FSC) out there that provides counseling support and it can be provided free if you explain your current financial situation to them. There is no shame  to seek help and we should put away our Asian male ego here.</p>
<p>Unemployment is ranked as the top sixth most stressful events of one&#8217;s  life  with losing one&#8217;s spouse through death or a divorce occupying the top few spots according to a study done in University of Birmingham, 2001 <em><a href="http://occmed.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/reprint/51/4/287.pdf">(click here to read full article)</a>. Prolonged unemployment can unfortunately devastate a person&#8217;s self esteem and destroy a person&#8217;s desire to live on.</em></p>
<p><strong>Adverse Effect Of Unemployment </strong></p>
<p>Unemployment  sucks out whatever optimism we have inside us  and will often reduce one to a hopeless wreck. Unemployment also hits man harder especially if they are  heads of household  as it hurts their self esteem and man&#8217;s natural tendency to provide for the family.  The same lousy feeling applies even if the spouse is also working.</p>
<p>That is why it is important  for the unemployed to protect his emotion and mind well.  He needs to fill them up  with positive thinking through  motivational books, mixing around with people who are positive and  engaging in positive self talk. Going for regular exercises also helps to lift up one&#8217;s mood as it is found that when the body moves rapidly in motion,  it sends oxygen and blood pumping through the  system producing feel-good endorphins.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/maslow.png"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-12082" title="maslow" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/maslow.png" alt="" width="450" height="338" /></a></p>
<p>Unemployment  particularly affects one&#8217;s finances which also directly impact man&#8217;s basic needs such as food and shelter. The Maslow&#8217;s hierarchy of needs chart (see above)  revealed   that  food and shelter remain the most basic of man&#8217;s search for fulfillment . <em> Once deprived of such basic needs for a long time, a man may lose his natural instinct to survive.</em></p>
<p>For the extreme cases, some take their own life as they face financial pressures from bankers for mortgages or bank loans taken when times are good. We have read how some high profiled executives took their own life as they lost millions in the current financial crisis. Some could not see how they can continue living on having lost so much of their hard earned money in stocks and shares. During good times, many also live their life chasing after materialism, often attaching much value to accumulating tangible stuff such as houses and cars. Much of their self worth is lost when they lose their material goods during the crisis. Unless they find new value and meaning in living again after such massive  losses, many will feel that they have fail in their life and chose to end it all.</p>
<p>A  banker friend of mine killed himself during the Sars period after one year of unemployment.  I felt that suicide is most unnecessary and can be avoidable if  the situation is managed properly. Again, this is easier say than done. I find that those with a higher adversity threshold tends to hold up better than those without.  Frankly, this period of joblessness is agod to build up our resilience which is so lacking among our people nowadays due to long period of prosperity and comfort in our country.</p>
<p><strong>Counselling For Everyone </strong></p>
<p>I was fortunate to have a friend who works in the social service sector whom I met regularly during my unemployment period. Though our regular meetings could not be counted as professional counseling sessions, his unwavering support and encouragement for me have helped me immensely to turn around my life. It is also this friend who later recommended to work part time in his work place. I am eternally thankful to him for helping me out of my predicament. By  talking it out,  it is a form of emotional release for me often with the effect of loosening the knots within me.</p>
<p>I find that it is tough for guys here to seek counseling support for their problems. There is the pride issue and it is also shameful for one to open up to another person about their problem. However, having attended some counseling sessions on my own before, I find that counseling is very theraupatic and can bring instant mental relief for one who is deeply troubled. AS the counselor is a stranger to me, I could also have the freedom to share everything without feeling that he will judge me as some friends may do. Most counselors will also walk through the options with me and regular sessions of at least once fortnightly is recommended. There are occasions that I actually looked forward to seeing my counselor after a particularly bad spell.</p>
<p>Women have a lesser issue when it comes to seeking counseling support. Maybe they have less of an ego problem than men and will not hesitate to seek whatever help they can get from their own sister friends. Man has a big ego problem when it comes to seeking help and being vulnerable. It is timely that more men come forward to speak about their problems openly so that others may know that they are not alone and that seeking help is not an unmanly thing to do.</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/sitting-man-head_M93-387711.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-12073" title="sitting-man-head_~M93-387711" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/sitting-man-head_M93-387711.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="301" /></a></strong></p>
<p><strong>Family Service Centre </strong></p>
<p>Professional counseling is provided from the following family service centers located all around Singapore:</p>
<p>Care Corner Family Service Center (FSC)</p>
<p>Fei Yue Family Service Center</p>
<p>Tg Pagar Family Service Center</p>
<p>Marine Parade Family Service center</p>
<p>Singapore Buddhist Lodge Vision Family Service Center</p>
<p>Rotary Family Service Center</p>
<p>Bear in mind that as family service centers work with people that stay within their precinct do contact the staff first before going down for their services. You don’t want to make a wasted trip when you go to the wrong FSC nearest you. Some also see clients by appointment so do contact them first.</p>
<p>Most FSCs are also located within HDB neighbourhood area and often housed in void decks. However, the interior is nice and warm giving one a feeling of calmness and peace. Most counseling rooms are decently renovated with cushions, paintings and sofas to provide clients with the right ambivience for sharing one’s problem. You will be surprised how fast one hour passed by when you have the right environment to offload your problem.</p>
<p>Most FSCs also charge a token of $20 to $50 per session but fees may be waived if the person has financial difficulty. Sessions are carried out by trained counselors and discreetly with the client’s privacy well guarded.</p>
<p>Of course if you have the means, you can consult a professional counselor who charges anything from $100 &#8211; $200 per session of one hour each. You have the comfort of privacy and comfort not found yet in FSCs as they still deal with the masses.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, counselling has yet to take off fully here perhaps due to the stigma attached to people seeking help.  It is  largely due to the ego of most people here especially men who shy away from seeking help as it stabs at  their manhood and I-am-alright mentality.  I hope that people in distress  then here will not hesistate to seek assistance either from their friends who show care or their loved ones.  We should find solace and support from the ones closest to us if possible.</p>
<p>Personally, a session with a counsellor can bring forth much relief and peace of mind. Often, we do not really need solutions from the counselor but just the opportunity to offload what is on our heart. The human mind is built in such a way that if we keep on accumulating issues and do not discharge them we will explode one day. So take a chance and see a counselor. It is not so frightening after all and certainly not a shameful thing to do.</p>
<p><strong>Financial Counselling </strong></p>
<p>Financial counseling can also be sought at Credit Counselling Center whereby trained officers will try to assist clients who have problem repaying credit loans. They will write in to the respective financial institutions to try to find a way to resolve the crisis. Though I have not seek advice from the center, I have heard from friends that they are effective and reliable. Again, if the person is unwilling to seek help, the resources will go to waste. So pay them a visit and bring with you all the bank loan documents so that they can assist you readily. It is never too late to seek help.</p>
<p>When we break down after a prolonged period of depression the problem may turn chronic requiring medical intervention and sometimes hospitalisation.  This is so unnecessary as Singapore has several hundreds of  certified counsellors with many willingly doing it for free. Transitioning has a team of voluntary qualified counsellors all ready to assist you. Just email me at gilbert@transitioning.org for a counsellor anytime any day. We are here to help you.</p>
<p><strong>A series of failures may culminate in the best possible results. Gisela M. A. Richter</strong><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs.svg"></a><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs.svg"></a><a href="http://occmed.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/reprint/51/4/287.pdf"></a></p>
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		<title>Cocky Jobless Male Turned Desperate</title>
		<link>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/06/10/email-from-a-jobless-reader-17-nov/</link>
		<comments>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/06/10/email-from-a-jobless-reader-17-nov/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 10 Jun 2010 02:10:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.transitioning.org/?p=4576</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Number of View: 4425 Dear Gilbert, I&#8217;m a 36 years old male who has gone unemployed since May this year. I actually resigned from my Sales cum Ops cum account managing job after lots of unhappiness with my previous employer. I left without a job but did not regret a single bit as I was [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Number of View: 4425<br/><div>
<p><a href="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/employsingaporeansfirst2.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-11839" title="employsingaporeansfirst" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/employsingaporeansfirst2.jpg" alt="" width="780" height="90" /></a></p>
<p>Dear Gilbert,</p>
<p>I&#8217;m a 36 years old male who has gone unemployed since May this year.</p>
<p>I actually resigned from my Sales cum Ops cum account managing job after lots of unhappiness with my previous employer. I left without a job but did not regret a single bit as I was totally mentally and physically drained.</p>
<p>The first few weeks of unemployment was definitely enjoying as it was a long time since I had the chance to wake up &#8220;naturally&#8221;. I had time to chew my breakfast slowly, allowing my tastebuds to savour every bit and pieces that was sent into my mouth.</p>
<p>Taking a stroll after breakfast was a norm&#8230;. Back then I didn&#8217;t realized how bad the market was&#8230;. I did not expect it to be so much worse than the Asian financial crisis&#8230;</p>
<p>After my &#8220;holiday&#8221;, I decided to look for a job and was flipping thru the papers.</p>
<p>I picked a few potential companies and send them my CV. I was very confident that out of these few companies, at least 2 will reply and I&#8217;ll defintely be employed by one of them. To my surprise, none replied.</p>
<p>So back to the papers yet again and what initially seems to be a casual job lookout by a cocky confident man has become a frantic job search by a low esteemed scavenger.</p>
<p>I have little savings left and soon, I&#8217;ll have to live off my wife if I don&#8217;t get a job soon&#8230; Luckily we do not have a kids yet but we plan to next year. But if I don&#8217;t get employed, that plan has to be shelved to further notice.</p>
<p>I really hope that your ebook can shed some light to where I should be heading and give me some directions&#8230;. Oh yes, I agree with the job agencies article that you wrote&#8230; No response from them at all, not even an auto responder.</p>
<p>Lastly, thanks for setting up this website. I really felt alone like some kind of a freak these days. Every living soul that I know is working except me.</p>
<p> Furthermore those kaypoh auntie neighbours giving me &#8220;the looks&#8221; doesn&#8217;t help either.</p>
<p>But now, I felt better so thanks a lot.</p>
<p>Best wishes,</p>
<p>Eng (name changed)</p>
<p><strong> </strong><strong>PS: This article first appeared here in Nov 2009.</strong></p>
<p><strong>*************</strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong><a href="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Coaching_to_the_winning_edge.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-11840" title="Coaching_to_the_winning_edge" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Coaching_to_the_winning_edge.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="450" /></a></strong></p>
<p><strong>Hi Eng,</strong></p>
<p>Thanks for you mail.</p>
<p>I am glad that you are brought down to earth abeit desperately.</p>
<p>There is unfortunately no deadline to unemployment and we don&#8217;t know when we will be employed again. The journey may seem dark and desolate&#8230;</p>
<p>However, one thing is for sure &#8211; if we don&#8217;t apply and send out resumes the chances are almost zero.</p>
<p>No resumes sent out = no interviews = no job offer.</p>
<p>It may also be good to have a timetable whereby you have a roster to follow and hopefully your job searching ritual will start from there.</p>
<p>I remembered I woke up in the morning when I was jobless and after eating breakfast  dived straight into the papers and internet to do my job search.</p>
<p>I also emailed friends and contacts for possible job openings. I graduated into meeting up with my ex-colleagues and employers when I realised that job advertisements listed in the papers did not really favour me much.</p>
<p>Like many here, I suffered from low self confidence and depression during my unemployment period. I promised myself that I would use my experience to help others going through similar plight once I have recovered.</p>
<p>The worse experience came  when I needed to borrow money from friends to pay my bills and from there, you  knew who your true friends are. Not that I would blame them for not lending me money but during the whole period that I was jobless, they had avoided me intentionally.  The hurt was more than any human being could bear.</p>
<p>It was however only seven years later that I picked up the courage to write the  book &#8220;How to survive unemployment&#8221; and started this support site for the jobless. The experience was still very raw and vivid in my mind when I wrote the book. It was as if the whole event happened just a while ago.</p>
<p>So, for whatever suffering  that you are going through right now,  use the experience for a higher purpose. That way, your suffering will not go down in vain.</p>
<p>Fortunately, it was  from one of the many  known contacts that I managed to find a part time job paying me $6.50 an hour working at a family service centre. The pay was nothing to shout about  but it was a big step out of unemployment. It was of course a far cry from the $4000 a month that I  earned from my previous insurance job.</p>
<p>It was a slow process trust me and my patience was tested to the limits during that awful period.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, I realised that the whole process had sharpened my adversity quotient and  could feel that my inner man was really toughened up.</p>
<p>Hopefully, the same thing happened to you.</p>
<p>Take care and never give up.</p>
<p>Regds</p>
<p>Gilbert</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p>
</div>
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		<title>Organising a Time Table When You Are Unemployed</title>
		<link>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/06/03/organising-a-time-table-when-you-are-unemployed/</link>
		<comments>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/06/03/organising-a-time-table-when-you-are-unemployed/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 03 Jun 2010 14:45:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.transitioning.org/?p=2203</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Number of View: 2667This article first appeared here in Feb 09. Organising A Time Table When You Are Unemployed Written by: Gilbert Goh After idling around for six months and feeling really depressed with all the free time available, I decided to create a time table to fill up my time. The simple timetable looks [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Number of View: 2667<br/><p><strong>This article first appeared here in Feb 09.</strong></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2204" style="border: 3px solid #000000;" title="art-survive_a_layoff" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/art-survive_a_layoff.jpg" alt="art-survive_a_layoff" width="525" height="250" /></p>
<p><strong>Organising A Time Table When You Are Unemployed</strong></p>
<p><strong>Written by: Gilbert Goh</strong></p>
<p><strong></strong>After idling around for six months and feeling really depressed with all the free time available, I decided to create a time table to fill up my time. The simple timetable looks like this:</p>
<p>0800 – Wake up</p>
<p>0900 – Breakfast. Read a motivational book.</p>
<p>1000 – Send out emails to prospective employers by surfing the jobsites and newspaper</p>
<p>1200 – Lunch break out</p>
<p>1300 – Spent time with mum and daughter or network with other friends. Do some house work.</p>
<p>1500 – Watch TV or siesta</p>
<p>1700 – Prepare for daily jogging at the stadium</p>
<p>1900 – Freshen up and prepare for dinner with family</p>
<p>2100 – Read a motivational book or watch TV</p>
<p>2300 – Sleep and rest</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2205" style="border: 3px solid #000000;" title="clearing out sign" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/clearing-out-sign.jpg" alt="clearing out sign" width="300" height="180" /></p>
<p>The timetable provided me a daily meaningful structure which I tried my best to adhere to. If not, I would spend many hours behind the PC and there is the feeling that time is wasted. Being a person who is not very disciplined, there are occasions that I wandered away from my timetable but after a week or two I would try to follow the activities again knowing that they are the best for me. A timetable also allowed me to look forward to the activities that I enjoyed. For example, I enjoyed jogging and reading immensely and would look forward to the activities daily. If you enjoy fishing or gardening, factor in some time daily to do the activity that interests you or else the boredom will irk you and darw you up the wall.</p>
<p>Having a time table will also soothe your conscience abit as all along we have adjusted to working and doing stuff. When sudddenly we have tons of time on our hands it can  frustrate us and more seriously we will question our self worth as our mind is hit by doubts about our situation. Having a time table hopefully will close the door on us spending too much time thinking about negative stuff.</p>
<p>The first few hours after waking up is the most difficult for me as I have to face another brand new day of unemployment. There are days that I stayed in bed after wallowing in self pity especially after been axed from my one-month old telemarketing job due to unexplained reasons. It took a lot of mental strength for one to wake up and face another day of no work and emptiness. Unless one has a lot of meaningful things to do at home to occupy his time, a timetable certainly helps one to cope with the large amount of free time on hand. If not, it can make one grow crazy.</p>
<p>It is good sometimes to vary the activities daily as without work life can be mundane and boring. Sometimes, I would take a train to the other end of the line and have my lunch there. This not only break the routine but also gave me a chance to get out of my home. Any normal person who coop up at home for many weeks will feel frustrated and useless.</p>
<p>I also look forward to weekends as they are the best times of the whole week. I get to go out with my family and there is also the break from the boring routine of the week days. Though there are certain restrictions to what we can do due to financial constraints, spending time with my loved ones gave me a lot of theraupetic value that money can’t buy.</p>
<p>On Saturday evening, I also gathered with my friends and watched my favourite English Premier League football matches at the downstairs coffee shops. Besides enjoying the live soccer matches, I also got to chat with my friends and you began to feel that life is not that bad after all.</p>
<p>Volunteering one&#8217;s time also help as we are doing something meaningful as we give of our time and self to enliven the lives of the less fortunate. Seeing the underpriviledged living their life will somehow make us feel that we are not alone in our sticky situation. There are others who are worse off than us. Moreover, when we help others,  we will get the feeling that  we are doing something constructive and meaningful which itself is theraupetic.</p>
<p>So get a timetable of fruitful activities going as it not only keep you occupied but also help to maintain your sanity! The idle mind is the devil&#8217;s workshop.</p>
<p><strong>Great works are performed, not by speed or strength, but by perseverance. Samuel Johnson</strong></p>
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		<title>6 Types of Resources for Job Searching</title>
		<link>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/05/31/survivor-series-14-types-of-resources-for-job-seeking/</link>
		<comments>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/05/31/survivor-series-14-types-of-resources-for-job-seeking/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 31 May 2010 00:57:57 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Number of View: 6325 This article first appeared here in June 2009. Types of Resources For Job searching By Gilbert Goh Jo searching is a exhausting and tiring process for many people and it can be particularly stressful for those who are financially tight. To avoid prolonging the job search process, some simply take up [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Number of View: 6325<br/><p><strong><a href="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/jobs3.jpg"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-11351" title="jobs" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/jobs3.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="353" /></a></strong></p>
<p><em>This article first appeared here in June 2009.</em></p>
<p><strong>Types of Resources For Job searching</strong></p>
<p><strong>By Gilbert Goh</strong></p>
<p><strong>Jo searching is a exhausting and tiring process for many people and it can be particularly stressful for those who are financially tight. To avoid prolonging the job search process, some simply take up any job that comes their way so that they can resume their normal lifestyle again - never mind if the new job carries a hefty pay-cut. </strong></p>
<p>After a while, normally after none months to a year, the jobseeker may give up job hunting entirely more out of a severely bruised self esteem than anything else. Frustration has also built up to a level that has rendered the jobseeker irrational and ill-tempered. He feels that it is better if he cools things down abit and resume the job hunting later.  Such behaviour may be dangerous as the lull period may be so comfortable that he loses the fight to search for a job again.</p>
<p>I remember I took a one-month break from job searching after a particularly frustrating period eight years ago and the break soon turned into a six-month siesta. It felt good not having to pore over the papers daily, sent in my resume, attended interviews and waited for the rejection letters. Naturally, any confidence that I still have remaining then was tore to nothingness and I did everything possible to preserve any remaining self esteem.</p>
<p>Fortunately, there are many resources available for the modern-day  job seekers nowadays. Let us examine the common ones here:</p>
<p><strong>Jobs Website Portal</strong></p>
<p>There has being an influx of job website portals  serving  the  online job market now. Some popular sites are listed below:</p>
<p>www.st701.com</p>
<p>www.2myjobs.com/singapore</p>
<p>www.singaporejobsonline.com</p>
<p>www.seekmyjob.com</p>
<p>www.jobhub.com.sg</p>
<p>www.singaporehotjobs.com</p>
<p>www.jobsdb.com</p>
<p>Sharing from personal experiences, I have yet to secure any interview let alone a job offer from such job portals. Maybe the online job portals are flooded with jobseekers and they have a hard time handling the volume. Nevertheless, at least, they bothered to reply and often provide a return standard email explaining that they have received my email request for work and will look into it shortly.</p>
<p>However, the main advantage of looking into online job portals is that it allows one to have a general overview of the current job market situation. For example, I realized that there is always a high demand for secretarial and clerical staff even during down time and knew that people searching for such jobs may end up getting one easily. Temporary jobs are also available if one does not mind the instability of such employment.</p>
<p>My take is not to bank all your hopes and efforts on online job portals. It is one avenue for job search and should remain that way – diversification is the key here.</p>
<p><strong>Newspaper advertisements</strong></p>
<p><a href="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Jobless1.png"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-11353" style="margin: 3px; border: black 3px solid;" title="Jobless" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/Jobless1.png" alt="" width="204" height="399" /></a>This is by far Singaporeans’ hot traditional favourite for job search resources and why not? Nothing beats seeing so many columns of advertisied jobs on the local newspaper. It just lifts your mood up for the day!</p>
<p>However, bear in mind that during down time, companies may freeze employment and there will be considerably less jobs advertised on the newspaper. I remembered during my jobless period, there was not more than 3 pages of jobs available on the advertisement page of the local newspaper on any given day and it was all very gloomy.</p>
<p>Most jobs advertised are either temporal jobs such as telemarketing or sales-related. Multi-level marketing work was also very hot then.</p>
<p>Though job search via the newspaper way is still the most popular source for most Singaporeans, one must think of other ways to look for jobs during down period.  Most small companies will not also advertise in the papers &#8211; they prefer to rely on their staff to refer friends to them to save  cost.</p>
<p>Never put all your eggs in one basket again.</p>
<p>So far, based on my personal experiences, I could only secure less than ten interviews through the newspaper job search source all these years and only confirmed two job placements along the way.</p>
<p>One was a telemarketing position and the other was a civil service position. For the thousands of emails that I sent cumulatively to prospective employers on a daily basis, the success rate is miserably low.</p>
<p>Again, I must emphasized one should never depend on a single resource network for job searching however popular it is.</p>
<p>Moreover, one also needs to realize that many jobs are not  advertised on the newspaper so that competitor industries will not know their human resource requirement.</p>
<p><strong>Community Development Councils</strong></p>
<p>The employment arm of the five regional Community Development Councils (CDC), supported by Workforce Development Authority (WDA), has been set up more than five years ago to tackle the chronic unemployment problem immediately after 9/11 and SARS.</p>
<p>It has now evolved into providing retraining and upgrading facilities to mostly matured and lowly-educated jobseekers. Some support programmes are also now being targeted at the unemployed professionals such as the support group activities and motivational talks.</p>
<p>AS CDCs also works around precinct, one has to contact their own CDC before going over so that they will not go to the wrong one. Most CDCs have walk-in counter and the wait for an officer to see you can range from ten minutes to thirty minutes depending on the crowd. It is safe to presume that during a recession, more residents will visit their CDCs for job matching and financial aid assistance. However, how successful are the CDCs in serving the needs of the jobseekers?</p>
<p>First, we need to look at the setup of the CDCs.</p>
<p>Each CDC has a team of Employment Consultants who will go through your job experience and capabilities so that they can match you with a job or send you for retraining. However, though they are widely successfully in helping the matured workers with lower secondary school education, the same cannot be said for their success rate with the  professional, managerial, executive and technical (PMET) level.</p>
<p>Perhaps, the needs of this group are far more demanding and diverse  than those of  ground level workers. It will be  difficult to job match a senior manager working in a bank for the past ten years as firstly the job bank of the CDC is  rather limited in scope and secondly such senior positions are normally advertised with the headhunters. He will be better off looking for a headhunter than the CDC officer for job placement resources.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, many jobseekers have benefitted from the retraining courses provided and they are all heavily subsidised. </p>
<p>CDCs also have a social support arm whereby they will provide financial aid to those who qualify. There is a stringent set of pre-qualification rules in place and officers will visit your home to ascertain that you are indeed poor and down.</p>
<p>The assisted amount, between $200-$400 a month and  given over 3-4 months, is  nomally provided  to help a family tide over a tough period and priority is given to breadwinner who loses his  job.</p>
<p>Approval for such financial aid assistance can take about 4-6 weeks. Urgent cases can be sped up depending on the workload of the CDCs.</p>
<p>As the CDC’s main priority  is to help those who are poor and unfortunate, their financial aid is limited to the really down and out and not for everyone.</p>
<p>It is not like in developed countries whereby  the jobless can file cliam for unemployment benefit.  Ours is more like a social welfare application limited to the very poor in society.</p>
<p>Blue collared workers who are less fussy about employment can easily get a job through CDC. They have a huge job bank of low-level jobs and officers are willing to assist those who want to help themselves more. Their emphasis is focused on helping the jobseekers to be self-reliant if possible.</p>
<p>For the PMETs, CDC may not be the best place to go as executive-level  jobs are not so readily available in their job bank unless one is ready to really go very low in their expectation.  Some common jobs at CDCs&#8217; job bank include cleaners, security guards, drivers and technicians.</p>
<p>Moreover, a company who wants to look for such high profile workers will not register themselves with the CDC. They may go for elite recruitment agency who does headhunting on a professional level.</p>
<p>As mentioned, a trip to the CDC may not be necessarily fruitless as they have quite good upgrading courses available and it feels  good to know that the government has provided some form of resources to help  the people find jobs.</p>
<p>Similar smaller scale job search resources and financial assistance schemes are also available from the self-help groups – CDAC, Mendaki,  and Sinda.</p>
<p><strong>Networking<a href="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/jobless11.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-11354" title="jobless1" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/jobless11-278x300.jpg" alt="" width="278" height="300" /></a></strong></p>
<p>I have written on the merits of networking as a way of getting job referrals earlier. I can never emphasize this more as experiences have proven  that this is by far the most effective way for many job seekers out there especially in this down time.</p>
<p>This is more  so if you are looking for  executive or professional work and you are not at the prime of your employability curve.</p>
<p>When one is referred by a friend, you are the only person going for the job interview and if you meet the requirements of position, there is no reason why you could not secure that job on offer.</p>
<p>Many smaller companies also do not want to go through the hassle of advertising, selecting interviewees and interviewing them one by one. Besides the cost factor of advertising, there is also the precious time needed to do all the interviewing. There is also no guarantee that your choice of the candidate is the right one as you base his suitability just on his written resume and an hour of face-to-face meeting.</p>
<p>Employers normally will ask staff to recommened their friends for any vacancy in the company as they trusted their staff referral and normally staff  will also  refer someone who is a reliable worker so that it will look good on them.</p>
<p>So learn to network on all occasions  –  attend training courses,  church meetings, weddings, class gatherings, association meetings, etc. Learn to keep name cards and drop them an email  later to source out for any opportunity</p>
<p>There are  four job offers that I have  secured through my own networking resources during the past few years and I hope that readers will receive the same success rate when they network more.</p>
<p>I would thus give top priority to networking as one of my job search resources. This will include emailing, telephoning and even meeting them up to inform them of my desire to find work base on their referral. Many people will not hesitate to refer when they see your urgency and earnestness to find work. The only thing that you need to do is to ask. Being shy does not help you much here.</p>
<p><strong>Meet-The-People (MP) Session</strong></p>
<p>Many people have resorted to seeing their Member of Parliament (MP) during meet-the-people sessions for both job search and financial assistance.</p>
<p>It is not surprising to see executives and professionals  waiting for hours seeking help from their MPs especially when they are in dire straits. </p>
<p> Some I believe are at the end of the rope and really want some form of assistance and attention and why not?</p>
<p>Most MPs  will refer such job seekers to the respective CDCs or self-help groups for attention.</p>
<p>The officers there will  contact them to provide relevant job search assistance. As their cases are referred by their MPs, priority may be given to them. However, if such cases become too many for the CDCs to handle, I am afraid that the sense of urgency may be lost here.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, aid seekers always felt better after seeing someone in power. At least, they have found someone to listen to their problems and needs. </p>
<p>MPs also carry with them NTUC  food vouchers from  which families can use to tide over a certain tough period. I am sure our MPs will readily give away such vouchers if they have them on hand to deserving cases.</p>
<p><strong>Random Emailing</strong></p>
<p>I have also tried random emailing to certain companies. For example, I am keen on the social work sector so I would select a list of voluntary welfare organizations (VWO) and email them about my intention to seek for work in their company.</p>
<p>Surprising, one company replied me and fortunately they were looking for a replacement staff then. About a month or so after the interview, I got the job and left the part time job that was recommended to me by a friend.</p>
<p> I also had a big pay jump (about $800) and have never discounted the power of random emailing after that.</p>
<p>The important thing here is to know which sector you are keen on and go all out to seek for jobs in that area. If not, time and efforts will be wasted on looking for work in all the wrong places.</p>
<p><strong>Conclusion</strong></p>
<p>Some may prefer one mode of job searching than the other. For me, my last four  jobs all came from networking channels.</p>
<p>As I will be out of contract wef 13 April, I am sending out  feelers to all my friends asking for any work opportunities.  This avenue, I believe, will remain an important job searching resource for  me from now on.</p>
<p>I have done away with looking for jobs poring over newspapers advertisement or online job portals. There are  just too many people out there using this job search method and you need to stand out from the many hundreds of application received  to be granted an interview.</p>
<p>As for me, the saying goes:  &#8221;It is not what you know but who you know that is important&#8221; and will remain so for many years to come.</p>
<div><strong>Illusions surround me, so I listen to the sounds of my heart, and trust the path is below my feet. I believe in the meaning of my journey. Erica Ross-Krieger</strong></div>
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		<title>Positive Thinking For The Recently Jobless &#8211; Reading Helps</title>
		<link>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/05/21/positive-thinking-for-the-jobless-reading-helps/</link>
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		<pubDate>Fri, 21 May 2010 09:58:36 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[Number of View: 4798 Positive Thinking For The Recently Jobless &#8211; Reading Helps Written By: Gilbert Goh It is so important to stay positive and  on top of the situation when you are being laid off. Again, this is easier say than done. When one is jobless, negativity tends to flood the mind of the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Number of View: 4798<br/><p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-1585" style="border: 1px solid #000000;" title="31032009" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/31032009-300x225.jpg" alt="31032009" width="400" height="325" /></p>
<p><strong>Positive Thinking For The Recently Jobless &#8211; Reading Helps</strong></p>
<p><strong>Written By: Gilbert Goh</strong></p>
<p><strong></strong><br />
It is so important to stay positive and  on top of the situation when you are being laid off. Again, this is easier say than done. When one is jobless, negativity tends to flood the mind of the person. It is not surprising that the  unemployed are often depressed and pessimistic. For those who are recently laid off or just graduated,  staying positive is paramount to landing the next job as your body language will betray your emotional thermometer during an interview. Research has shown that how you think will affect how you act out physically.  So do guard what goes into your mind daily.</p>
<p>As unemployment has no fixed time frame and light is often unseen in the long dark tunnel, desperation and panic will set in after a month or two of quiet relaxation at home. There is always the fear of the unknown for the unemployed – when will it end for me? Unfortunately,  for the jobless, there is no knowing how long one will stay unemployed – it could be one month, one year or even two years. This is what I think will break the strongest camel’s back. It is like a slow tissue-eating cancerous virus that keeps nipping at one’s confidence and faith.</p>
<p><strong>Personal Struggles</strong></p>
<p>I have to battle an extremely difficult situation at home when my wife could immediately found work after returning abroad in 2001. It is tough to pass the day alone at home when my wife woke up daily in the morning and go for work in her corporate suit. It made me felt lousy and useless. Much of my whatever left-over ego is crushed and esteem thrashing at rock bottom. It took me a long time to get out of the ego trap and learnt to appreciate the fact that at least one person in the household is earning an income. It would be disastrous if both of us are jobless as we still have a private apartment mortgage to pay and a young daughter to raise.</p>
<p>The internal struggles within me are real and this unbalanced situation at home was by far the most difficult emotional battle for me during that period. There is the fear of losing respect and control at home which is so real for the Asian family man.</p>
<p>However one real positive outcome of the situation was that I humbled myself a lot and learned to treat my wife as an equal partner more than ever before. Many I know have lost their families as a result of not handling such delicate family dynamics well enough. It is alright for a woman to lose her job and stay at home for a year but not so for the man. He will be branded a failure and a loser for sure. The Asian man has attached too much of their self worth in the society by virtue of their work. When one loses his job, he loses not only the income but more importantly his life goal and self. This expectation to perform well at work stresses the modern man who will also feel that the world has collapsed on him when he loses his job. We are all trapped by this vicious cycle of performance.</p>
<p><strong>Positive Effects Of Reading</strong></p>
<p>Coming back to my story, it was only after six months of unemployment that I began to realize that much of my struggles are internal – it is more psychological than financial. Of course, having no money to pay bills and meet mortgage repayment is pretty stressful but nothing beats the emotional turmoil that rocked inside a man’s life. Unless he manages his emotion well enough he will face an uphill task to face up to his jobless state.</p>
<p>I began to read a lot motivational books to gear up my adversity quotient. As I am a good reader all along, this was an easy task. I read widely but fortunately, I am more into psychological and motivational books and this was a major plus for me when I tried to get out of the depressive rut.</p>
<p>Right after I woke up daily, I would pore over books such as “Tuesdays With Morris” or “The Monk who rides Ferrari” to stock up those feel-good mind waves. I must have read “Tuesdays With Morris” at least five times as I found the book inspiring and meaningful. I found the chapters refreshing every time I re read them again. It was like I was learning new truths from old chapters. Sometimes, the chapters so moved me that tears would gather.</p>
<p>I slowly crawled out of my dark cocoon for which I have taken refuge in for the past six months. I began to repeat positive statements to myself and learn to apply cognitive behaviour theory (CBT) which I learnt from psychology books. By thinking positively and differently from my usual negative thoughts, I realized that how I think often dictates how I approach my problem. Of course, it is easier say than done and there are occasional lapses back to a period of depression. But such negative feelings never lasted more than a week as my reading habit will jolt me out of the depressed mood. This reading habit was one of the main factors that gradually helped me overcame my depression. To this day, I still read regularly without fail often focusing on motivational material. I want to fill my mind with positive words than those negative newspaper reporting.</p>
<p>Another area that I focused on to fill my mind with positive language is reading up motivational websites. In this world of internet age, many of the materials can be downloaded from the web free of charge. I was told that in future, they will not print any more books but one can just go to the web to read a book. It is called digital books. How cool!</p>
<p><strong>Motivational Websites</strong></p>
<p>Several websites which I often go to for free positive materials are:</p>
<p>1. Beliefnet website – www.beliefnet.com – this web has a lot of motivational material and is like a huge resource center. I read a lot of their articles and there is a daily inspiration story that will be emailed to me so I just need to click on the link to read the story. Articles such as “How to Stay Sober When down” and “Finding relief when you are feeling painful” can be downloaded from the site. A must read website if you are down.<br />
2. Food for thought website – www.foodforthought.com – this is another must-have website for inspirational reading. Every day, a whole story will be emailed to me for my reading pleasure. The stories are both encouraging and motivational and tend to perk one up.<br />
3. Inspiration peak – www.inspirationpeak.com –<br />
This is also another inspirational website and it has a daily story, poem, quote and idea so that you will feel psyched to live another day fruitfully after reading.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="size-medium wp-image-1590 aligncenter" style="border: 1px solid #000000;" title="26032009" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/26032009-300x225.jpg" alt="26032009" width="300" height="225" /></p>
<p><strong>Recommended Books</strong></p>
<p>There are a list of books that I have recommended here for inspirational reading and are available at most major bookstores. I must have read at least fifty books during that dark period and I have listed just ten of my best must-read books here to keep those negative thoughts away:</p>
<p>1. Tuesdays with Morrie (Author Mitch Albom)</p>
<p>This is my all-time favourite and contained a lot of truth and very good reflective writing. It is an account of a Detriot Free Press journalist recounting his weekly Tuesday meetings with his college professor Morrie Schwartz. I must have read it five times over different period of my life. I never failed to enjoy it every time I re-read it. Sure to perk one’s mood up whenever things are down. An easy read on the bus or MRT journey.</p>
<p>2. The Road Less Travelled (Author M Scott Peck)</p>
<p>The author is a psychiatrist and wrote on spiritual psychology often exposing his own life stories when he related certain truth. He also anonymously recounted his therapy practices with certain clients on the book. Dr Peck wrote frankly that life is difficult and we all struggled. The classic was sold over 6 million copies and translated into 20 languages.</p>
<p>3. Rich Dad Poor Dad (Author Robert T. Kiyosaki/Sharon L. Lechter)</p>
<p>This is an invaluable book advocating financial independence through investing. Certain investment principles are worth following and it provides hope that the average person can slowly achieve financial independence through certain well-experienced principles. It is more like a textbook so one needs patience to go through the thick book. Neverthless very motivational.</p>
<p>4. The 7 Habits if Highly Effective People (Author Stephen Covey)</p>
<p>Another classic that does not really need much introduction. It advocates personal and professional effectiveness and detailed seven ways to doing it. Readers are drawn to the step-by-step principles behind the huge success of this book. Personally, I have kept this more like a reference book and would pore over certain principles from time to time. As it is also rather thick, one needs at least a few weeks to finish it but definitely worth the time and effort.</p>
<p>5. The power of positive thinking (Author Norman Vincent Peale)</p>
<p>Another big classic that never fails to inspire which I must have read at least thrice. There are a lot of truths in this book and one does not have to follow the chapters in sequence but can be read in an adhoc manner as each chapter addresses certain issue. AS I like to read in the toilet I have kept this book nearby so that my mind is filled with positive words on a daily basis even when I am doing my business! A must-have book in this down time for the depressed. A cuppa of positive thinking is better than ten cups of caffein.</p>
<p>6. Psycho Cybernetics (Author Dr Maxwell Maltz)</p>
<p>The author, a psychologist, wrote that happiness and success are habits so are failure and misery. It advocated that negative habits can be changed by presenting positive attitude as means for change. This book opens my mind to the world of cognitive behavioural theory (CBT) – the ability to change one’s perception of our situation by adopting a different mindset. It is also written rather technically so only read it when you are clear headed and in the best of mental health. If you want to learn change your mindset to solve a problem that torments you, this is another must-read book for the long term.</p>
<p>7. Man’s search for meaning (Author Victor Frankl)</p>
<p>A book that never fails to inspire even after several re-read and one of my very best. It is also considered the most influential psychiatric literature since Freud. The author, a psychiatrist who survived Holocaust, was imprisoned in Auschwitz Austria and other concentration camps over 5 years. During that period, he struggled to find reason to live as human lives were widely discarded. He later developed the logotherapy theory whereby he argued that man’s deepest desire is to search for meaning and purpose for living. This book should be read first among the lot as it reinforced our value system in living despite the recession and downturn. If the author can go through five hellish years in concentration camps,how can we say that we can’t survive in our own difficulty?</p>
<p>8. Don’t sweat the small stuff – and it’s all in the small stuff (Author Richard Carlson)</p>
<p>A very motivational book that is easy to read. It has many chapters and each chapter deals with different issues. The book also provides a lot of tips on how to keep our emotions in check. The author uses his own life experiences to show how the advice works and realizes that it is not all just theory. Definitely perks you up when the chips are down any day and can be re-read over and over again without feeling stale.</p>
<p>9. Living the simple life (Author Elaine St James)</p>
<p>Another classic that I picked up when I was feeling burnt out many years back. The slogan of living simply must have struck many people at some point in their life. The author had a successful professional career in a property firm but later decided to move out for a more stress-free life in the countryside with her family. The whole book detailed how one can live simply in a very practical manner as she herself has successfully tried it. A book that I have read several times over without feeling bored.</p>
<p>10. What colour is your parachute (Author Dick Bolles)</p>
<p>This is almost like a job search manual for the job seekers. If you decide just to read only one book in your whole life, this is the one! It is hugely successful book with 8 million copies sold and was listed 288 times on the New York Times best seller list. It is not surprising that this book is so successful as it addresses many issues that affect the job seeker. From how to conduct oneself during interview to doing up a professional resume – this book addresses everything that concerns the job seeker. A must have book that provide a lot of tips and advices to land that job. There is also a website www.jobshunterbible.com founded by the author addressing all the issues pertaining to job hunting. Go check it out.</p>
<p>As there are many inspirational books out there, one just need to go to the internet to search for them and read one that interests you specifically. The important thing is to read them. If you do not have the reading habit, earnestly cultivate it by starting to read a book a month. As a book normally has around 150 pages, one needs to read 5 pages a day to finish a book in a month. Reading seriously will help you to tide over those difficult period as it not only uses up a lot of those spare free time but also provide you with positive inspirational input on a daily basis. If you conquer the mind you conquer everything.</p>
<p><strong>Life is unchartered territory. It reveals its story one moment at a time. Leo Buscaglia </strong></p>
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		<title>How To Raise Money When You Need It Urgently</title>
		<link>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/05/20/survivor-series-7-how-to-raise-money-when-you-need-it-urgently/</link>
		<comments>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/05/20/survivor-series-7-how-to-raise-money-when-you-need-it-urgently/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 20 May 2010 07:39:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Gilbert Goh</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Number of View: 18523Some readers have asked me to re post some articles that they have missed out earlier for the benefit of those who are new to the site. This article was first posted in Feb 09. How To Raise Money When You Need It Urgently Written By: Gilbert Goh Besides borrowing, there are [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Number of View: 18523<br/><p><strong>Some readers have asked me to re post some articles that they have missed out earlier for the benefit of those who are new to the site. This article was first posted in Feb 09.</strong></p>
<p><strong><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-501" style="border: 1px solid #000000;" title="eggs-and-dollars2" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/eggs-and-dollars2-300x150.jpg" alt="eggs-and-dollars2" width="500" height="350" /></strong></p>
<p><strong>How To Raise Money When You Need It Urgently </strong></p>
<p><strong>Written By: Gilbert Goh </strong><br />
Besides borrowing, there are many ways to raise money from what we have on hand. Many resort to loan sharks and ended up worse off than before. Loan sharks not only charge an imposing interest of around 20% a month but also may resort to violence to get back their money.</p>
<p>I will try to list out several ways that I have used to raise ready cash during my period of joblessness. Hopefully, this will benefit readers who will face financial pressure as a resukt of prolonged unemployment.</p>
<p><strong>Borrowing Against Insurance Policies </strong></p>
<p>During my down period, I managed to raise almost $20,000 just by pledging my five insurance policies to my insurance company without further questions asked. There is no need for collateral and certainly no need to show proof of income. You are actually borrowing your own money from the insurance policies’ cash value.</p>
<p>I was thankful that during those good times, I managed to set aside a substantial amount of premiums ($500-600 a month) for my insurance policies. Over the years, substantial cash value was accumulating in my insurance policies. The loan amount was enough for me to tide over at least twelve months if I use it sparingly. There is no need to pay back the loan if you are unable to though there is an interest attached to it. I think it is not more than 5% per annum. In the event of a payout due to death or disability, the loan amount is less from the insurance coverage.</p>
<p>To this day, I am thankful that I have deposited such a large sum of money into my insurance policies by way of monthly deduction. During rainy days, the loan that I could borrow easily provide a life line for me to tide over a difficult period.</p>
<p>Incidentally, an insurance loan is not equal to a closure of insurance policies. One may be tempted to close up all insurance policies as premiums are still payable for the policies to be in full force. This is a very wrong decision as our family needs the money more when something happens to us prematurely especially in those down time. One can however ask for a premium policy, incorporated in some insurance policies so that premiums will be frozen for a certain limited period. Of course, the cash value will also be affected when one applies premium holiday in the insurance policies. Do check with your insurance advisor if you want to know more about such loan stuff.</p>
<p><strong>Second Hand Goods</strong></p>
<p>Another easy way to raise instant cash is to sell away what you do not need at home. As I bought a lot of CDs and VCDs during my good years, I managed to sell them away to second hand shops located in some HDB area to raise cash during a very difficult period. Nevertheless, the resale value is very low. I remembered selling away a original CD costing around $20.00 for a dollar and a VCD for $1.50. Handphones are also readily exchangeable for cash especially in second hand handphone shops. Some friends told me to go to ebay website to market my products. Buyers are willing to pay more than second hand retail shops. It is well known that during down times, the Yahoo sales website exploded as many people desperate for cash posted their items on the site for sales. However, I could not find the technical expertise to navigate round ebay website to sell my stuff. I may consider hawking my second hand goods if they bring back the old Sungei Road! Desperate times need desperate measures!</p>
<p><strong>Recall Back Loans</strong></p>
<p>Try to recall back loans to friends that were made long ago until they were forgotten. I managed to savage back a few thousand dollars for a loan made to a friend many years back. I did not ask for repayment as it was a good friend and the amount was not a lot ($5000). Nevertheless, when one is unemployed, five thousand dollars is a huge sum of money and can last me 2-3 months. Though the friend was reluctant to return the amount, my desperation and urgency in my plea moved him to make out a cheque for $5000. To this day, I am thankful for that friend who is willing to return the sum of money which came in handy for some urgent bills. He can choose to avoid me or fabricate a story not to return the amount which actually happened to another friend of mine. I rather not disclose the story here as it is not a positive one. So when the chips are down, try to retrace back those loans made out to friends when you are riding high. It is time to recall those loans back as your friends may be doing better than you now.</p>
<p><strong>Part Time Work</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>I didn’t know that there is a flourishing part time employment in the market until I was unemployed. There are many jobs that pay by the hour out there – the only thing is whether you are willing to do them.</p>
<p>For example, the mover business always have a shortage of workers. Workers come and go as the job is temporal and demanding. Movers spent up to 6 hours a day moving heavy household items up and down stairs. The pay is miserly – around $50. However, when one is desperate such work is in demand and sometimes there is no lack of workers lining up to do them. Due to a chronic poor back, I have never attempted to move furniture before except for the occasional help rendered to help friends move their items when they shift home.</p>
<p>Telemarketing is also in demand, whether it is in a down or up period. They also pay by the hour and can run on shift work. I managed to secure a one-month telemarketing job that paid $7.00 an hour during that period. All I need to do is to contact the clients to change some of their data. To me, it is easy money and my only regret is that the assignment ended after one month. I also managed to make some good friends there and kept in contact for a while before the out-of-sight-out-of-touch syndrome took over. So if you need to, there are regular part time jobs out there for the taking. It is all over the papers and spread also through word of mouth.</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Sell Your Shares</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>Of course, if you have any stocks and shares it is good to slowly sell them to raise cash. I made the mistake of waiting too long to sell off some shares and in the end they were worth much less than if I were to sell them off in the beginning of the downturn. I am no financial stock guru here and the only advice I can give is to liquidate your positions if you are unemployed as cash is king in a recession unless you are in a very cash rich position.</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Sell Your Car</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>A  friend of mine also had to sell of her car during the down turn as she could not handle the repayment of the loan comfortably. She told me that she was very reluctant to hand over the key on the day of transition and was depressed for a while. So be prepared for the day when you have to part away with your possessions. It can be quite traumatic especially if it is an item of sentimental origin like one’s home. This is so true especially for men who tend to view their possessions as a reflection of their status and esteem. It is time to refocus where our true happiness will be during this recession. There should be less pursuit of materialism but more emphasis on building up relationship.</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Pawn Shops</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>Pawn shops are also doing a roaring business during down times when people start to pawn away their belongings that are of value. Though pawning can give you instant cash, there is still the stigma of visiting a pawn shop. I remembered when I decided to pawn away some items to raise cash, I wore a baseball cap to hide away in case some friends spotted me. There is still the shame to visit a pawn shop as though you are a loser which is not the case as it is a legitimate legalized lending institution and can be a source of help when one is financially down.</p>
<p>Pawn shops operated by lending you cash over interest for an item of value such as gold chains, luxurious watch pieces and diamonds. I was surprised that pawn shops charged less than 2% interest for a three to six month loan period. Nevertheless, they only lend you an amount much reduced in value to the item that you pawned. For example, if you decide to pawn a gold chain and the current market value is $1000, you may only get a loan for $750 as if you defaulted in payment at the end of the loan period, the chain belonged to the pawn shop. Suffice to say, pawn shops are also out there to do a business and they need the margin to survive when you defaulted. As you still need to return the loan to the shop, pawn shops can only be temporary emergency places that provide you cash for a certain period to tide over. If you can return the money on time, pawn shops will make fantastic legal loan institutions as their interest rate is super low compare to financial houses (12% up) and loan sharks (20% up).</p>
<p>The major difference between a pawn shop and a loan shark is that the interest rate is very small for the pawn shops and they don’t go around pouring paint over the loan taker’s homes if the person defaults in payment. I am surprised that only uncles and aunties visit pawn shops. Executives need to know that pawn shops provide cheap loans to tide over a difficult period and should never be shunned like parasites. Some pawn shops are well renovated and except for those ugly iron bars that shield you from their officers, they are decent business places to visit. You can even haggle for them to give you a better rate if you are a regular customer.</p>
<p>My mum ever told me that she had pawned away her pair of gold bracelets close to ten times so that she has cash to tide over when we were much poorer and younger. However, my heart sunk when I realized that recently her pair of gold bracelets were no where close on her hands. Maybe she could not pay up the loan amount readily and the pawn shops had confiscated them for sales at their shops. I did not ask her about it for fear that it may stir up unpleasant memories.</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Rent Out Apartment</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>To raise cash, a friend of mine took the drastic step to rent out his 2-bedroom private apartment for around $2,500 during that down period and moved his whole family of four to stay with his in-law in a HDB 3-room flat. The rental amount was sufficient to repay the monthly bank mortgage with some spare change. It was a drastic step and it worked for him. His family was less stressed and life went on as normal as before. If you have have family members who are willing to let you stay with them for decent rental, such a step seems feasible and could provide you a stable monthly financial return to help you tide things over the mid term.</p>
<p>I am sure many others have their own way of raising cash for emergency use. Some extreme cases include selling one’s pet to raise cash whereas others resort to breeding their pets to sell the puppies. Others prostitute their bodies to live one more week. Some I heard went for those new drug trial in hospitals and received adequate compensation for their bodies that were clinically tested. We all have different ways of raising cash when we are at the end of the rope and I should not comment too much here as we all live our life differently. People will resort to extreme measures to raise cash when they are strapped and in urgent need. Some who experienced extreme stress over a prolonged period will even resort to taking one’s life to end their misery. Such is the harshness of today’s society and sadly only the fittest survives.</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Borrowing  As Last Resort</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>Borrowing is by far the easiest but yet the most humbling experience for many to raise cash in this down time. I am not advocating that people who are cash strapped go round borrowing money from friends but when at one’s wit end there is simply no choice and this remain the best option besides going to the loan shark or doing something illegally.</p>
<p>I remembered when I approached friends for loans, I did it when I was in dire straits and that there was no other way out. The thought of asking them out for a cash loan already freaks me out. Moreover, aS you also need to return the loan money, it will be difficult if you have to regularly see the person either in the office or in a church setting. There is also the fear that the person will slip out and share it with others. I would not recommend borrowing from office colleagues as once it is leaked out the whole office will know and not many people will react kindly to such news. I think friends whom you know well and are your buddies are the best people that you can approach for loans. AS they know you well, they are also sympathetic and will be understanding of your situation. Such friends are hard to come by these days and there will be some that will avoid you once they know that you are in dire straits. They will return to your side only when they know that you are doing better. So much for a friend in need is a friend indeed.</p>
<p>So how much should you borrow? I don’t think there is a ballmark figure here but anything between $1000 to $3000 is manageable. Remember that you need to return the money so the more you borrow the more you need to return. Some may also lend you an amount lesser than you wanted and there is nothing that you can do about it. Some may also ask for an IOU and if you sign on the dotted line it becomes an official loan document that can be used against you in the court of law in the event of a dispute. There are some friendships whom I have heard went sour due to a loan dispute and it is wise to lend from people whom you really know and trust. The last thing you want is someone suing you to return the loan when you are still down and out.</p>
<p>So far, none of my friends have asked me to sign anything and except for one none has chased me for repayment. I have slowly pay off my loans to friends but not entirely yet. So the key message here is to only borrow when all avenues are close and borrow from close friends who have supported you all these years. As money is a very sensitive issue, it is wise to think twice before resorting to borrowing from relatives. You never know when they may backfire on you. Many also approach their own family members such as brothers and sisters first. Though it is easier to approach them but take note that some siblings do not take to lending money kindly even for their own kind and this may breed bad blood in the family. So do think twice about borrowing from siblings also though it sounds easier. If they refuse to lend you the cash, the disappointment may be catastrophic for you and even affect the kindship. The news may also spread within the whole family network and if discretion is what you need then borrowing from siblings may not be a wise move.</p>
<p>I am always eternally grateful for my group of friends that stood by me when the chips are down and that is essentially what true friends are for. Those who avoided you when you are down are apparently not your good friends and you can let them go in peace.</p>
<p>Some of you may resort to gambling which is rampant during lean times. Especially for the lower income, this is a form of get-rich-fast scheme. Betting on Toto and 4D increase during periods of recession as people want a chance to get instant cash quickly. Our easy access to those hundreds of betting booths apread round the island give us the convenience to wager some money for huge sums in return. I wonder how many people lost more of their money when they resort to gambling than keeping them in their wallet. I always see long queues of elderly people during 4D days and it is not uncommon to see some office people in ties joining the queue too. I find that gambling not only drain your money but also give you the false hope that there may be real chance of a win on that feel-good days. When the numbers don’t come in good, your lucky days may turn to sorrow. A friend tried this method of putting all his wager money on match days into a tin box. He was shocked to realize that not only the numbers did not strike any 4D prices but that his tin book grew a few hundreds every month. That was the time that he quitted betting on those dreadful numbers any more. However it is easier say than done. Many have wagered on 4D since they are in their twenties right up to their golden years. To ask them to completely stop gambling is like asking them to stop eating. It has become a part of their lifestyle and habit. If need to, approach a counselor to help you ease your gambling habit. Many families were ruined as a result of gambling problem. So please lay off wagering on those numbers that have high odds of striking</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Debt Problem </strong></p>
<blockquote><p>Many people  during financial distress tend to to  roll over their credit payment i.e. they only paid the minimum sum payment. Bankruptcies also rose to 290 in September 08 from August 08’s figure of 240. During the Sars period in 2003, a total of 5,400 people became bankrupt. I am afraid bankruptcy figure will rise in the coming months as the meltdown hit not only Singapore but the world. IT is a global recession and looks very ugly.</p>
<p>Jackpot machines also became many past-time habit during a recession as they give people a chance to make some money and also to kill a lot of idle time. Many I know went to the slot machines so that they can block off those frustrating thoughts on their mind. I remembered I was working then and was addicted to the one-armed bandit for almost a year when I was young and it took me a lot of effort for me to pull myself away from the machine. Many people that I knew from the jackpot room have family problems and they went there to unwind and distress. Nevertheless, the one-armed bandit has being known to be very addictive and I have seen families destroyed by this slot game.</p>
<p>During that period, I lost a few hundred dollars a month and the thrill that I had during those winning moments far surpassed my monthly losses. Sometimes, I would stay the whole Sunday there from day to night. I realized the whole reason I went for the game was that I was very bored and did not have many friends to go out with during weekend. Life was also very mundane and work was routine. I knew I was becoming addicted as I would have to pull the machines at least thrice a week to ease the addiction feeling. I later began to ask some friends out and slowly the habit of going to the machines for a few spins was removed. To this day, I have not touch a jackpot machine since except for the occasional overseas urge especially in Gentings.</p>
<p>I hope that I have given some valuable tips on how to raise some cash during those tough period. It is good to list down those avenues that you can go to when you are still working and financially sound. This is call preparation for the worse. When you are really down to your last dollar, you may not have the right frame of mind to think rationally on how to raise money. Your desperation may also drive you to do something silly to look for cash. So it is good to be ready and prepared when the crunch time arrives. You just need to activate those instruments to get cash.</p>
<p>If you want to approach the government’s welfare arm at Community Development Council (CDC) for some welfare money, it may take a good 4-6 weeks for them to process your application and there is no guarantee that you will be successful. So do it earlier is wise.</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>The fullness of life is in the hazards of life. Edith Hamilton</strong></p>
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		<title>How To Develop Your Adversity Quotient During Unemployment</title>
		<link>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/05/07/how-to-raise-your-adversity-quotient-during-unemployment/</link>
		<comments>http://www.transitioning.org/2010/05/07/how-to-raise-your-adversity-quotient-during-unemployment/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 08 May 2010 05:00:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Number of View: 6072 Written by: Gilbert Goh This article first appeared here in July 09. A friend recently told me that he will be retrenched by the end of July as his company is suffering massive losses from the current recession. As the doom days get nearer, he became rather edgy.  This is his [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[Number of View: 6072<br/><p><a href="http://books.google.com/books?id=xH5Jn9JYPF8C&amp;dq=adversity+quotient&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=bn&amp;hl=en&amp;ei=H61RSqHTLZC-MITg7PUP&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=book_result&amp;ct=result&amp;resnum=4"></a><a href="http://books.google.com/books?id=xH5Jn9JYPF8C&amp;dq=adversity+quotient&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=bn&amp;hl=en&amp;ei=H61RSqHTLZC-MITg7PUP&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=book_result&amp;ct=result&amp;resnum=4"></a></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2040" style="border: 2px solid #000000;" title="ln-sg-spore" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/ln-sg-spore.jpg" alt="ln-sg-spore" width="400" height="321" /></p>
<p><strong>Written by: Gilbert Goh</strong></p>
<p><strong>This article first appeared here in July 09.</strong></p>
<p>A friend recently told me that he will be retrenched by the end of July as his company is suffering massive losses from the current recession. As the doom days get nearer, he became rather edgy.  This is his third time out of work after staying jobless for a few months last year. He only works in his current job for less than a year. He is in his mid thirties  and is married without a child yet. He is in the IT industry.</p>
<p>To cut cost, he also stays with his parents for fear that he could not fork out the mortgage repayment as even new HDB flats have skyrocketted in price.  During the last time that he was jobless, in his desperate moments, he told me that he had to dish out coins from his piggy bank to get by. When he told me that, tears gathered  at the corner of my eyes.  His story reminded me of how I have to scrape the bottom of my daughter&#8217;s piggy bank to get food when I was desperate. I guess many people who are jobless out there are hanging on a thin thread. Many will be desperate and stories abound of how some have to resort to borrowing to tide through this current downturn. The very desperate few will turn to loan sharks to put food on the table. Turning to loan sharks not only deepen the financial crisis due to their exorbitant interest rates but also jeopardise the family&#8217;s stability as loan sharsk are known to resort to unethical tactics to retrieve loans back.</p>
<p><strong>Adversity Quotient Raised During Unemployment</strong></p>
<p>In his book &#8220;Adversity quotient: Turning Obstacles Into Opportunites&#8221;, the author Paul G Stoltz wrote   that there are three kinds of people in this world &#8211; the campers, quitters and climbers: &#8220;Climbers will take the risks,  withstand the challenges,  overcome the fear, maintain their vision,  take the lead and tough it out until the job is finished.&#8221; <em> </em>Stoltz also wrote that climbers  face similar insurmountable odds as campers and quitters but they chose to fight on and never give up. They saw the  value of their perseverance and  also know the benefits of incremental steps to attaining a goal. Climbers are also self motivated and live life purposefully carving out opportunities for themsleves when others have given out.</p>
<p>Many successful entrepreneurs overcame huge odds to be where they are right now.  They took risk and press on despite a tough climb uphill. When others give up, they move on and when they reach the summit, they reap the rewards of their ascend.</p>
<p>One can, however,   never be fully  prepared for a recession unless he has a very strong financial standing. Many people when they lost their jobs understandably suffered from a loss of self esteem and confidence. Some, like me, would hide away in their closet afraid to reveal themselves to the world that they are jobless. The unemployed face a sense of shame often associated with those who are useless and untalented – more of a loser. This thinking is not only erroneous but harmful to the mind. The unemployed face a barrage of issues affecting the mind, spirit and definitely the pocket. The worse is that our  joblessness has no time line.  We won&#8217;t  know  when we will be able to get the next job and this will be the stuff  that will test the mantle of a person&#8217;s spirit. One needs to press on despite mounting adversities and persevere till they achieve victory.</p>
<p>Those who have regularly face adversity in their life may be able to handle joblessness better than those who have a  smoother path in life. Joblessness, to me, is more an emotional crisis than a physical one. If you are hardened by life’s adversities there is a high chance that you are better prepared to manage the emotional upheaval related to unemployment. Those who belong to the optimistic type and are naturally positive will also take ownership of the situation and try to create their own solutions.</p>
<p><strong>The Painful Story Of Eagles </strong></p>
<p>I want to relate a story about eagles. Eagles can live up to 70  years but they have to make a difficult decision when they are at 40  years old. It&#8217;s long and flexible talons can no longer grab preys which serve as food. It&#8217;s long and sharp beak becomes bent.  It&#8217;s old-aged and heavy wings, due to their thick feathers, become  stuck to it&#8217;s chest and make it difficult to fly.  The eagle is only left with two choices now: die or go through a painful process of change which takes up to 150 days.  The painful process requires that  the eagle to fly to the mountain top and sits on its nest. Then the eagle knocks it&#8217;s beck against the rock until it is plucked out.</p>
<p>After plucking it out, the eagle will wait for a new beak to grow back and then it will pluck out it&#8217;s talons.  When it&#8217;s new talons grow back, the eagle starts plucking it&#8217;s old-aged feathers.  And after five months, the eagle takes its famous flight of rebirth and lives for another thirty more  years. <em> </em><strong><em>(<a href="http://www.slideshare.net/targetseo/rebirth-of-the-eagle-photo-presentation"> Click here to see the presentation clip on the eagle story).</a></em></strong></p>
<p>What can we learn from the story of the eagles? I guess it&#8217;s quite plain here that to fly higher when we aged we need to rejuvenate ourselves and often that is  a painful process. This may apply to those middle aged PMETs who are retrenched and battle against insurmountable odds to get back to employment again.  We may need to ask ourselves whether we want to go through some painful transformation or simply waste away.</p>
<p>I must say that once we are able to manage our emotions, it is easier for a person to go through life&#8217;s adversity as he is prepared and hardened. However,  a person can only be hardened when he is prepared to go through life&#8217;s adversities.  There is no short cut to how one can raise one&#8217;s adversity quotient.  I am afraid most Singaporeans, especially those who have just graduated,  will find the journey tough going as we all have a blessed life in calamity-free Singapore.  We do not have earthquakes, floods, plagues, wars or famines. Our population has enjoyed great economic success for many decades and our government is tip-top in it&#8217;s delivery of solid  infrastructure so much so that we are ill-prepared for any upset in our psyche.  Even some of our our bus terminals now are aircon!</p>
<p><strong>Lessons Learned From Our Adversity </strong></p>
<p>Frankly speaking, we can learn much from the current recession. Though the journey can be  challenging and<img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-2043" style="margin: 7px; border: 3px solid #000000;" title="ln-morejobs" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/ln-morejobs-300x200.jpg" alt="ln-morejobs" width="300" height="200" /> hard, I am sure that we all will be much toughed the setback. Some may even come out of their comfort zone and be a better person. Singaporeans are often chided to be kuaisu and kuasi. I am afrid to say that there is some truth to that. Many simply do not want to step out and take calculated risks in doing something that they are not comfortable with. We are having too a good a life for the past decade without having to strive or do much to make a living. It is perhaps this reason that many Singaporeans lost out to their outer Asian counterparts in Hong Kong, China and Taiwan who are very entrepreneurial and creative. Their economic situation is different from ours and they need to be very astute and street smart to carve out a living for themselves.</p>
<p>I have worked in China before and many Chinese people have no choice but to set up their own businesses to make a living. As they have no education nor any connection, many could not find work easily and choices are limited. Many are one-man businesses  operating from homes or sidewlaks. People hawk all over the place and some have operate such stalls for decades.  It is not surprising that due to their economic situation, they have to depend on themselves rather than on the government or their friends to survive. There is simply no choice and that perhaps could be something that we all do not lack all along in Singapore. Graduates have jobs waiting for them sometimes a year beforet hey graduate. Some can job hop easily and others headhunted to jump ship for a few thousand dollars more. We have too many choices for our own good. Suddenly, when the good choices all dry up we panic. We are so unused to waiting for jobs, normally they will be waiting for us and what plentiful choices too!</p>
<p>Some later turn hopeless as they wait for jobs that never come  for many months and some even years. They have turned desolate and  frankly are no longer proactive in seeking after work when they get too used to being staying unemployed. Some turn very negative even rejecting job offers for fear that they could not perform due to their serious dip in self confidence. They could not control their life events and over a prolonged period that will sap out whatever  self confidence that is left within the person. Thus, it is so important to check ourselves and always stay positive. How we react to our situation is more important than the issue itself.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2064" style="border: 3px solid #000000;" title="cbd building" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/cbd-building.jpg" alt="cbd building" width="350" height="275" /></p>
<p>Our natural  tendency to depend on others for a job may work counter to developing  our adverity&#8217;s quotient. We have turn over the risk taking part to the employer when we always turn to others to provide us a job and income. Many have never think of using whatever inherent skills they have and convert that into income generating instruments.</p>
<p>If possible, go for relevant upgrading subsidised courses that our government agencies are advocating all this way but make job searching your own priority. I am not in favour  for people who approach their Members of Parliament (MP) to look for job. They will simply refer you to the Community Development Council (CDC).  Don&#8217;t get me wrong. What you do is a personal choice but looking for work should I believe be your personal journey.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, it takes a a very blessed person to go through unemployment unscarred and any time frame that exceeds a year as an unemployed is considered chronic.  The official tag for long termed unemployed (LTU) is 6 months now and according to last Sunday&#8217;s article (5 July) there are  as many as 16,000 people belonging to this category.</p>
<p>One suspects that those who are jobless for a few years have given up looking altogether and may even need some form of professional counseling to help them overcome certain personal inhibitions. Those who are laid off often felt responsible that perhaps they have not perform up to the mark. This is erroneous thinking as during an economic downturn, employers lay off their workers chiefly because of an adverse economic climate and not the productivity of their staff.</p>
<p>It is common for sales and marketing staff to be laid off on the first line of fire as sales dwindled. Consumers will hold on to cash and everything slows down especially in the retail sector when there is a recession. So when we are retrenched, the most important thing to do is not to blame ourselves too much. Being jobless is already very stressful, we don’t need to over burden ourselves unnecessarily.</p>
<p><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-2048" style="margin: 5px; border: 3px solid #000000;" title="people walking in street" src="http://www.transitioning.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/people-walking-in-street1.jpg" alt="people walking in street" width="330" height="180" /></p>
<p><strong>Personal Mission </strong></p>
<p>Thus, have a personal mission ready when you go through unemployment. Take it as a personal journey that you have to go through to achieve something in return. Write out what you want to learn from this journey of yours. Do you want to spend more time with your loved ones? Write it down. Do you want to take up something that you could not do when you are working full time? Check it. How about trying out some jobs that you won&#8217;t consider due to prejudice or pride? A friend of mine try out being a security guard for a period even though he is a graduate. He told me that though he needed the money, he did  it more  to try out the vocation  to see what it was like.  When he found another job, he left that industry. Not only did he learned much humility along the way but that he had gone way out of his comofrt zone when he became a security officer.  He told me that he treasured his current job more more now after becoming a guard for about six months.</p>
<p>Many jobless people I know volunteer their time at some welfare homes that they care about when they are out of work.  Others simply chill out at home and spend quality time with their family members.</p>
<p>If not, simply let life&#8217;s event mound you and  be asuured that  you will come out a better  person after the ordeal capable of doing something impactful  for yourself and others later on. Live life meaningfully and left a legacy behind.</p>
<p>To end,  Victor Frankl, survivor of the Nazi concentration camp and  author of &#8220;Man&#8217;s Search For Excellence&#8221;,  wrote that he saw many prisoners lost hope in the prison camp. Many died soon after as they could not find any hope in their situation. Those prisoners who manage to rise above the situation and find renewed hope and have faith in themselves managed to escape death in seemingly impossible situation.</p>
<p><strong>What is to give light must endure burning. Victor Frankl</strong><a href="http://books.google.com/books?id=xH5Jn9JYPF8C&amp;dq=adversity+quotient&amp;printsec=frontcover&amp;source=bn&amp;hl=en&amp;ei=H61RSqHTLZC-MITg7PUP&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=book_result&amp;ct=result&amp;resnum=4"></a></p>
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