Support Site for The Unemployed & Underemployed
Wednesday September 3rd 2014

Counsellor

If you have any need, do email an online volunteer  counsellor for emotional support.  It is never good  to be alone when you are having difficulty during  this  transitional phase of your life.

Do give us at least 48 hours to respond to you.

The correspondence will be treated with strictest confidence unless you give us permission to post some of your counselling exchange on the blog for public viewing.

However, there will not be any face to face meeting unless absolutely necessary and this will solely depend on the discretion of the counsellor.

All our online counsellors are qualified in their field. Many people in transition have benefitted from our conuselling services.

We also want to absolve ourself of any legal implications while providing online counselling via email.

The counsellor can also terminate the online counselling support at his discretion if the counselling session is going nowhere. You are also require to sign a particulars’ form for our registration purpose provided by  our site administrator Rina.

If you agree with our terms, do email us at  goh_gilbert@yahoo.com or gilbert@transitioning.org

Our counselling  services are free of charge.

Thank you.

Gilbert Goh

President

Registrar of Society (ROS) number: T09SS0079H

Transitioning – Unemployment Support Service  (TUSS)


Reader Feedback

39 Responses to “Counsellor”

  1. June says:

    Hi,

    I am currently studying a professional diploma in psychotherapy and would like to ask if there is any opportunity for me to work as a volunteer and gain experience especially in counselling.

    I am looking forward to hearing a reply from you.

    Regards,
    June

    • Mahendthiran says:

      Hi June if you’re still interested in a social work please drop me a mail at:

      dthiran@yahoo.com

      I have a friend who works in a VWO and I think you could be of help to him, Thank you

  2. Irene says:

    Hi Gilbert,

    I am a divorced with a 6 year old daughter. I am still waiting to settle the ancillary matters within the next couple of months. I have been going through alot of ups and downs with my emotions. I am trying to look for a job but I find it really hard to cope with my mood swings. I am on anti depressant 2 fluoxetine a day. I went for a couple of interviews but was extremely discouraged when I dont hear any news and now I end up in a low mood again and I cant seem to pick myself up. I dont know if I have a mood disorder or what. I cant seem to cope with my depression. Even lost interest to play with my daughter. Very sad.

  3. Irene says:

    Hi Gilbert, I believe your counselling service and eBook can certainly help me to get out of my current situation depressed, divorced and unemployed. I probably need some career advice as well as I am quite directionless.

    Please let me know asap K?

    Desperately in need of help…….

  4. Mae says:

    Dear Irene,

    I think it’s highly commendable that you’re trying to look for a job, and have even gone for a few interviews.

    There was a time when I was really down, and I didn’t even step out of my home for days.

    Life is unpredictable, and difficult times can bring a lot of grief. Take your time to grieve, and get it out of your system. You may want to consider visiting a church where there are people who care, and could pray with you and lend support. Children are remarkably resilient, and your daughter will also get through this difficult time also.

    I am greatly encouraged by your posting, there is an unspoken spirit of courage in you, and I know that deep in your heart, you know there is hope for a better tomorrow. You are a fighter and you will overcome.

    Keeping you in my prayers,
    Mae

  5. thninkerC says:

    Great, I just get to know about your organization and website, thanks for the online counsellor service, may I know whether you have any counsellor in Chinese or we can write our email in Chinese to the service email address?

  6. admin says:

    Hi thinkerC

    Yes you can email me at gilbert@transitioning.org using Chinese fonts. We will arrange a counsellor for you in Mandarin.

    Thanks for your interest on our support services.

    Gilbert

  7. Choolee says:

    Hi Gilbert,
    I was so glad to have stumbled across this website. Thanks for all the support you are giving to the unemployed. I am encouraged and feel uplifted after so many days of feeling down and in the pits.
    I have been a homemaker for almost 10 years. My social network is very limited and I find it even hard to return to my former job. I am trying to make my way back and wondering if I will ever be up to scratch. Would appreciate if you could let me speak to a counsellor and help me think through my options. Thanks

  8. Irene says:

    Hi Gilbert,
    I think I desperately need some counselling. I have been getting recurring depression for the longest time. It’s really tiring. By right, I should feel top of the world since my divorce has gone through and that ancillary matters are settled. In fact, the court ruled to my favour sole custody and 100% of the matrimonial house to me and I have sold my place finally. The journey has been difficult with my ex giving me some problems along the way but I was able to handle all that. On Mon, I suddenly broke down. I was not able to get off the bus to go to work. For the past 3 months,everyday I psyche myself that I must go to work.I worked as a student care teacher. The environment can be stressful taking care of the kids and coaching them in their homework even though its only for 6 hours of work. Some of the children come from single parent families and they can be quite defiant. I normally get mentally exhausted at the end of the day.Although I miss my daughter when she is in school and I am at work, I feel guilty that I dont have any energy left for her. I cant seem to lift up my mood for the past week. Its like back to the depression period again. I worry alot over how I am going to be able to take care of my lovely daughter when I keep slipping into depression. I am on antidepressant, Fluoxetine 40mg for the past 6 months. But recently, I dont feel any effect of it liftng up my mood at all. I am sleepy and lethargic all the time. I am thinking of seeing another pyschiatrist that my friend recommended to seek second opinion but its extremely costly. I dont know at the end of the day, will it help? I know that as a christian, I should not feel this way. I should trust the Lord to carry me through this ordeal but it is so tough. I know there are people worst off than me and I should indeed count my blessings. I want to be able to do that. I really hate this depression feeling. It has been torturing me for the longest time so pls …. go away!

    • admin says:

      Hi Irene,

      I have emailed you already.

      Please respond via email so that we can assist you better.

      Take care and stay strong.

      Gilbert

  9. Michelle says:

    Hi Gilbert

    I am a stay at home mum for 2 years plus and recently my mil and my hubby wish to resign so that makes me have to look for a part time job quickly to pay for my girl’s childcare fees.

    I was employed by the clinic downstairs, but after working 5 days with the doctor, the doctor attitude was very bad, like when i double check with him what is the medicine use for although he prints for flu and then suddenly he said is for itch then i ask him back but the label here u put flu so is for itch. He immediately scold me on the spot in front of the patient i am the doctor or u are the doctor. and after the patient left , he told me to use my brain i only prescribe a cream and a tablet medicineof course that medicine is for itch and not for flu.And he said the patient do not have flu and u tell him the medicine is for flu he will think that u are an idiot.

    This is the first time I get scolded by an employer as an idiot and was very upset . I know I am not a fast learner and already informed him during the 1 day training he provided me which was 1 hour. He told me is ok he will teach me.

    But once i start the job, it was different. Anything I clarified with him, He will lose his temper and tell me to be more independent. THis is the first time I am working as a clinic receptionist and no one is guiding me how fast and efficient can I be.

    Till now five days, I am more understanding about his working style and understand how the procedure like in the clinic.

    But just don’t like the way he suddenly lose his temper at me and at his patient too sometime that is why i decide to resign

    The problem is the contract that I signed with him earlier on. it stated if he find my performance not satisfactory he can terminate me with 1 week notice

    While I need to resign i need to give him 1 month notice if i work less than 1 month notice, I need to compensate him with 1 month salary.

    I am very angry as after I submitted my resignation letter to him to his recepionist as he was very busy that night and I also need to rush to another place to buy something for my girl. So i asked the receptionist to pass the letter to him with my name and told her it is my resignation letter to pass to dr lee.

    After that i went home, i sms him if he received my resignation letter and tell him that i resigned cause i have found a permanent full time job. The job that he offered to me was a part time and only 3 working days a week. And I wish him all the best too.

    He replied that he received my letter but my last employment date is wrong he said should be 4th april 2011 and not 3rd of april 2011. I told him ok i know that is my last working day then he replied that i better report to work for tomorrow night shift or else he will sue me with a lawyer warning letter.

    I have already submitted my formal resignation letter to him as state in contract . How can he threaten me to come to work or else he will sue me with a lawyer warning letter.

    I am so angry and don’t wish to work for him anymore. But I am worried he will sue me with a lawyer warning letter to compensate him with 1 month salary.

    So wish to find out is this contract valid in the first place

    and the contract also stated my starting pay is $448 which works 64 hours a month with hourly pay $7/ hour and no cpf contribution at all.

    IS this wrong in the first place am i right? he should contribute my cpf for me right ?

    So is there anyone that u know can help me to read my appointment letter that can i only serve him 1week notice instead of 1 month notice? I am only a part time job why must I give me such a long notice in the 1st place ?

    • Gilbert Goh says:

      Hi Michelle,

      Sorry to hear about your predicament with your employer.

      I am copying this comment and forwarding to my volunteer lawyer for his expert advice.

      Hope that he will be able to shed some light on this matter.

      Alternatively, you can bring your case to MOM who will look into such arbitrary issue with the work force.

      Meanwhile, stay calm and do not antagonise him too much.

      Just work your last few days with the company and leave peacefully if possible. Take care always.

      Gilbert Goh

  10. Francis Ong says:

    Hi Gilbert,
    Why at 52 then my wife file a divorce and make me so miserable. We had 3 beautiful childrens. All grwn up the youngest is 4 months short of 21 yrs. Already completed his Polytechnic and waiting for enlistment.

    She even wanted to fight for the custody for care and control. She had not been working for the past 28 yrs.
    Well my this child don’t want to go with her.

    Anway, I am no better than Irene, I booked myself into IMH and really just about to feel a little better then comes this writ. I cannot sleep again. Hope that I can really pull throught the second time.

  11. Richard says:

    Dear Sir,

    I am frustrated and overwhelmed over my unemployment. Here where I am, there’s not much support for people who are emotionally exhausted after rounds and rounds of job applications rejections.

    I found your website as I was trying to seek solace somewhere.

    Please respond. Thanks

    Richard

  12. Pauline says:

    Hi Gilbert,

    I have been going thru rounds of rounds of interviews and there’s still no hope for employment. I am unemployed for 5 months since march. The employers are so picky and I don’t know what there are picky about.

    I am still young and have more than 5 years of experience. I still don’t understand why they reject me. Some of them even ask me weird and unrelated questions during the interview as though I apply for VP or Director position. Come on. I apply as a secretary position and they just want to make me so difficult by asking me difficult questions.

    Sometimes I am really tired. I really don’t know what is wrong with them.

    Pauline

  13. Pauline, see my post in Employer’s for a perm – part time admin exec job.

    It may be something worth considering whilst you find something better.

  14. ivan soh says:

    Hi Gilbert,
    i have the good fortune to come across your good work in this website and wonder if i can volunteer my service in any form. I am in food business (import/export) and also in the forex trading business. I have on my own effort, give free education to retired Singaporeans(friends or recommendations) on trading, in due process, some of them has made it their passion and career.I have also “educate” gambling addicted Singaporeans to make them understanding the difference between gambling and trading. Please let me know if i can contribute in any effort to our society with the little knowlegde i pocess, cheers and keep up the effort.

  15. may says:

    Hi!

    This website, is really helpful sharing one’s time and lending ears to those who are burdened with different dilemmas in life. Being a Counsellor is not an easy task..I, just like you by profession a Counsellor gives time to my counsellees to hear all their heartaches and afterwards, it was too rewarding seeing them smiled at you after the session.

    More power to you!

  16. may says:

    Sometimes, trials come on our way to strengthen our faith in God. We even punished ourselves which He does not like…The best thing that an individual can do is to share one’s precious time to those who are in need. No man is an island, isolating oneself may create more troubles. It is about time to interact and see the beauty of life with others.

  17. Ling says:

    Hi

    regarding Michelle’s situation, I just feel like saying this:
    based on the information just written here (assuming he is only using verbal and not physical abuse), I just think that we could be more compassionate and not antagonise him. He is not right to loose temper, but we inject loving energy towards him, 5 days is too short to judge a situation. In the long run, you are avoiding such person, but not learning how to turn it over to your side. There are many people out there who are managing people but do not have good management skills and frequently use verbal abuse. It is up to us to stand up to it with peace.
    I’ve been with several bosses who are short temper, verbal abuse, and through time I’ve learnt that in face they are the most fragile and insecure ones. The moment we show them our persistence, our strength and peace, they will back down. they only loose temper in reaction to their weakness. So be brave! and be peace & loving.

    All the best to your next job!

  18. AROT project says:

    I used to be suggested this website via my cousin. I’m now not positive whether this submit is written by way of him as no one else know such targeted about my problem. You are wonderful! Thank you!

  19. sarah says:

    Hi Gilbert,
    May I have the contact info. of Mr Ivan Soh, whom left a comment on your website on Feb 27, 2012. He volunteers teaching forex trading to retired singaporeans. I m stuck in a dead-end job, the pay is just gd enough to pay the bills and I do not enjoy the work. I have not been successful in finding a better job. Thus meantime, since I stumbled upon your site & read about some of the comments, I thought that I might as well use some time to learn something new. I can’t afford expensive course fees and thus would like to contact Mr Ivan Soh to check with him if he may still be giving free education on trading etc.
    Thank you
    Would greatly appreciate your reply.

  20. Ivan says:

    Dear Gilbert, I am a graduate of SMU, and have been trouble finding a job for 2 years. I am wondering if there are any opportunities here because I have been looking on craigslist, indeed, jobsdb, regionUP, all for jobs but I suspect most of them are fake or just recruiters trying to collect resumes for the companies which are not even hiring.

    I have a Bachelor’s in Accountancy and Finance from SMU. At 29 years of age, I don’t see much opportunities in the PMET sector especially for males. I don’t know why. But I think employers generally prefer females in the accountancy sector because they will not shout out as loud as males, and are generally perceived as more meticulous than men.

    I am deeply worried that my 2 years of unemployment gap will affect my future career (if it even exists now). Right now, I am feeling that local government do not support unemployed workers, and just cover it up with the news saying that unemployment is low. Truth is many people are underemployed.

    I tried approaching friends and family, but none of them have opportunities for me. Instead they keep telling me supposedly helpful advice like “have you tried this… or that” etc. Almost implying that it’s my fault that I did not hang on to my previous job.

    Also, I don’t have much faith in the governmental national job bank. Seems to be touch and go in this pro-business government.

    Globally, I do sense restructuring trend affecting many young people like me, especially in Spain, Greece and other cities. In some cities like NY or London, people at my age are being paid peanuts or working for free as interns, just to get a foot into the door of corporations. In fact, one may argue that Singapore has real jobs but only as casino croupiers and waiters. That is not a career many want, yet they do it just to get by. This is highly unhealthy for the economy to keep ‘pushing down’ the burden to the young. Singaporeans are smart and good, why should they be ‘cheap’ and devalued by our own government?

    If businesses are so powerful already, why is the government not empowering the people to balance this? Why is the employment market ‘rosy’ in Singapore when there are so many people complaining on your website? I feel the government has failed us all. Especially my generation who graduated in the post-recession.

    • Lianhe Wanbao says:

      Hi Ivan,
      I am a reporter from Lianhe Wanbao. Would be interested in knowing more about your story. Could you pls contact me at 92288736? Thank you.

      Regards

    • Kenny Tan says:

      Hi Ivan,

      I am Kenny Tan, are you still searching for a job? I might be able to help you on that. Please write to me at thelawofpositive@gmail.com

      I have some useful skills that will help you back into the working world.

      Kenny tan

  21. Maggi says:

    There are jobs in hospitality sector, but you may need to start from entry level.

  22. Ronny says:

    I am currently fully employed.

    I am extremly grateful to be employed but my managers and bosses keep picking on me. I just want to do my best.

    i am extremely stressed and have taken anti-depressants for the past 2 months. I went to see a psychiatrist at a general hospital for treatment. All the while, I hide the truth from my company; nobody will understand.

    I feel like quitting but I am too fearful to do so. I am too fearful to resign, although I can feel myself going more and more stressful

  23. Claris168 says:

    Hi Gilbert,

    I am 46yo overseas grad and have not been holding a perm job since I quit an executive position earning about $4k in 2011 due to indecent demands from the male boss who happens to be the owner of the company. I thought that with my qualifications and work experience getting a similar job with slighter lower salary is not a problem. I am willing to accept a pay cut. But 2 years have passed, though I have been to numerous interviews, I never been offer a perm job. I am really desperate. My father even reprimanded me and asked me to throw away my degree and just apply for a sales assistant position. Is this really going to be the end of my career at the age of 46? I understand that there are other PMEs in my situation who has been jobless for years. How are they coping? Is there a support group for us to share our expertise? For eg, someone who is excellent in data mining (excel) teaches another who is good in reporting writing, proposal writing. In this way, we are equipped with different skills that are in demand in the job market. Because I understand that some of us are facing financial problems , and is already in depression mode and will not bother to pay money to attend courses. So if we could exchange out skills isn’t it a bett idea? Singaporeans helping Singaporeans?

    • help says:

      Hi Claris, I like your idea of gathering PMETs who are in need and see if we can achieve something together. Perhaps we can pool skills and resources, give each other support, or set up a small business (sourcing for contracts that can be better fulfilled by a team rather than alone), maybe in the long run we may even be able to establish something to help others in future. If anyone is keen to pursue this idea please email helplocalsg@gmail.com, thanks!

  24. Ms Alicia says:

    Dear Gilbert,

    http://www.transitioning.org/2014/03/26/41-year-old-single-mother-living-in-a-rental-flat-jobless-since-may-2013-and-feeling-depressed/

    Really hope you can recomend job opportunity for the above article by the single mom.

  25. Sian says:

    I’m 46 and a degree holder, but I’m finding it difficult to find a job given that I don’t have the relevant skills and experience in many of the job offerings. I am also suffering from anxiety, panic, and depression and thinking of whether I should see a psychiatrist or not. My doctor suggested that I get help from family and friends, and he gave me a referral letter to the hospital for depression treatment. But I don’t even know what is the right thing to do now. Going to hospital won’t solve my problem of unemployment, and I’m afraid of the side effects of the antidepressant drugs. Is there any website to learn how to cope with depression without medication? I read about psychotherapy and CBT but almost all the websites explained them in general terms as in talk therapy. But I want to use it to help myself. Going to hospital will be expensive for my current financial situation. But not seeking help is also not right. And I need a job too. All these thoughts is killing me …..

    • help says:

      Would you be keen to pursue the idea brought up by claris above? We may be able to help each other, rather than going to some agency whose interest may not be aligned with ours (or really understand our plight). If you would like to discuss, do email helplocalsg@gmail.com, thanks!

  26. sal says:

    Degrees is important, but without experience …you’re nothing. You can’t do the job without training and colleagues who willing to help you.With the floodgates open, with FWs come with master degrees even though from 3rd world countries universities plus their experience… They will be a better choice for those companies who need cheaper staffs. So its good that you acquire some experience in the industry that suits your character and interest…. Good luck.

  27. Sian says:

    When you are unemployed and over-40s, you get depression. You may be able to sleep at night but depression hits in the morning 5am-7am. Getting out of bed is a chore, life seems pointless. Staying at home and lying in bed is a terrible thing to do when in depression. But leaving the house is even worse than staying home, because you generally have nowhere to go but to shopping centre or the public library — where you meet other homeless or jobless people. Watching these jobless people sitting around the library is more depressing than sitting at home alone.

    You can only “work the network” for so long. At some point, if that doesn’t pan out, you are left with no options beyond the job lottery — submitting applications into the online tsunami of them hoping for a phone call.

    All of this is very depressing. You don’t know if you’re a textbook case of depression yet, but you don’t bother to shave or bathe anymore. Your hair is a mess, and you don’t feel like eating. All you want to do is sleep, but you can’t sleep.

    You will read about depression being some sort of natural chemical imbalance. That’s just another con job to sell pharmaceuticals, modern day snake oil sales. The only reason that you are depressed is that you do not have a job. If you can get a job, it will cure you depression.

    You try to get help from Gilbert and his counsellors. They meet you and listen to your story. Then it’s back to square one — you are jobless and depressed.

    • J Y says:

      I understand your concerns. I have been jobless for many years. I was also feeling depressed especially during CNY when I just stayed at home to avoid meeting my relatives.

      However, I was occuppied with housework and reading daily. Recently, my sister was on maternity leave and I was busy with taking care of the crying baby besides singing the child to sleep, washing milk bottles and doing housework and reading. I hardly got time to rest if the baby refused to sleep and started crying.

      I was also not sleeping well, but at least I didn’t have the time to think of those unhappy things. Maybe you can also volunteer to be a nanny to keep yourself busy.

      The thing is that even if I got a job, I would also get depressed due to office politics, long hours, low pay etc. It is hard to get perm jobs now and temp jobs have no job security. Just take one day at a time.

  28. Kenny Tan says:

    Those people who can get an interview likely failed in their interview skill. It is because their CV managed to secured an interview. This is great news! Which mean interviewing skill is the main concern.

    Those who need help, please feel free to approach me at ahken1977@gmail.com

  29. Kenny Tan says:

    Local who is serious and sincere in looking for a job, please write to me at thelowofpositive@gmail.com

    Someone here might know me as Kenny Tan, I am just a normal local who volunteer to reach out my hand to help local to find jobs. I gave a speech during one of Gilbert Goh unemployed workshop.

    Due to some feedback, I need to declare that I am not an insurance agent, job agency agent, MLM or fall under any organization.

    BTW, another lady whom I help just found a job with one of our the integrated resort. Well done!

    Kenny Tan

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