Support Site for The Unemployed & Underemployed
Thursday September 5th 2019

46-year-old graduate PMET regret starting own business and feeling depressed

Hello Gilbert,

I came to your website at http://www.transitioning.org/ and felt that I relate to the many sad stories from those unemployed. I am 46 years old male, and been out of job for 6 months. I have worked for over 15 years  in engineering and managerial role, before switching to start my own online business for next 6 years.

Knowing what I knew now, I should NEVER have left my industry job in 2007 and venture into the unrelated world, and now find myself with no experience in many job sectors as well as a big gap in employment history. I have sent out hundreds of resumes based on my last working experience but I knew the past 6 years of “self-employed” status (and the fact that I’m 46) makes me unemployable. I am lost and don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if writing to you will help me.

I created my own mess and will have to deal with it. But now I’m searching aimlessly for any job, walking aimlessly on the streets to pass time, and thinking aimlessly about how to solve my problems and end this predicament. I am in worst state than any of those unemployed cases at your site, because of the 6 years gap in employment history.

I’m suffering from anxiety, panic attacks, and worsening bouts of depression which I am getting exhausted trying to fight out of each episode.

I have engaged http://e2i.com.sg/ to help look for job, I have asked my family members for financial help to tie over this job search period (which I have no sight of when it will end), and I have been seeing doctors to treat my anxiety and depression. I felt my life is gone at age 46. My peers are driving BMWs and Mercedes Benz’s and holding senior positions, while I’m a failed middle-aged degree holder with no money, no job and no experience to do anything.

What else can I do? The doctors will probably prescribe me with anti-depressant drugs, make appointments to see me once every 3 weeks, listen to me talk ….. and basically can’t solve my problems. I need money, I need a job, I need my career back (which I so foolishly destroyed in 2007), and I want things to go back to normal like everyone else in Singapore. Reading the cases on your site makes me even more depressed, and seeing other people in depression and various stages of unemployment makes me even more sad as I know my situation is different from everyone else, and I have a even bigger problem than everyone else.

I just want to write this letter before my depression sets in and I can’t do anything. When my mind is clear, I am ok. But when depression sets in, I am immobilized and can’t even get to the keyboard. How my life has dropped to such low point, I wish I could end it and start my next life all over again.

Regards,
Siang

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