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Friday August 23rd 2019

Recently-divorced man unhappy with ex-Malaysian army major who broke up his family

Each year, more than 7,000 divorces were filed with the Family Court and many are believed to involve extra-marital cases.

In a fast-paced modern society like ours whereby there are ample opportunities for people to meet one other, temptations abound especially when one is frustrated with his own marriage.

The odd lunch becomes a regular feature in the office and soon the relationship progresses speedily into something more sexual and emotional  - often unknowingly and sometimes laced with a sense of romantic sexual adventure.

However, for the innocent party who is caught up with a affair-implicated divorce, it is betrayal at its worst form and often revenge is very much on the mind  of the victim.

The myth that the man is always the culprit is no longer truth as women too begin to indulge in the male-dominated arena of extra-marital affair.

“He destroyed my whole family!” such words were repeated often by Jeremy when we caught up for the interview.

I met up with Jeremy on a cold rainy afternoon and spent two hours listening to an intense outpouring of anger and bitterness. It didn’t help that the marriage was also just recently annulled.

The couple didn’t believe in a separation period so the marriage was annulled immediately.

Jeremy met his wife when he is in his early 20s – they married after dating for a few years.

I could sense that Jeremy still loved his wife alot as he spoke well of her throughout the whole conversation and sometimes his eyes moistened when her name was mentioned.

The 23-year-old marriage produced two lovely teenage kids and life was comfortable and smooth-going for the family of four.

A sole proprietor all this while, Jeremy worked very hard and  provided a comfortable lifestyle for the   family.

They owned a good-sized condominium and his wife  still worked but more  for her own keeps.

However, Jeremy realised that something was amiss when his wife was out alot mid last year and there was hardly any communication between them during that period.

When his ex-wife wanted to divorce him suddenly and smelling a rat,  he  decided to hire  a Private Investigator (PI)  to track her  down.

The  PI brought back news that he feared most Рhis wife was involved with another man. During one of the trace, she was out with him almost the whole day.

Further investigation revealed that he was an army major earning close to $6000 a month. He was also an ex-Malaysian and believed  to have converted to citizenship when he was still very young.

Most ex-Malaysians who converted to Singapore citizenship  seldom needs to perform national service here due to the loyalty complication factor. It is believed that the ex-Malaysian could have converted into Singaporean citizenship when he was very young and thus is still eligible  for regular national service. However, all this is still unsubstantiated.

Moreover, he felt that as a foreigner who is given a new lease of life in Singapore, the army officer should cherish and treasure his opportunity than go round breaking up other families.

As for Jeremy, his sore point was: “He is earning my tax paying money and moreover how can a senior civil servant goes¬†round ¬†breaking up other people ¬†families here?”

There was nothing that pointed to the failure of the army major to discharge his¬†duties professionally when he was involved in the extra-marital affair ¬†¬†but Jeremy was still fuming: “But this is not right – as a senior military officer, he should not go round breaking up another family. He has destroyed mine already and I am going out in the open¬†¬† so that our highly-paid military officers will think twice about having affairs with other people’s ¬†wives!”

“If a soldier can’t protect his own family and worse fooled around with other familes’ women, how can we entrust him to protect our country!” he retorted.

When Jeremy blurted out this shocking statement with alot of venom, it made sense to me now why he is so adamant  on wanting to expose the army major.

Top senior civil servants Рespecially those from sensitive government departments must conduct themselves properly as  they are held in high moral regard by the public.

Armed with sensitive military information, if they are seen to be morally improper, their weakness can be easily exploited by others out to gain valuable information from them.

Granted that top talents must be paid top dollar but if they fail to discharge  their duties diligently they must also be held responsible for their misconduct.

Jeremy – who lost 13 kg and has to see a psychatrist for medication after discovering the shocking affair, was also suicidal during a very bad spell last year.

His fear of height thankfully has prevented him from taking the leapt from his office block.

He slept in his office mostly these days and only returned home on certain pre-arranged days to his matrimonial home.

“I also want the government to criminalise¬† extra-marital affairs in our country like Taiwan, Philippines, Pakistan, India ¬†¬†or South Korea.” He related to me how our weak morality law here may have influence many people to cmmit extra-marital affairs without blinking an eye or how it will affect other people caught in the relationship mayhew.

A check with the Wikipedia shows that the countries mentioned above have considered extra-marital affairs a crime i.e. punishable  by the panel  law.

In Southwest Asia, adultery has attracted severe sanctions, including death penalty. In some places, such as Saudi Arabia,[43] the method of punishment for adultery is stoning to death. Proving adultery under Muslim law can be a very difficult task as it requires the accuser to produce four eye witnesses to the act of sexual intercourse, each of whom should have a good reputation for truthfulness and honesty. (Wikipedia)

I told Jeremy that though Singapore does not considered having extra-marital affairs as a crime yet it is good enough grounds for divorce.

As we ended the 2-hour interview, the rain began to  clear  and a soft dusk broke from the overcast sky Рlightly illuminating the gloomy landscape.

Perhaps, this is a sign for Jeremy to move on after the past year of pain and hurt.

Written by: Gilbert Goh

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