Support Site for The Unemployed & Underemployed
Thursday August 23rd 2018

Supportive wife happy that husband jobless for 5 years driving Grab

Thank you Gilbert for your concern.

There has been no improvement. My husband is still feeling a lot of inertia and self-doubt.

Even when he is on a positive mood swing, he would talk about taking up a course or becoming a Grab driver but nothing will materialise.

I have been trying to coax him to go for CBT but he refuses. I am also quite frustrated that the times I managed to get him to see the psychiatrist and even the psychologist – they were not insistent enough that he should take up CBT. They cited that only if he believes in it and want to change, then it will work. When a person is not well – how would he be reacting normally to this question?

My biggest quest right now is to get him to see a counsellor , get some help to address his root issues . Without curing his depression, he would never ever find a job again.

Not sure if you think I am on the right track? I really have no other alternative except to keep asking him to see a counsellor or psychologist.

Latest update:

Hi Gilbert thank you for your follow up. He has started working. He finally picked up courage and applied to drive Grab. He feels happy with what he is doing – no office polities, easy goals. If customers are tough, he only sees them once . I am glad for the change, after 5 long years!

Jenny

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One Response to “Supportive wife happy that husband jobless for 5 years driving Grab”

  1. Jia Ming says:

    Hi!

    I am happy to hear your story.

    You mentioned your husband when he is on a positive mood swing, he would talk about taking up a course or becoming a Grab driver but nothing will materialize.

    Usually for positive swing or sudden swing of mood or temper are due to consuming of drugs or even overdose of medicine like cough syrup. When someone is in depression due to a long term of job lost, these symptoms seldom appear. I dared say no one could be unemployed for five years. Unless the person is disabled. But even disabled people can be employed too. It is due to two factors. The first is not willing to accept a lower salary and changed of work/career. The second factor is the unemployed person did not feel stressful enough to be jobless. One reason could be the other spouse is taking over the title as ‘Breadwinner’ by supporting all the expenses.

    As a responsible breadwinner of the house, I will not allow myself to be unemployed even for 6 months. I know I have the full responsibility to take up this role when I made a promise to marry and start a family.

    Of course, I could be wrong that some people needs a much longer period of time to bring up their senses. I hoped I was wrong and not because the victim is on some form of drugs.

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