Support Site for The Unemployed & Underemployed
Tuesday January 23rd 2018

Inside the mind of a desperate depressed jobless PMET

Hi Gilbert

I’m trying to fight off this depressive mood and be productive with my time.  I know I must get to re-write my resume and cover letter, and to spend at least two hours searching and applying for jobs.  But the constant thought about my age and the fact that I had a 6-year gap in employment history made it so difficult to pull out the resume and ‘just do it’.

As I described to you yesterday that I have been finding new ways to interrupt my depressive thoughts, like going under the sun or just go out to meet people.

I attended the first day of e2i Executive Workshop yesterday (Wednesday 9am to 6pm) and about to go out for the second session today (Thursday 9am to 6pm).  My depressive mood is coming back again no matter how hard I tried to fight it off, because I’m constantly thinking about what else to do after the two-day sessions.

I am feeling hopeless and directionless, and scared about my current state of mental weakness.  I didn’t even shower when I came home yesterday, I just lay in bed and did nothing all evening.  This morning I woke up at 5am and then 6am and then 7am ..only getting up because it’s time to get dressed to go out.

As I’m sitting here at home alone, doing nothing and still having no job, I’m not able to find the confidence that you have told me to focus on.  As you noted yesterday that all I mentioned were negative terms, but I don’t know how else to express myself and my predicament.  How to find my confidence and strength?  I don’t know.

I’m going out now to clear my mind.  Hopefully I can get back home in better mood and get down to the job applications.


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4 Responses to “Inside the mind of a desperate depressed jobless PMET”

  1. Noob says:

    Dear Anxious

    You are not alone in your situation. I cannot offer you hope, which I have none, but advices better than hope.

    Frankly, the 101 idiot guides to securing a job won’t work. Reason being, we are living in a very screwed up and faked society. Instead of trying to be book smart and memorize all its theories, why not learn to be street-smart and pretend you are not desperate? In the world of jungle, the carnivorous animals can smell out the weak and attack you with ease. Don’t let it happen and be strong. Survival is not of the fittest but smartest.

    Not having a job now doesn’t mean you will not land a job. Same logic, having a job today doesn’t mean you will not lose your job tomorrow. You are “lucky” to have experienced it earlier rather than later. Immunity often generated out of early “infection”. In this regard, you are quite fortunate…so tospeak.

    Do not let the passing waves depress you, rather tag along with it and do things that make you happy. I know for sure many people with jobs, are not happy either.

    Use Youtube channel to search for videos, from people with similar situation, around the world. See how these people cope with life worse than yours. Internet is the best place to help you “travel” out of your situation and see the world out there.

    To help you achieve out of your depression, you must first do few things which works for me:

    1) Do not watch or listen to any news from our msm. I find most of it questionable. If possible, stay away from your TV set or newspaper.

    2) Do not try to foresee, or attempt to hallucinate about your life 3, 5, 10, 20 years later. Similarly, don’t look back what you have or did not achieve. What is gone is gone, what is yet to come remain very subjective and unpredictable. Thus, don’t envy, don’t fear anybody. Stay away from friends or colleague who like to compare before their days have come.

    3) Learn to treasure each quiet moment like a treasure: – read inspiring book, eat your meal slowly, walk slowly, avoid malls, smell roses along your footpath, put on your headphone and listen to your all time favorite music. Stay away from quarrelsome adult fight, crying babies, loud people in coffee shops. Go to beach, library, parks, farms, and river, and stadium, religious buildings of your faith or of your likings. Sweat it out with rigorous exercise, give your home a new coat of fresh paint, draw or paint anything on a white paper. You can learn all types of skills from Youtube videos for free. There are tones of activities waits before you land a job.

    4) Words of caution though, having a new job may not necessarily make you happy if your boss or colleagues came from hell or the volume of works could be more depressing than not having a job. Your current freedom could be envy for many people now. With that mindset, take your time to really find a job that blend with you. You happy, your boss happy. In the meantime. having a 2nd or 3rd cups of warm coffee, in quiet days won’t kill you.

    5) Do not let your peers or family members become a pressure cooker over your life. They can nag, showed different expression to make you succumb to them. Remember, they are not you, an ignorant them voted a wrong leader, against our wish, that caused us to suffer. They owe you, be magnanimous towards their ignorance. You owe no one and you know your life better than anyone else. So stop worrying, as it will not add a single hour into your lifespan (Mathew: 6:26)

    6) Last but not least, stay healthy, happy and thank God that he allows you to wake up each morning to breath fresh air and walk steady. Not all wealthy but sick or bedridden men can afford such luxury like you now.

    6) As the saying goes, though bank poor, you are spiritually wealthy. More good days are yet to come. Remember to keep praying to the one up there (not our govt).


  2. xyz says:

    I’ve also been jobless for 8 years liao. However I’ve been lucky in certain choices as well as lucky breaks. E.g. started in good-paying jobs, started investing early in blue-chip dividend stocks, worked mostly in civil service which insulated me against the major job recessions in 1997/98 and 2001-2004, NO KIDS, NO CAR, bought my properties during the property lows of 1998 & 2004, able to pay off my mortgages quickly. Have been receiving monthly average of 5-figure income from stock dividends & rental without having to touch the principal which have also grown quite a bit. I’ve been doing temp & contract jobs on & off for past few years due to boredom. I wouldn’t be able to do what I’m doing if any of the “good luck” factors didn’t happen the way they did.

  3. Noob says:

    To: XYZ

    Good for you! but end of the day, all you have are still very transient. If you have worked in hospital before, you will know that life is more precious than just that. You will be wondering how to rid of those, “burden & worry about stocks plunging and property not yielding”, tangible items as quick as possible while fighting with illness. Anyway, good for you to have, but to each his own to find happiness. A small and simple house has more space than a big cluttered house. You can’t tell which owner is more happy simply by judging the size of their home.

    • xyz says:

      I’ve moonlighted in CGH before as Healthcare Assistant, worked in one of the medical C-class ward. The staff there all thought I some Secondary school dropout, but I picked up a lot from listening to the daily Dr’s rounds, nurses’ discussions & Googling those medical terms I didn’t understand. There was 1 week where 3 patients died (code blue scenario). One of them was Do Not Resuscitate status signed by the family — that means if patient flatlines — no pulse no breathing — do nothing, no oxygen, no CPR, no electric shock, don’t insert IV line, no adrenaline or other drugs to jumpstart the heart etc, no operation. But the nurse will still pretend to do something — close the curtain around the patient, quickly push the emergency trolley with all the equipment & hook up the heart monitor to confirm flatline (but this cannot confirm brain death), and call the doctor on duty. The doctor knew this was DNR patient and slowly took her time to come, at least 15 min. I heard the doctor through the curtain asking in bochap voice what happened, when the patient collapse, how long flatline already, confirm is this DNR case. Then nurse ask Dr do you want to call it? Dr said OK, time of death XXXX hours on this date, cause of death blah blah. And then the Dr just walked away. When you in C-class & especially if your family sign DNR form — your life is worse than useless — you’re seen as wasting people’s time & using up precious space & resources. Everybody including the doctors & nurses hoping you die fast.

      Anyway I live simple life — of the 5-figure monthly passive income, I only spend $500 on myself & $1000 on treating my wife & other household expenses. The rest I either pump back into investments or top-up my emergency cash fund. I estimate I pumped in about $500,000 into stocks during my working years — this has appreciated in value to over 7-digits now. That’s the power of patience in investing in strong MNC blue chips and re-investing the dividends. Even during the GFC in 2008/2009 when my stock portfolio went down by almost -$300,000 it didn’t bother me much as I knew my investments are in fundamentally sound & financially strong companies. Even during the GFC, these companies not only continued to pay out dividends, but they actually INCREASED their dividends. How many people can say their company increase their salary by 5% or more during the financial crisis?

      As for my rental condo, it’s a small 1+study in city location that I bought almost on a whim in 2004. Even though its valuation today is still giving me 100+% profits over the price I bought, I still regret a bit becoz it would have been simpler to invest in those strong blue chip MNCs I mentioned. Being a landlord is not that easy at times, and to me rental is not really passive income as you have to put in effort & work.

      As for my residential home, I still stay in the 4-rm HDB I bought back in 1998.

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