7 Ways To Overcome Disappointment Of Job Rejection
Written by: Gilbert Goh
Its true that a job rejection can be as devastating as a retrenchment. I have received a few emails from jobseekers telling me how crushed they have felt when they were rejected by potential employers.
Hopes are raised and expectations accelerated when we went through several rounds of interviews with a potential employer only to be brought right back to earth when we are told that we have not been selected. The blow is doubly hard if its a position that we really fancy.
Some people find the job searching journey tiring especially when they have been rejected many times. Their self confidence takes a battering and it takes a strong person to lift that sagging shoulder again to resume another round of job hunting.
Some have even put off searching for a permanent job and rather concentrate on doing simple casual jobs to avoid the disappointment of being rejected again.
I have listed the following seven ways to better manage our disappointment when we are faced with a job rejection:
1.Hope for the best but prepare for the worse
Psychologically, you lower your hope considerably when you adopt this attitude. Of course, you need to still put on your best when you face the interviewer but you have a build-in mechanism to dampen that hope abit. Disappointment is hard to bear and that’s why some jobseekers even fail to turn up for an interview for fear of being rejected by the employer. Its also a stab to our self esteem and people with low self confidence will particularly feel it harder. Hope for the best but be prepared for the worse may be the key remedy here.
Most interviewers see at least 8 to 10 potential candidates to fill a position and you have a more than 90% chance of being rejected at a job interview - so never take the rejection personally. There will always be someone who is better than us in most cases but we only need one good break to get selected.
2. Its natural for us to feel disappointed
We are all human and have the capacity to feel hope, love, sadness, disappointment, ecstasy, etc. It will be very ironical if we only embrace the feel-good feelings but not to accept the bad ones. Try to learn to embrace the negative feelings such as misery, disappointment and sadness but not to dwell on them too much. Give yourself some space to feel lousy for a while but get over the disappointment as swiftly as you can.
Many people I know will do anything to be happy but avoid the pain of negative feelings by drowning in alcohol and even self destruction. So, learn to accept that it is human to feel sad and disappointed when something we dislike happen to us and manage that negative feelings well.
Do not take the rejection personal and know that 90% of our interviews will always not succeed – we need to find that 10% success rate.
3. Find a safe place to rest and nurse
After being rejected by a potential employer, very often, I would head for the beach to quieten my soul. Its a place where I feel most tranquil and serene. The sound of the waves and calls of the seagulls have a theraupetic effect on me. Very naturally, my disappointment would melt away immediately when I hit the sand and I would be ready to face the world again. So, find a place where you know you can be at peace with yourself. We all need to find somewhere to nurse our sorrow and get recharged to take on the world again.
4. Tell it to someone
Talking to someone helps – its theraupetic to share your disappointment with a friend or spouse. Sharing your hopes and thoughts to someone close allows you to discharge off those negative pent-up emotions within you. As the physical body needs to discharge off our waste, the soul also needs to get rid of the negative emotions. Many people feel particularly calm after speaking out what’s on their mind/soul and some have known to pay therapists to regularly have a chance to speak up on what’s troubling them.
So, always find a friend to confide if you feel gutted immediately after a job rejection.
5. Do not sink lower
Many people who were rejected by potential employers have decided not to job search anymore for fear of being disappointed again. The slogan “Once bitten twice shy” does unfortunately apply also to the jobseekers. Some take a while before they muster enough courage to look for another job again whereas others never really want to find something that they really fancy for fear of being rejected again.
That is the reason why many jobseekers prefer to find jobs that are easy to get resulting in under employment for them. An engineer may now decide to work in the supermarket for fear of being rejected by the employer if he applies for that much-sought-after engineering job. He does not have the self belief anymore to try again.
One should continue to job search as soon as possible after a job rejection and go for the job that best suit his experience and qualification. We do ourselves no justice if we apply for lower easy-to-get jobs for fear of being rejected at a job interview. We also never grow from that disappointing experience.
6. Ask for feedback
Its a pity that most jobseekers seldom ask interviewers for feedback after the interview. Most employers didn’t even bother to get back to their candidates unless he is the person they chose to be their staff worker.
In Australia, most employers will contact the candidates to inform them of their decision and sometimes they will provide feedback when requested by the candidates.
Asking for feedback is invaluable as it provides the person with first-hand information on how he fares during the interview. This can be done immediately after the interview or via an email a day later.
I was fortunate to have met a nice recruiter few years back who feedbacked to me how I could improve on my interview skills. She told me that I tend to ramble on and offered too much unnecessary information. She also asked me to change my resume format so that it appeared more professional.
Try to ask for feedback after your next interview and see if the interviewer will respond to your request. It is a sure way to improve on your interview skills if you have heard from the horses’ mouth.
7. Be prepared for the interview
Many people go for an interview unprepared. They also feel anxious and this affects how they perform before the big event. If possible, have a trial run with someone you know before the interview. Prepare a list of common questions and have a friend run through them with you - this way you will feel prepared and confident. Most interviewers ask roughly the same questions and its not difficult to prepare them before hand.
For example, 70% of employers will ask “What’s your known strengths and weaknesses”?
Research abit more into the company’s profile and core businesses so that you are able to speak the same lingo as your interviewers. If you have some friends working inside the company, speak to them to gain a better insight into the company’s operation.
This way, you are also way ahead of other interviewees.
Most Asians also can’t express themselves well enough and if they have the time they should attend some toastmaster activities to brush up their public speaking skills. We are too inhibited for our own good.
I hope that I have given you enough tips to help you overcome the disappointment that comes with a job rejection. Tough times never last but tough people do!Number of View: 3011