I truly need help I am feeling suicidal at times.
My life has been a challenge since the day I was born.
I try to get pass through by trying to compare myself to the less fortunate.
I do not know how much longer I can hold on. I hope we can meet up and talk?
I also hope you can publish the following at your site.
Hopefully, there will be some kind hearted readers who can provide some suggestions on how I can improve my situation.
If you can, please edit it for me.
I am a true blue Singaporean with roots as deep as three generations and aged 38.
While studying in Secondary school, I started my working life sweeping the streets, literally.
My single mom couldn’t afford to send me to a computer school after secondary school which was my interest.
Thus, I have to work on school nights and weekends as a hotel cleaner from 11pm to 7am but that took a toll on my health and my education.
Not to mention I have family issues.
Unable to handle the stress at a young age, I dropped out of school and literally worked my way up.
I started my career in a multi-national company with rapid rise to management level.
However, armed with only a O level cert, I could not get above $4.5k salary even though the role I am performing usually fetched more, alot more.
When I tried to get a new job, I couldn’t as I was not “educated” enough.
I even remember when I went for an interview with a local hiring agency, the director of the company asked me why am I getting paid $4.5k with only a O level certificate?
Everyone wants to negotiate down my salary based on on my previously earned salary.
This would not happen in any other first world nation as they would not only look at your education but also your ability and the role they are offering you.
To our local HR Folks : Does it really matter what I drew in my previous role?
Would you pay me a road sweepers salary if I did 6 months of sweeping the roads as I cannot get employed?
Staff remuneration should be based on what you can offer to the company and a competitive remuneration to ensure retention.
I stopped work so I can go after a Masters degree as a matured candidate.
I have passed my Masters without even taking a degree course.
For those who are wondering, how can I do it?
I am not ashamed to say I am pretty smart (Singapore Mensa tested at 142 IQ) and anyone I know would easily tell you I have pretty high E.Q. as well.
However, eight months have almost passed since the completion of my Masters and I am still jobless.
I was even willing to take up non-IT role as Condo Manager for $3k.
Though I was able to impress in the interview, I was not offered a role.
Only to find out later, that they were willing to offer $2.8k for the position – which is the same they wouold pay for an inexperienced staff with diploma.
I can’t get government jobs or government related jobs which are advertised everyday simply because I do not fit the profiled definition of a normal candidate.
I also have about $100k in the CPF unusable.
I cant afford a HDB, as I need to be employed and I cannot apply for BTOs.
Furthermore, as I have just gone through a divorce, I cannot get a HDB BTO home without waiting for 3 years after my divorce.
I would be 39 by then and by the time I get a home, I would be 45.
I felt that in my life cycle now there are too many roadblocks engulfing me making me feel suffocated and hopeless.
I now sit in J.B. (Malaysia) still applying for jobs in Singapore while trying to figure out if I can start something out on my own.
Even trying to be an entrepreneur in Singapore is difficult as I cannot afford an office location.
I cannot apply for grants for entrepreneurship as I have a previous company when I started on my IT business.
All those people who support the current political administration, please tell me what is wrong with me?
Am I not hardworking? Have I dependent on the government to spoon feed me? Am I too demanding?
I am stressed to the extreme though I dont show it to other people.
I still put up a fighting front as no one likes a person who complaints too much.
But it is getting to me, I needed an outlet.
Please help…I do feel suicidal at times…the uncertaintty is just too overwhelming for me.
Is it all worth it?
Editor’s Note: We have seen the writer and will assist him as much as we can during this tough transitional period