Support Site for The Unemployed & Underemployed
Thursday July 31st 2014

Jobless NUS Engineering Graduate Feeling Depressed And Admitted to Hospital

Dear Gilbert,

I am writing to you because i think I need help.

I graduated from NUS engineering, and back while in school, I thought that I would be highly employable with people rushing to give me job offers.

However, I could not be more wrong.

When I graduated, we were facing the aftermath of the 2007-2009 financial crisis.

It was hard to get employed and the future wasn’t even in sight.

This was when my woes started. I also began to feel more depressed and irritable.

Things got so bad that I refused to speak to anyone close to me.

Finally, I have to sign a bond with the government where I was paid peanuts – a pay so low that I could even laugh just thinking back.

Just when I thought my woes were over, the harsh reality of working life took over.

My boss was a huge bully but  I didn’t dare quit because it meant that I would be breaking a bond of which the penalty would be severe.

I presevered for a year and after that, I wasn’t offered a place in the company, so I have to leave.

Imagine the humiliation and loss of self esteem…

That was when I got depressed again.

To make matters worse, I fell sick and have to be hospitalised.

After hospitalisation, I mustered all the hope I have and began to look for work  again.

My efforts finally paid off and I was offered a job.

However, I didnt last long in my new workplace  due to some relationship problem in the office.

It was then that a senior manager  told me that many youngsters don’t last long in the company because of relationship problems there.

 I dont want to elaborate too much on this.

After leaving, I fell into depression again and lost much hope again.

I decided that I needed a long break to think over my problems and  where to move on from here.

However, I might have taken a little too long to think over my problems and career options.

I thought about it for roughly 9 months, and now I am worried that no one would want to employ me again.

What do you think is my best course of option? I hope I can hear from you soon.

Yours Sincerely,

Sad Depressed NUS graduate

**********

Dear Sad Depressed NUS graduate

Thanks for your mail and sorry to hear about your predicament.
 
Not being able to get a permanent job may have dampen your morale somewhat.
 
Nevertheless, lying low after that may make matters worse as I guess you  have heard of the saying “Its important to pick up everytime we fall.”
 
Life is tough, let me say, but those who could press on despite life’s obstacles are the ones who will make it.
 
Every time they face a adversity, they press on and never give up.
 
Each time  they press on after a failing, they became stronger and able to pick themselves up faster.
 
Over time, they became very strong mentally and emotionally.
 
Unemployment is a very stressful event for the emotions as it bites at our psyche and self esteem.
 
Moreover, unemployment has no dead line and we don’t know when we will be able to land a job.
 
The uncertainty and fear are real and many people emerged from prolonged unemployment a better person.
 
However, you must really learn to guard your mind and emotions – do not let depressions gets the better of us.
 
If we let one incident causes us to slip away into our cocoon,  we will sure to face many other life’s adversities in future and that won’t help us in our adversity quotienth.
 
One way to increase our adversity  quotienth is to stretch ourselves in endurance sports.
 
I remembered training for my marathon many years ago and I have to follow a training schedule.
 
It was tough but I tried my best to adhere to the schedule by training hard for the event.
 
There were speed training twice a week and weekly those long distance running.
 
We have to chalk up a certain mileage and it was hard work but rewarding.
 
I could feel my stamina picking up gradually.
 
That was ten years ago and I have being running 2-3  half marathons annually since then.
 
The running regime not only train up my physique but also toughen me up mentally.
 
You must have heard  that many people while running in marathons ran with their mind sometimes as their bodies are tired and have long given up.
 
The mind has taken over when the body has given up after a certain distance.
 
If you wish to toughen up your mind and emotions, try  long distance running.
 
It has helped me alot both mentally and physically all this while when I train for my half marathon runs annually.
 
When the mind is tough, nothing else can shake us easily.
 
Anyway, I wish to see you at my office if possible next week for a chat.
 
I have also attach my ebook How to survive unemployment for your reading pleasure.
 
Meanwhile, keep the chin up and try to stay positive by reading up, exercising and talking to positive people.
 
All this will help one to stay on top of the situation as I feel that yours is more of a motivational issue.
 
Hope to see you soon.
 
Cheers!
 
We are here for you.
 
Gilbert Goh
 
Editor’s Note: We will be seeing the writer soon for a session. Permission was also granted to post this mail on the site.

Reader Feedback

11 Responses to “Jobless NUS Engineering Graduate Feeling Depressed And Admitted to Hospital”

  1. MAURICE WILLIAMS says:

    Dear Fellow Human Being,

    I would like to help you see the light through my words. I do not intend for them to be hurtful but for my words to be helpful and inspiring.

    Having said this I am not a professional counsoler or an accomplished individual myself.

    But I will tell you that being a graduate is not a label of victory regardless what the Singapore School System tells you. So don’t be too hung up on not being employed. Maybe the stars have it for you to be an employer…it may just be the case.

    Look at being someone,work hard at this.

    This is very different from being busy doing something. (Which is usually the case when you work for a corporation).

    Do something, do your parents proud for having spent the money to send you to school. Do yourself proud for being a good human being in whatever you want to do.

    Don’t be too upset. I mean this sincerely.

    Yours Respectfully,

    maurice

  2. Belinda says:

    Dear Sad and Depressed,

    Learn to accept that life is tough. Perk yourself up and start sending resumes again. However, in the meanwhile you can try out entrepreneurship. Do so by starting small. You can do it! Just be more confident of yourself.

    • 胡文斌 says:

      Anyway, the best thing about Singapore’s Foreign Talent Scheme is that Singaporeans who SUCCEED in say, getting a place in the local universities can always feel MUCH MORE SUPERIOR to their compatriots who DO NOT, even if they qualify.

      You will always feel BETTER just knowing how GREAT you are regardless of your circumstances.

      oh poon ping (“paul”)

  3. Sye says:

    It is impossible for a gov bond to be that low considering that you are an engineering NUS graduate. Do you mind sharing what is your pay?

    And also, what relationship problems are there in that company?

  4. sal says:

    Doesn’t mean u are NUS engg graduste , you are better of than other universities engg graduates. Important is can u do the job n especially mix we’ll with your colleagues…most bosses nowadays prefer you to blend well with the team first, as u can’t do the job straight away…

    • 胡文斌 says:

      Anyway, the best thing about Singapore’s Foreign Talent Scheme is that Singaporeans who SUCCEED in say, getting a place in the local universities can always feel MUCH MORE SUPERIOR to their compatriots who DO NOT, even if they qualify.

      You will always feel BETTER just knowing how GREAT you are regardless of your circumstances.

      oh poon ping (“paul”)

  5. Sg_global says:

    Basically Sg are arrogant Esp. those who graduated
    From lOcal universities.
    Even those without degrees in the 1970s,1980s are
    Self-centred and will stab each other backs.
    The people in higher authority seldom gives credit
    To those who deserve, not even for motivation.
    That is the kiasu and kiasee, to each his own survival!

    I had a physical impairment which was corrected only in
    My mid-twenties, not in Sg but overseas. I was
    Ridiculed by my peers, even in NS. Sg has little
    Compassion for the handicapped. Children are not taught
    Compassion in the 60s, 70s, maybe not much even now.

    In my heAert, I don’t really have sympathy for
    Those arrogant Sg who are replaced by foreigners.
    I will be surprised my contemporaries who are in their
    50s are all employers and are doing well. Hahaha

    The govt may have decided to teach a lesson to most of the
    Born & Bred Sg, yes, replaced them with new citizens.

    Signed off
    Sg living overseas

  6. Elfred says:

    You should have seen the backstabbing in MOE among fellow Sgs, I left because of that.If your colleagues don’t like your face (or for some other reason), they will group together and stir up troubles for you. Some of them will openly called themselves Christians.

  7. Elfred says:

    It’s all about the ranking and thus bonus

  8. Moon says:

    ‘Bad.Companies.Collection.Sg.Failures’ in Facebook! 1st created in Singapore! No more quiet for Bad Companies! Click ‘Like’ if you’re not well-fed! Else, stop complaining!
    https://www.facebook.com/Bad.Companies.Collection.Sg.Failures

  9. Sal says:

    C’mon Sporeans, you should take in your stride and rebounce back from this difficult time and move forward. If Spore doesnt need your expertise maybe some other third world country in the region need your talent. Life is a journey ….you will be amaze when

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