Dear Nr Gilbert,
I have went through a divorce recently, the final judgement has been laid and I need to pay my ex her and the child’s maintenance fee of $350.
I suffered from Anxiety Disorder and Depression since 23 years old.
I am also a low salaried worker and my income frequently hovers below the $1000 mark.
My friend recommends a catholic lawyer and he seems unable to defend my case well and even tend to support the stand of the lawyer from my ex-wife side!
When I was married, I thought that I would be married happily forever but then ……this is the outcome I got after marrying my ex….and in the end I have to go through the agony of paying regular maintenance fee when she filed for divorce.
I felt really very frustrated at times but yet I can’t do anything about it – there is a critical lack of voice here to represent the interests of our divorced men.
The women can simply file for divorce after marrying for a short while citing all sorts of excuses and after that the man has to cough up whatever amount the family court approves and it so difficult to try and bring it down later on.
Moreover, all this while, the mother has almost sole custody of the child and to me joint custody is just but a myth.
When I visited my child during visitation rights, he shuns away from me and my ex wife also gave me the cold shoulder.
It broke my hear to see my own child running away from me and to a father, this is the hardest part of the divorce ordeal
Nowadays, I dread to visit my child as its an awful experience to say the least.
I sometimes felt very hurt and in my mind I have this thought – why not just i finish myself off and then the troubles will be no more?
Moreover, I strongly felt that this is not the man’s fault but why does the Woman’s Charter keeps on pressing the man so hard on maintenance matter?
I may eventually end up in jail one day as I am already feeling the pressure of having to cough up a montly amount come rain or shine.
Its not that we don’t want to pay but we can’t pay as our salary is so miserable here.
I strongly felt that there must be some kind of law here to protect the interests of our men from being con by the wife.
Now, our woman knew that the Women’s Charter can help them make money …and why not divorce and re-marries so that she can make more money…..and no one can stop them.
I would suggest that a man’s organisation be set up to act as a voice for men who suffer injustices because of our bias Women’s Chapter here.
I hope that more can be done to protect the interests of our divorced men here as a divorce affects all parties involved.
No wonder, in today’s modern marriages, many families give up the idea of having a child – perhaps they are thinking of the adverse consequences of a divorce if it happens one day.
Thanks alot for listening.
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