I am not a marriage expert but generally, I have observed that for good long-lasting marriages, both the husband and wife must be have equal footing in a society, at home and at work.
In fact, Singapore women are now doing much better than men career wise.
MCYS Statistics show that 62% of Women are in Division 1 in Civil Service http://app1.mcys.gov.sg/ResearchRoom/ResearchStatistics/SeniorOfficersinCivilServicebyGender.aspx
Most of the job interviews that I attended are now staffed by female directors.
Other positions such as teachers, HR Managers and accounts are also professions which are dominated by females because they are traditionally thought to be neater and more meticulous than men.
Childhood behaviour psychologists have shown that most males suffer from many learning disabilities. This includes autism, dyslexia and dysprexia.
Some of my friends in MOE also mentioned that many of the attention deficit disorders mostly afflict the males.
Sociologists and behavioural scientists found that if a country has too many unemployed males from the age range of 15 to 30, riots and chaos can break out easily.
The recent PSLE results also confirmed that females are out-performing the male counterparts.
In addition, women now have more CPF than males in Singapore. Click on attached. Last but not least, I was also subjected to blatant gender discrimination at work.
One of my previous female boss hired me because I was able to carry heavy stores but she, being a divorcee, distrusted males a lot and discreetly told another female colleague that all ‘men are unreliable’ during their lunch hour.
In another example, I also observed how a single female manager uncanningly hired only females in her own department while throwing out male job applicants.
Given this silent war between males and females, it is not hard to see why many males choose to remain single as well.
Besides racial discrimination and xenophobia, this gender war will also tear our social fabric apart.
Thanks alot.
Terry
Editor’s Note: This letter was also emailed to Tripartite Alliance for Fair Employment Practices for their attention and action. If you are currently facing work discrimination at your work place, we want to hear from you. Email me at gilbert@transitioning.org and we will get in touch with you.
Man-crimination, man-cession, what have you … it’s happened over thousands of years ever since humans formed societies and lived in towns and cities. Usually happens during poor economic times. Remember the 1970s movie Tootsie starring Dustin Hoffman as a jobless guy who was forced to cross-dress as a woman to get a job? Although the movie was supposed to be a comedy-drama on the surface, but it actually reflected the tough times during the stagflation of the 1970s in US.
Unfortunately in S’pore the tough times are often artificially caused by PAP policies and promoted by the actions of people in power (employers, directors, senior executives, HR depts etc), and also perpetuated by the inaction and complicity of regulators and civil servants.
In other words, you die your business.
I am sorry to read about your plight. Actually, within the female colleagues, “discrimination” between the “rich aunties” and “poor aunties” exists. As the saying goes “Birds of the same feathers flock together.”
The “rich aunties” are usually in higher levels or have rich husbands to provide for them, so whatever they earn is totally their money to spend. They can afford to go shopping together during the weekends and go for high teas, facial treatments etc. They usually wear expensive clothes or jewellery and put on make-up. They thought they are so high class and despise those “poor aunties” who are low-level staff with low pay.
The “poor aunties” usually wear the “same” clothes everyday without make-up or jewellery and scrimp and save every cent to provide for the families. Some of them are single and need to care for their eldery parents. Even though they don’t like the superiors, they will just do their jobs quietly and diligently for survival.
Personally, I can get along with both genders as long as we share similar personalities, values, interests etc. I have encountered both good and bad people from both genders. Some guys got along well with me and the “rich aunties” would get jealous. I hate shopping and got nothing to talk to the “rich aunties” about.
But I could talk about current affairs with the guys. They treated me like a sister, while the “rich aunties” tend to treat me like their maid. Sometimes I had to make tea/ coffee for guests even when I was very extremely busy with work. The “rich aunties” would usually expect me to do some manual work since I was younger and they were “old”.
The very sad part was that the guys would hint to me to accommodate those “rich aunties” since they were my seniors. Nobody ever helped me when I got “bullied” by those “rich aunties”. They just wanted to keep their jobs.
Anyway, that is history and I had left that place due to office politics and work stress. I am no longer in touch with them. The onus now is how to put the past unpleasant experience behind and move forward.
By the way, I also feel that the camaraderie between guys is much better than that between females. Is it because of NS? Some females will talk about their kids if they are married. Otherwise, there is nothing to say besides work. Sometimes, I feel that females tend to be petty and too sensitive, while guys are more easy-going and humorous.
This article by Terry had brought back those bad memories that i used to have in the past.
Me with another uncle always got scoldings from the female IC when we were working as QC in ntucfoodfare. She disliked non-christians & looked down on low educated people. The female HR executive & mgr and other female staff also don’t treat us well too coz to them we are a bunch of low class people. Life sucked working there. One after another, we left.
I was asked to come work at a funan centre computer shop called compustation owned by seaview hotel. Even i told the shop manager i no more interested in working retail line. He told me the shop was down with retail staff, please help. But one month later I was asked to leave by him bcoz the seaview hotel GM prefers to hire a female retail staff which he believe can attract more customers to buy computers. In the end, the shop also closed down due to poor biz.
I was working as a store keeper in one computer trading company in boonlay tradehub 21. The two ladies in charge always nag & screamed at the guys in the office over some small matters. Even when we complained to the boss & lady boss also no use coz they trusted them & not us. In the end, all the sales executive & storekeepers left. We just couldn’t put up with them anymore. Once sales executive left, they will bring customers away too. Once storekeeper left, no one attend to logistics issue. In the end, the company also closed down due to poor biz.
You sound like a straigthforward person. It is true that many people got bullied by people who are usually of higher ranks. I think it is somehow fated that some people are so unlucky everywhere they go. Even though they worked hard, there are bound to be people who dislike them.
There are many problems in the world that cannot be solved and bullying is just one of them.
Maybe you can try to do a personality test online to find those jobs that are suitable for you first before taking your next step.
You don’t seem like a nasty person. Why don’t you try to be a cabbie? You can entertain your passengers with your many life stories. I have thought of being a cabbie, but I don’t have a driving licence. Also, I cannot read maps very well and sometimes got lost in Singapore.
Some survey said even females prefer male bosses.