Support Site for The Unemployed & Underemployed
Friday October 31st 2014

26-year-old Singaporean Woman Prefers To Be Single Now

DPM Teo Chee Hean  has said  during the Committee of Supply Debate in Parliament that because of our low birth rate, we will have to import more new immigrants. 

The Minister of Home Affairs also said that without immigration, more than 1 in 4 citizens will be 65 years old and older in 2030 given the current birth rates.

However, I have seen many Generation X Singaporean females who have resisted tying the knot due to various reasons. Most are successful, articulate and beautiful and probably have a string of suitors bidding for their hand.

I have also met some local guys who are not so keen to date our local gals especially if they are not doing so well in the career department.

Moreover last year, 40% of our marriages involved a foreigner meaning that more locals are open to the idea of dating and marrying foreigners.

We are fortunate to have a 26-year-old female young graduate responding to our online questionaire on why she delayed dating seriously and walking down the aisle.

Describe abit about yourself e.g. your age, qualification and work experience.

Name: Rossana Chen, 26

Qualification: Bachelor of Counselling cum Post Graduate Diploma in Counselling.

Currently pursuing Master of Counselling.

Been working for the past 6 ½ years in a local training company as a Regional Manager in the area of training, learning and development for the youth sector.

You mention that you are currently single right now, any reasons on doing so? Is it a choice or a necessity?

Currently single by choice.

Have yet meet guy that I would want to consider dating and having relationship. So stay single. Open to meeting new people.

How many guys have you dated so far and are all of them local Singaporeans?

Dated a few. All of them are local.

Are you open to dating and marrying foreign guys? Why so?

I wouldn’t say never or absolute no.

Open to dating foreign to try out.

As for marrying to a foreigner - this   can have  many differences in values, beliefs and culture which can add to the marriage stressors hence it will not be my ideal choice.

What do you think are the issues facing our local guys right now? Many local guys mention that they are hard to please and demanding – do you agree?

There are more females, like myself, receiving higher education and affirmation in the working society and therefore it would also mean that there will be competition between male and female. My guy friends wouldn’t like the idea that I earn more than them and hold a more senior position in the work place. As a female, I wish that my ideal partner  has the  ability to earn more than me. The real issue that everyone is facing, not only from the guys, is societal competition.

Are there any difference between our local and the foreign men?

Certainly there will be difference. Even 2 local guys would have differences.

Is just the degree of the difference and how compatible in the aspect of relationship.

Besides the difficult dating scene here, what are other barriers that prevent you from getting hitched?

I do attribute my “not attached” status to the commitments that I have.

Beside a “9am to 6pm” job which often end later than 6pm. I am also pursuing part time higher education and I volunteer my spare time to contribute back to my former secondary school as the School Advisory Committee and the Alumni Committee.

And of course the high and getting higher in term of living standards is one of the main reason that is holding me back in settling down and wanting to have a family.

Do you think that our housing policy is one of the main reasons deterring our young couples from settling down? What are some of the things you hope will change in our housing policy?

Certainly! A simple 4-Room HDB with loan of $300K would mean a monthly installment of $1.4K – $1.5K. Which is easily 25% of a $6K combined income. This is exclusive of money spent into wedding, renovation, daily expenses, monetary contribution to own family of origin etc etc … Unless couples stay with parents. Still the only guaranteed is that housing price will keep increasing.

If you are married in future, how many kids will you want for the family?

Min: 2, Ideal: 3, Max: 4-5.

That’s provided that my husband and I can afford.

The expenses would mean the need for higher earning capability.

Do you think it is better off married or being single personally? Describe your reasons.

There is no better off. Both will be good choices.

Married – live happily, meaningfully and purposefully with family.

Single – live happily, meaningfully and purposefully with myself.

What make a difference is how I resonate with my decision.

End of interview and thanks!

Reader Feedback

20 Responses to “26-year-old Singaporean Woman Prefers To Be Single Now”

  1. Koh says:

    For the first time, an interview with a local girl who expresses practical views on a thorny issue without bashing local men!

    Kudos to you Rossana, may you find happiness in your life, whatever that may be!

  2. a says:

    So money is still number 1, e.g. higher income earning ability, more lucrative career line etc. Not surprising in Singapore — it’s what parents, teachers and govt have taught to us over 50 years.

    After that is having similar values, outlook, beliefs etc that will enable to build and maintain relationship.

    2-3 kids?? Sorry, with your mindset and values, you will need to have household income of AT LEAST $10,000 per month TAKE HOME PAY. Otherwise I guarantee you will not be happy.

    One issue I have with this lady’s thinking (and I suspect most people in S’pore too) is that in future if life doesn’t work out as planned and if there is financial setback and need for belt-tightening, the marriage will be in trouble. The problem is that in Singapore, as you get older, it is becoming more & more easy to fall between the cracks and face joblessness and financial hardship even if you have degree or masters.

    • Tim says:

      Be realistic. No point starting a family and let your kids suffer if you cannot afford to provide for them and let them fulfil their full potential. This is no longer the 60s when a poor family of ten kids will turn out fine. The children of today have to fight for resources with billions of other people.

      • Rossana says:

        Precisely that the kids are suffering now because all have been provided for them.

        Is character that is more important.I don’t come from rich family – and that’s where I learn to earn by myself and not wait for people to provide.
        Tough time bring out the best in a person. Knowing how to survive is essential then to do well with all resources being provided.

        When a family work hard together – it bond the family better. This, to me is how resilience is instill in an individual.

        • Tim says:

          Yeah, explain character building to the 40-year old Singaporean cleaner whose parents were too poor to send him to school.

          I am not talking about being rich and giving them iphones in primary school, I am talking about providing enough resources for children to develop to their full potential. Your parents managed to send you to university didn’t they? Don’t take this for granted and think you did it all by yourself.

          • Rossana says:

            My mother is a 50 years old cleaner.
            She babysit, study english by herself.
            Learn japanese by her own. Had less than 4 years of formal education in Primary School and had to work as domestic helpful to support her family.
            She knows the world news better than I do. She is the real testimonal of survival. She raised 2 kids up mostly on her own, difficult time yet 2 kids learn the most in life skills.

          • Tim says:

            My mother was also a cleaner and I am doing fine. However, my friend from a poor family didn’t do so well. He didn’t get education opportunities and is now struggling in life. He is miserable. Our success cases of getting out of poverty trap is only about 20% according to statistics. So what happens to the 80%? Console themselves they are building character?

            This figure is going to get lower with global competition. Perhaps I am more realistic, but I wouldn’t recommend someone to have children if their children have less than 20% chance of breaking out of poverty cycle.

          • Rossana says:

            Yes Tim, do not recommend to anyone with poverty mindset to have kids! Please do that to only people who strive and are positive in life.

            People who do not take responsibility in making things happened for themselves will not be excellent role model for their children – this will be a very scary vicious cycle.

  3. jj says:

    No money, no talk; no money, no honey. Yap, S11 is still the number 1 factor.

    http://www.azchords.com/c/claptoneric-tabs-4988/nobodyknowsyou-tabs-103111.html

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVdXEm58Wl8&feature=related

    I think this song by Eric Clapton says it all.

  4. Rossana says:

    Hi Koh, thank you for your nice words.

    Hi A, thank you for sharing your perspective. Perhaps the way that I have replied in the interview gave you the impression that money is no 1. For my case, money is important yet not number 1.

    Personally, I don’t need a 10K combined income to have 2-3 kids for the lifestyle that I yearn for.
    Happiness cannot be only determined that money. If happiness is measured by the amount of money, then the gurantee is unhappiness. There are more factors that contribute to happiness.

    It is an individual positivity, versatility and willingness to change and evolve for betterment that will be useful – always.

    What will make a difference where or not when one falls into cracks is the positive mindset. Blaming, giving excuses and giving up will certainly not be useful and will not help to get out of difficulties.

  5. chillax says:

    Money makes people happy, i bet if Ms Rossanna met a guy that would give her a 10k allowance monthly, she would compromise on everything she used to list out. I know

    Ah…..dont argue

  6. Rossana says:

    Hi Chillax,

    You would be very disappointed to know that Ms Rossana is not a superficial creature. People who measure happiness to money has got no value. I would have easily married to a rich guy if I had not stand by my values and this interview wouldn’t be possible. The values, believe and opinions you hold dearly to reflect you as a person. Determine what you stand for and stand by.

    • koh says:

      Hi Rossana, I hope you don’t mind if I leave you suggestion – I understand that you said in the interview that you would prefer someone who earns more than you, but I do think you would do well to consider instead a man with integrity and passion for what he does, even if he presently earns less than you. If you value a person’s integrity and positivity over his present earning power, you are valuing the person’s actual potential to generate true sustainable wealth. Chances are even if he is earning less than you or than his peers now that he will overtake everyone in 5 years.

      My wife and I never really tried to short-cut our success routes; we just stuck to working in areas we knew we were good at, and more importantly, doing what we did with as much honesty and integrity as we possibly could. We are both now taking home a very comfortable combined income, but we don’t take it for granted and we give about 15% of our take home income to various charitable causes. Say what you will, but I actually believe that we actually became successful BECAUSE of our giving and NOT in spite of it – what I’m ultimately saying is that money may be important, but it isn’t everything. Once you learn to give it away, you learn to find happiness in other areas; and as you work hard and work honestly, you don’t chase after success, instead you end up seeing that success finds you.

      Just only my humble opinion and I hope that you find some of what I say useful :)

      • Rossana says:

        Hi Koh

        Thank you for your comment.

        Yes. Values – integrity.
        People with real values are the one who are richer.
        Totally agree.

  7. jj says:

    Poor singapore man & poor singapore woman.

    Poor singapore man who has to prove themselves with higher education & higher earning powers in order to marry a higher edu & hgher earning power singapore woman. If not, have to marry foreigner woman.

    Poor singapore woman who has received higher edu & equip with better earning power has to target only those man that higher edu & hgher earning powers. If not, rather remain single.

    This is not a good modern society.

    Money, money, money
    Must be funny
    In the rich man’s world

  8. Fadil says:

    Phew! No male bashing here, what a fresh change of air! I also liked the fact that the author did not express so much hype over foreign men as compared to local men.

  9. [...] man?” March 3, 2012“We dont want motivation but we want transformation!” March 2, 201226-year-old Singaporean Woman Prefers To Be Single Now March 1, [...]

  10. rasheed says:

    i am looking singaporean woman for marry me i am 36 mail age desn’t matter my e mail rasheedmtp123@gmail.com

  11. manson says:

    26 can still be single. 10 years down the road when you are 36 let hear from you still single and can surely say single. if you never marriage, raise a family and bring up your kids, you never live life.

Leave a Reply