My name is Peter and I am 46 years old. My wife and I now live separately and the divorce will be finalised after 3 years of separation according to the Singapore’s divorce law.
I honestly did not see it coming until about 2 months ago. My wife wanted a divorce and the reason she gave me at that time was that she is feeling very tired and earned more than I do. It hit me real hard and naturally my ego was seriously bruised.
I’m totally lost now and felt very useless. Perhaps, my situation is common in Singapore currently as our women earn more than their husbands given the equal opportunities available for both gender.
But the fact is both of us have had our good times when we were married.
Who doesn’t want to give their wife and family a better life?
Its tough and I’ve tried very hard indeed to provide a better lifestyle for the family but I have my limitations.
I have also tried to talk to her to save the marriage but to no avail.
YES, I admitted that 3 weeks later when she broke the bad news to me, I felt very lost and was tired of living.
I cut myself and honestly wanted to end my life instead of thinking about losing someone I’ve loved deeply for many years.
Now, my family and siblings doesn’t talk to me at all. I have very few friends. I also don’t have the support of my family when I’ m down.
Sadly, I m sure many other guys may have similar experiences – that their wives left them because they couldn’t earn the respect of their spouses through a better pay package. I felt depressed and useless for not been able to keep my marriage. Thank you for listening…life indeed is meaningless and I’ m extremely tired….Thanks for letting me vent out because I really have no one to turn to.
PS: We are trying to connect with this reader as this comment appeared on the article “Men more likely to commit suicide after divorce”. If you are the person mentioned, please email me at gilbert@transitioning.com or goh_gilbert@yahoo.com. We have a team of volunteer counsellors who can provide you with anonymous online counselling support. There is life after divorce and many people have live on meaningfully after a nasty divorce. Don’t waste your life away and seek help now. We are here for you - Gilbert
While I don’t advocate divorce I do feel that sometimes it is inevitable. I tried everything I could to save my marriage and it didn’t work. Now I am a single Dad (yes I have full custody) with 3 kids. The divorce was hard on them but they are so much better off now. I got a lot of information and advice for divorce from http://www.dadsdivorce.com.
Divorce is a bad word.If no other choices,it could be a good move.Be positive,you can have better planning all by yourself without any interference.Life is short.Better to live life more conducive and unnessarily stress than previous one.
Move on to your next Life challenge. Take it as a 2nd chance & refresh yourself. Don;t be surprise it turn out to be a blessing.
i highly doubt any woman would leave their husband just because their husband’s pay is lower. There could be many reasons, eg. emotional distancing, affairs, lack of respect from either party, even abuse.
Hi Peter,
Sometimes things happen and we asked questions like :
Why it happen to me ?
What have I done wrong ?
etc
These questions does not help one and will spiral down and make one feel worse.
The fact is something happen but as human, we have a choice to choose on how to react to it.
On the good side, look at the simple things in life and appreciate them. Express gratitude to all people who had helped you.
eg. a bowl of rice, you may see the seller … but behind it comes a lot of people help (farmer, wholesaler, transportation, etc) before it reach you.
Slowly build on good thoughts, let go of negative emotions (guilt, frustation, etc) … forgive and let this whole episode go.
You can then move forward, few years later you will see the value of this episode, will become stronger and better.
good luck … may peace be with you.
Singapore women are money faced. Even foreign embassies warn their own citizens over local women who swindle men using women’s charter to settle $$$ out of court. Time to move on. Make sure you look forward to a foreign woman who will look after you.
Local women are useless sluts. Most of them go for only 2 thing, ang moh or money. Its money that is attractive to these local women and nothing else. Most of them define beauty through their expensive lifestyles which makes them even uglier. If they have no money to fund their lavish lifestyle, who will they look for? A pathetic local man who is blinded by love. Don’t waste time on local leeches and start looking into our neighbouring countries where women are much more beautiful and modest than local fuglies.
well at least u have a job why can u just man up & get on with life. How about going online to look for women, hang out at bars it won’t cost much anyway. Sooner or later u might die of loneliness so it’s best u start soon.