Abuse of seniors: Blame it on caregivers’ stress (ST 22 Oct)
Abuse of seniors: Blame it on caregivers’ stress
Children may act out of sheer frustration but have no intention to hurt the elderly
By Theresa Tan
ALMOST every evening, an elderly man would complain to the police that his family had locked him out of his house.
A case of abuse or a family at its wits’ end?
It transpired that the man’s family did so as he had the habit of roaming the streets aimlessly and, while in the house, switching the stove on and off. Afraid that he would set the house on fire, his family members locked him out when they went to work and let him back in when they returned home.
The police referred the man to a centre that helps victims of family violence, and a social worker there advised his family to get him medical help.
As the social worker predicted, the reason for the habits that stumped the man’s family was that he had moderate dementia. Knowing this, the family supervised the man more closely, but as his condition deteriorated and they could not cope, they sent him to a nursing home.
Minister for Community Development, Youth and Sports (MCYS), Dr Vivian Balakrishnan, highlighted this real example yesterday in a symposium on family violence, as he dwelt on the principles that should guide agencies tackling the ’scourge’ of elderly abuse.
The first was to ask whether the family unit is equipped with the knowledge and skills to cope with the needs of the elderly. This is critical as seven in 10 of the elderly live with their families and many are dependent on them for their care. Of the 178 or so cases of abuse of the elderly reported every year, about two-thirds – or some 120 – of them were old people who suffered at the hands of their own children.
‘Abuse by caregivers, in some instances, may reflect their inability to deal with the stress and difficulties of care-giving, rather than malice,’ Dr Balakrishnan said.
The example he gave illustrated the despair faced by one such family. The action taken later to help them – involving police, social workers and health-care staff – demonstrated the other principles he defined for dealing with elderly abuse: A comprehensive approach, with multi-agencies collaborating to find a solution for the victim and family.
While the number of abused seniors have remained ’small’, Dr Balakrishnan expects the number to grow given the rapidly ageing population. An MCYS spokesman said last year’s statistics showed that seniors aged 80 and older were the most vulnerable to abuse. ‘The older ones are more vulnerable as they are more dependent on their children for their daily needs and less likely to speak out,’ she added.
Social workers interviewed say other reasons for the abused elderly’s reluctance to report the hurt they have suffered include sparing their children shame or prison time. Often, the abuse is reported by health-care workers, neighbours and relatives.
Ms Chow Choy Yin – executive director of Trans Centre, which helps victims of family violence – agreed that many children take out their frustrations on their parents when they are stressed, and not because they want to hurt them.
She cited the case of a bachelor who gave up his job to look after his bedridden mother, who suffers from dementia. The man, in his 40s, had hit his mother at least once because he was so worn out by having to see to her every need.
Besides physical violence, abuse can take the form of neglect – by not taking them to the doctor when they are ill or not giving them food. Then, there are those who cheat their parents of their money.
Yesterday, a revised manual to manage family violence cases was released with new chapters on what staff at polyclinics, schools and the Community Court should do when they come across a victim.
If you need help, call the ComCare Helpline on 1800-222-0000, the Centre for Promoting Alternatives to Violence on 6555-0390 or Safe@Trans on 6449-9088.
theresat@sph.com.sg
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