Tips for Parents
Did you read the report of the 9-year-old who was killed in an accident on her way to school (The Straits Times,16 Sept 2009)? What added to the sadness was the father’s statement that “There are so many things I haven’t done with her yet.”
For most of us, there will be many things we haven’t done with our children yet. We live busy lives, with work and other demands crowding out the time and attention that we want to give to our families.
What is your goal this week as regards your job? I am sure you have little difficulty answering this question – you know the tasks that need to be accomplished, the reports to be submitted, etc.
What is your goal this week as regards your family? Many people have difficulty answering this question. And because there is no clearly identified goal or task to focus on, their attention and energy is focused elsewhere. Commonly, these persons feel guilty that they are not giving enough time to their families.
On the other hand, if we plan and identify our family goals for the coming week, we would be more likely to organize ourselves to accomplish these goals. For instance, one goal could be to take your spouse out on a romantic dinner or a movie. (When was the last time you dated each other?) As a parent, the goal could be to take your child to the zoo, the park, a school function or to do whatever you’ve promised.
Some goals, it is true, may be difficult to schedule, for instance, having a talk with your adolescent on a particular matter. It is nonetheless useful to set this as your goal and to indicate this as a priority for the week. This way, you are looking for the right occasion, and if it surfaces spontaneously, you are ready to take advantage of the opportunity. If it hasn’t happened and you’re almost at the end of the week, you know you may have to create the occasion, for instance by inviting your adolescent to have dinner with you one-on-one (that is, just the two of you).
What is your goal as a spouse this week? as a parent?
Prepared by John Ooi of Touching Lives Pte Ltd. He can be contacted at john@touchinglives.com.sg.
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