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I refer to “Can’t legislate love” (Aug 20).
I agree with our Minister for Community Development, Youth, Youth and Sports Mr Vivian Balakrishnan that our society faces an “escalating situation” when it comes to caring for our aged parents.
The problem has arisen because parents worked very hard the whole day long just to bring home the bacon. Fathers especially were always “absent”.
Children thus failed to connect with their parents and they grew up having no emotional alliance with them besides sharing the same roof and the same surname. Many aged parents are in for a rude shock if they think that their children will care for them when the need arises as they thought that what they have done earlier as parents will be reciprocated by their children. Besides providing physical needs, parents need to connect with their children emotionally, too.
With more children coming from dysfunctional families when marriages end in divorce these days, the problem may escalate in the near future with some children even hating their parents. The current recession also adds to a growing concern that some families may have little left over to provide for their aged parents. Our small family size nowadays also does not allow the care to spread around a bit more than before when families used to be larger in size.
For example, I only have a younger brother and we take turns to care for our aged mother who two years ago had a stroke. Before that, she used to stay over at our homes a few days at a time and we all got to enjoy her company.
I guess my mum these days prefer us to be around by her side than just giving her cash. Though providing for their physical needs are important, our parents may simply want us to respect and love them more than anything else.
My mum now stays over at my brother’s place permanently as she is no longer mobile and both of us have engaged a maid to take care of her physical needs. I have also relocated to Sydney recently. I try to call mum as often as I can and return home once every few months to see her. She struggled to supplement the little income that our father brought in when we were young and it is only right that we love her just as unconditionally back now.
Doing anything less is almost criminal here.
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