Opinion
My journey to cancer hell and back

By Jim Stynes

Herald Sun

July 17, 2009 12:01am

Amazing journey … Jim Stynes enjoys time with wife Sam and their children Matisse and Tiernan. Picture: Craig Borrow

THE past few weeks have reinforced my belief that life and people are amazing.

Being diagnosed with cancer seems to have caused a ripple effect on many people, evident by the thousands of emails, text messages, cards and gifts.

I am genuinely overwhelmed and I really don’t know how to find the best words to say thank you to all the wonderful people who have taken precious time out to be so supportive.

I understand being involved in footy in this country brings with it some more attention, but the sincerity of people’s goodwill and kindness has been far more than I could ever imagine.

With all this healing support, I have the best shot possible of making a full recovery.

The generosity, support and sense of community and belonging has absolutely blown myself and my family away.

People from every single aspect of our everyday lives have been so beautiful (for want of a more masculine term).

The sense of concern has been most humbling.

Catching up with so many old friends and foes, having real conversations, hearing things usually kept for the most intimate occasions – it feels like a gift.

This type of human connection is usually reserved for those on their death bed!

I have never been told how much I am loved and cared for – especially by fully grown men, some of whom are the most macho men I know.

While enjoying the support of a big Irish and Australian family, plus the extended families of Reach and the Melbourne Football Club, there hasn’t been a moment to dwell on the negatives, despite a few days of post-surgery hell last week.

I was at the point of “either knock me out or I will pass out if this pain continues”.

All I remember is my poor wife Sam, my brother Brian and great mate Jules Lund sitting around me helpless, yet nurturing and helping me with the will to fight on.

It reminded me of my wife’s 24-hour labour, except the roles were reversed.

Sam admitted what I seemed to be going through was a lot worse.

I was in so much pain I was oblivious to what was going on around me and I couldn’t open my eyes. I’m pretty sure I would have missed at least a week with this injury!

After that experience my wife put my mates on 24-hour surveillance. Consequently, my old Melbourne teammate Anthony Ingerson got the graveyard shift that night.

I felt sorry for him the next morning with only four hours of broken sleep before he headed off to a busy work day.

The real positive, though, was the level of conversation we got to have through that night. There were also some funny experiences throughout this surveillance period.

Such as being woken up by close mate Hugh Ellis, who snored extra loud after he passed out on a stretcher bed.

My brother-in-law Wayne Ludbey was kicked out by the fantastic nursing staff at Cabrini for being too rowdy.

Even in my drug-induced state I had a laugh.

My kids have been resilient and strong. They are young and just want Dad to be well to play with them.

The support for my wife and kids has been unbelievable. from emotional support to practical support.

Friends have been cooking and supplying food for both myself and all the family. They have helped keep the kids busy with play dates, sleepovers and activities.

People have helped with picking up the kids from school and dropping them at activities, so that their lives are not disrupted too much.

The school has been wonderful and very supportive.

Sam’s friends have been fantastic. Without all the help, Sam would not have been able to focus on me and support me as she has.

I have let my life become over-complicated and busy. Recently I read a great quote: “Healthy people have many goals, the sick only have one.”

When asked by many great people what’s really important now, it’s simple. I want to enjoy, love and grow together with my wife during these next years.

Second, and finally, I want to watch my kids grow up. Through Reach I have been around many kids who have lost a parent at a young age and found it extremely difficult to accept.

As many of you would know, cancer covers such a broad field, with very few people getting exactly the same strain of the disease.

Try to Google cancer and there is an infinity of research and cures. For this reason, it is such a personal journey.

Placing trust in the right people and being prepared to be honest with yourself is probably the biggest challenge.

I really believe the most effective cure starts within, getting the internal balance right and coming to an intuitive understanding of where this has really come from.

Having an open mind to healing of all forms, both Western and natural, has led me to some of the most experienced and accomplished specialists and healers – each one happy to complement the other, despite their varied fields of expertise.

While the exact nature of my cancer is still unknown, my specialists were able to narrow it into one particular field and concluded the best way forward was to cut out all the cancers visible under a PET scan.

As a result my surgeons removed cancerous growths in three areas. The biggest, and probably the most concerning, was in my upper lung, which they removed.

The surgery was a resounding success.

Tissue samples were sent off to the US and to a local hospital for a variety of tests, in the hope of understanding more accurately the nature of the cancer, chemo drugs that might work more effectively if required, and some other therapies that might suit my diagnosis.

Obviously, my best scenario is that it doesn’t return. However, there is this possibility, and if or when it does we will have a number of options up our sleeve.

In the meantime my immediate focus is on healing from surgery, as it feels like I have broken a dozen ribs.

Those of you who know me well will understand that relaxing and taking it easy is not in my vocabulary.

So a holiday away from life’s responsibilities, phones, computers, plenty of meditation and R & R with Sam and our two kids will go a long way to a quick recovery.

This will also allow me to mentally and emotionally work on my illness and heal the part of me that really needs to heal.

I know if I can do that, the cancer won’t return, and Sam and I will be in a healthier place than we have ever been before.

I know the cancer is simply a reflection of my life – a tap on the shoulder, let’s say, or a warning of worse things to come if I don’t listen to my body and spirit.

I expect to look back one day and view it as the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.

Finally, to all the young leaders running workshops and programs at the Reach Foundation: you continue to inspire me with your deeds and passion for greatness.

To all at MFC, I am very proud of what you have achieved on the footy field in the past two weeks. It was a great response to some poor performances.

Great to see the Dees off the bottom of the ladder.

As to the supporters, please jump on board during the “debt demolition” month of August and let’s aim to collectively halve our debt again.

Also, if you can make it, please book in for the MFC Gala Ball on Saturday, August 22, where I look forward to seeing you all – when I’m fitter and healthier than ever.

To all the other people out there who may be going through a similar challenge, your thoughts are in my prayers and I wish you well.

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