Fathers, who are usually the main breadwinners, need to follow a balanced lifestyle. They should not repeat the mistakes of their own fathers by spending too much time at work. Our children will grow up very fast and they will remember only the time we spend with them at home rather than the gifts we buy them with our hard-earned money.
I remember my father used to work the night shift – he left home at 3pm to drive his taxi till midnight. I hardly spoke to him during my growing years as I was at school when he was at home during the day. When I returned home from school, he was already at work. I hardly knew him and always longed for him to spend more time with me.
He contracted terminal lung cancer at age 60. Knowing that time was limited, we talked a lot and I then realised he was a knowledgeable and easy-going man. A year later, he died.
Till today, I wish my father had spent more time with me. I appreciated the money he brought home so we could live comfortably. However, it could never replace the lost time we could have had together.
Nowadays, I try to spend whatever time I have with my daughter. We talk about the latest music and books.
Be a friend to your children and you will be amazed how much they love to communicate with you.
Gilbert Goh
Sydney, Australia
Below is a comment posted on ST Forum comment page in response to my article:
i totally agree. because of the nature of my job (i am a captain of a mega-containership), i have to be away from my family for at least 6 months each time which means that i hardly have time for my 2 kids who are 6 & 12 this year. it aches my heart tremendously to miss their growing up years n no matter what material gifts i buy them, it can never atone for my absence. thankfully i have a wonderful wife who is a most caring mother to our children. i chose this career 25 years ago n i knew the price. it has been most rewarding (i am 47 n have paid up my condo & car years ago n totally debt-free) but the sacrifices have been staggering. there is not a single day that goes by that i never thought about giving it all up. thankfully my kids understand n appreciate the comfortable lifestyle that i have given them n the sacrifices that i have made but it can never make up for my absence when they need me most.
Posted by: chancmi at Mon Jun 22 14:20:40 SGT 2009
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