What I Learned During Those 20 Months of Unemployment
Written By: Gilbert Goh
Many have asked me what I learned during my twenty months of unemployment during the Sars period.
Firstly, I have definitely emerged a much different person than before. To say that this is my toughest period of my life is an understatement.
I will share how it has changed my life and hopefully others will also find their life have changed after being baptised by the fiery fire of joblessness.
1. Priorities shift – my priorities shifted after that period. I began to treasure my loved ones more especially my family. Having come from a family that did not show much love and attention to me when I was young, it was difficult to demonstrate love to my family. However, that period changed all that. I have learned to treasure moments with them especially so when I really needed their support during my down times. Before that, like many other Singaporeans, I have worked too hard in my job. As an insurance advisor, I could only visit my clients in the evening when they were off work. There was one period that I only saw my daughter once in two weeks and I realized that she was also distancing away from me. Moreover, my health suffered and I would fall sick every week either due to the flu or fever. Though I was chalking $60,000 to $70,000 a year, I was unhappy and much alienated from my family.
2. More matured – my maturity also grew after that period and I am also mentally stronger. I used to give up on things easily especially when they are hurdles placed in front of me. A good example of this was when we put everything on hold and rushed off to Australia for further study. We left behind good careers and sold off our home. However, after a year of failing to settle in and some domestic disagreement, we returned to Singapore – disrupting our study prematurely.
I would not say that I am on top of everything that I do now but certainly I could sense that my emotions are more steady now and I am calmer.
3. Living simply – I also learn to live simpler now especially in terms of a lifestyle change. I use to spend a lot on food, holiday and hobbies unnecessarily. We flew to Europe for holidays at least once a year then and spent up to $5,000 each trip. Now, we holidayed nearby and tried not to spend more than $2,000 per trip. We also live modestly and definitely in public housing so that we won’t be caught up again with mind-boggling mortgage repayment. So I live within my means now and simply. The next thing that I am determined to do is to cut away that plastic card.
4. More compassionate – those months of staying unemployed have opened up my heart to the unfortunate and I have since diverted my career to the social work sector. Maybe having gone through a lot of down times myself allowed me a chance to look into trying to help others in dire straits themselves. I have also worked in the Community Development Council (CDC) as an employment consultant working among the jobless and penniless. My stint as an unemployed person before has given me vast experience in trying to ease their fear and provide them hope during the period of their joblessness. The best person to help others in need is someone who went through the same experience himself. The pay is low but work is meaningful.
Most people who came out of prolonged unemployment always learned something along the way. For some it is a closer walk with their family as they went through the crisis together and this kept them solidly intact. For others it could be a career switch due to a shift in their world view. Most importantly, do not waste the opportunity to grow as a person when living in adversity. Adversity has this habit of chipping away at one’s rough spots and smoothening them in the process. We live this world once and we have to learn to embrace the good and the bad times. Life is tough and we have to be overcomers. Tough times make tough people!
To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist. Gaff Sheehy
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