Children often suffer from the impact of a parent being laid off at work – especially if it is the breadwinner. Unfortunately, they are unable to articulate their grievances or consulted before we implement any cost cutting considerations in the family. We laid off the maid and my daughter felt the loss especially so when she is rather close to her. I felt very bad but there was no way that we can hold on to the maid without suffering a financial crunch.
I have heard of families having to downgrade their homes when the breadwinner was laid off from his job. Home foreclosure is also common and some even have to aunction off their furniture items due to a court order because of non-payment of bank loans.
When this happened, the family undergone extreme stress especially if they have young children who could not fully understand the situation. If possible, for the stability and self esteem of the family and breadwinner respectively, banks need to be very compassionate and only do furniture aunction when all effort were exhausted to recall back the loans. During down time, banks need to stretch out their arm of compassion and care and not pour oil over a fiery fire.
During that dark period, there was also a tragic case of a breadwinner who could not secure any work for more than a year, he later committed suicide and left behind his family members. When he died, the newspaper reported that his wallet only had less than $20.00. During that period also, many blue collared workers were laid off as manufacturing plants began to relocate to cheaper neighbouring countries to set up shop. The uncertainty and desperation must have drove many middle aged uneducated workers to the brim of insanity and panic. Families broke up as some breadwinners could not take the pressure of having to cope with providing for the whole family unit and simply disappeared. So the impact of joblessness on the family is massive and sometimes destructive.
My Daughter
I also remembered my only daughter would sit quietly in one corner whenever there was an argument with my wife over finances. However, her countenance betrayed her emotions and I realised later that she was suffering in silence also. Our children will also feel the tension and frustration when an adult member of the family go through joblessness. It is like some kind of transference and I detected that she cheered up considerably when I managed to find a job later. So, never think that your children are ignorant or apathetic to your situation if they are silent. They may be suffering inside for all you know.
Needless to say, my wife and I did not enjoyed a very healthy relationship then. Though I wished that she would be more understanding, our financial issues cropped up regularly to upset any harmony we might have within the family. Situation at home is tense to say the least.
Thus, one has to be very conscious of how our other family members feel when we are unemployed and became home-bound on a prolonged period. They also feel our emotions and can even reflect that when they are in school or with their friends. I remembered how I lost my temper easily on my poor daughter who was too young to react. Having the chance now to reflect on what happened, I regretted losing my temper round the house easily. My mum and daughter got the full brunt of my explosive temper as I was mostly highly strung because of the seemingly hopeless situation. Every time that I lashed out at them after an especially rotten day I felt bad and would withdraw into my cocoon.
I later decide to talk to them about my situation so that they could understand my predicament better. It was a wise thing to do as the situation at home improves after that and I flared out lesser and they also tried their ways to please me so that things are easier for me to bear. So communication is still very vital to keep the ship sailing on smoothly despite very rough water.
My mother’s quiet assuring way has also largely influenced me positively on how I reacted to things during that period. Whenever something bad happened either through a loan default payment letter or a fast dwindling account, one look at her would steady me. I don’t know how she did it but her simple unfuzzed countenance has a calming effect on me. She seldom talks and use her action rather than empty words to relay a message. This perhaps is her greatest strength as most people would talk too much and try to pass advice to you but in the end they do nothing positive to help you. To this day, she remains the one person that positively influence me in her own quiet way so that I am able to get out of the rut in one piece safely.
There is nothing to fear but fear itself.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Written by: Gilbert Goh
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